Scrupulosity, dreams and Confession

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CutlerB

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Dear friends,

one often reads about scrupulosity being sin, or at least an impediment to a healthy spirituality. For some time I categorically rejected the thought that I might be scrupulous, but in recent weeks I have begun to rethink the matter. I find myself seeing sin in almost everything, from joking to the plot of my favourite TV show, as silly as it sounds (Shameless plug: Downton Abbey is the best TV show ever!). I am not sure how to deal with this, because I feel that it would not be helpful to just not be concerned about sin — walking through life as though it didn’t exist — either.

Connected to this, I have been bugged by weird dreams that were sinful in content. Now, I know that while asleep one is not responsible for what one dreams, but the problem is that I am aware of two recent instances in which I felt conscious while having those dreams. To this day, I can remember and recall those dreams, which is why I know I had some level of consciousness. This is the side of the issue which would make me think I sinned, but on the other hand I can’t be so sure because I went straight back to sleep after that “conscious” phase.

With Sunday coming up, I am wondering whether I need to go to confession. I am afraid of profaning Our Lord’s Body. Actually, I have said in Confession multiple times that I “may have received the Eucharist unworthily”, just to be safe.

I know we are supposed to be joyful Catholics, but it is hard for me to be that way, given this scrupulous attitude, constantly thinking “This is sin, that is sin, don’t laugh about this joke, because it treats even the tiniest sin humorously, etc.”. Would anyone have some advice? Have they perhaps been in a similar situation to any of the above ones?

I should be grateful for any help and prayers offered. 🙂
 
Dreams are dreams. Now if one say turned ones thoughts intentionally or something to them while awake…well there can be sin there.

For a mortal sin one needs grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate consent.

As to confession - one confesses sins. If one confesses something one is not sure about -one notes that.

As to if your scrupulous or have a tendency to such - a good confessor can help one know.

But it is important not to confuse a delicate conscience (distinguishes calmly between mortal and venial sin but is sensitive to smaller venial sins as smaller venial sins) with a scrupulous one (though one can be mixed too).

A person with scruples - ought to have a “regular confessor” who can direct them. Such is the age old practice in the Church.

For ones scruples interfere with right judgement of conscience. One can become like a ship without a rudder. For a time at least one needs that regular confessor. One follows his direction (in what is not manifest sin -like he says go murder so and so -that one would not do). He can also give you general principles for you to follow.

Scruples are to be “dismissed” not conversed with. Treated like a barking dog or a hissing goose --one does not stop to talk with either of those does one? No. One keeps walking (image borrowed from a Carthusian from the middle ages).

Same with scruples with the guidance of a regular confessor who knows one.
 
CutlerB said:
Connected to this, I have been bugged by weird dreams that were sinful in content. Now, I know that while asleep one is not responsible for what one dreams, but the problem is that I am aware of two recent instances in which I felt conscious while having those dreams. To this day, I can remember and recall those dreams, which is why I know I had some level of consciousness. This is the side of the issue which would make me think I sinned, but on the other hand I can’t be so sure because I went straight back to sleep after that “conscious” phase.
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When you sleep it is not as if your mind goes from 100% consciousness to 0% consciousness instantaneously. In fact, I think it is far better to think about “control” rather than “consciousness.” Sleep and dreaming vs. awake states of the brain are not black vs. white but gray area. Most people do not remember their dreams and even less people can control their dreams. But the people who can control their dreams probably have some level of culpability in what they do in their dreams. This would be no different than you daydreaming, for example. It is just like daydreaming on steroids. What would be worse, daydreaming about murdering somebody, or controlling your dream and actually murdering somebody in your dream?

The problem is that sometimes you think you controlled your dreams simply because the dreams were so vivid. Just because you can remember dreams from a long time ago does not mean you had control of them. I can remember dreams from 20 year ago a lot better than some real life things that happened 20 years ago. And I am certain that in some of those dreams I had no control.
 
I have great advise, others will of course disagree perhaps…
Just be yourself, don’t worry about your dreams, don’t become obsessed with your faults.
You are you,your not a robot that has no emotion, you will and do make mistakes like
Almost everyone else…, Pray, Breath , and relax…just have fun,in a respectful manner .
 
yellow8yellowM said:
When you sleep it is not as if your mind goes from 100% consciousness to 0% consciousness instantaneously. In fact, I think it is far better to think about “control” rather than “consciousness.” Sleep and dreaming vs. awake states of the brain are not black vs. white but gray area. Most people do not remember their dreams and even less people can control their dreams. But the people who can control their dreams probably have some level of culpability in what they do in their dreams. This would be no different than you daydreaming, for example. It is just like daydreaming on steroids. What would be worse, daydreaming about murdering somebody, or controlling your dream and actually murdering somebody in your dream?

The problem is that sometimes you think you controlled your dreams simply because the dreams were so vivid. Just because you can remember dreams from a long time ago does not mean you had control of them. I can remember dreams from 20 year ago a lot better than some real life things that happened 20 years ago. And I am certain that in some of those dreams I had no control.
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In understand. Still, I seem to be haunted by bad dreams recently. Yet another instance of that was tonight. 😦
 
CutlerB said:
In understand. Still, I seem to be haunted by bad dreams recently. Yet another instance of that was tonight. 😦
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I would recommend saying a prayer before falling asleep, asking for a restful and peaceful night, as well as a normal (non-lucid) dream.

Also, keep in mind you have no control over what you dream about. There is absolutely no sin if you have bad dreams every night. As somebody who dreams vividly every night, I have lots of scary dreams. Dreams by nature are exciting, but this is often exciting in a bad way. My advice is to take whatever positive you can out of them, and do not let the negatives bring you down. It’s fine to try to remember your dream, but don’t let it influence your day.
 
yellow8yellowM said:
I would recommend saying a prayer before falling asleep, asking for a restful and peaceful night, as well as a normal (non-lucid) dream.

Also, keep in mind you have no control over what you dream about. There is absolutely no sin if you have bad dreams every night. As somebody who dreams vividly every night, I have lots of scary dreams. Dreams by nature are exciting, but this is often exciting in a bad way. My advice is to take whatever positive you can out of them, and do not let the negatives bring you down. It’s fine to try to remember your dream, but don’t let it influence your day.
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I do, but it doesn’t always turn out that way 😦 I keep asking, because it’s Sunday, and I am not sure about receiving Communion. 🤷
 
CutlerB said:
I do, but it doesn’t always turn out that way 😦 I keep asking, because it’s Sunday, and I am not sure about receiving Communion. 🤷
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You may not be getting what you are praying for, but the fact that you are asking for sin-free dreaming would lessen any culpability you may have if in fact you did find yourself in control of your dream.

I really want to emphasize that just because your dreams are very vivid and clear does not mean that you are in control. It may just seem that way. I honestly doubt the average priest is going to be able to discern whether or not you are really in control or not. I doubt the average psychiatrist would either. But you should ask your priest what to do in your situation and trust his judgment so as to avoid possible scrupulosity. If you are 100% honest with him and tell him your whole story, and If he then says you were not sinning, then you were not sinning.

A useful analogy would be when you are walking down the street and a beautiful woman walks by. You see her, but do not look for too long. You did not intend for her to cross your path, and you did not intend for lustful thoughts to enter into your mind. The priest cannot know for sure if you slipped into sin or not, but you might want to confess it anyway. He will absolve you (if necessary), but if you ask he will also advise you on whether or not it was sinful based on your intentions and your specific situation.
 
there are chrisitian assembly that understand how God talks to us in dreams and visions-- good luck – in finding a prophetic assembly

Joel 2:28-29
New International Version (NIV)
The Day of the Lord

28 “And afterward,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.
29 Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days.
 
bornagainagain said:
there are chrisitian assembly that understand how God talks to us in dreams and visions-- good luck – in finding a prophetic assembly

Joel 2:28-29
New International Version (NIV)
The Day of the Lord

28 “And afterward,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.
29 Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days.
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Believe me, God would not cause these dreams. 😃
 
CutlerB said:
Dear friends,

Connected to this, I have been bugged by weird dreams that were sinful in content.

Now, I know that while asleep one is not responsible for what one dreams, but the problem is that I am aware of two recent instances in which I felt conscious while having those dreams. To this day, I can remember and recall those dreams, which is why I know I had some level of consciousness.
This is the side of the issue which would make me think I sinned, but on the other hand I can’t be so sure because I went straight back to sleep after that “conscious” phase.

2013 John Paul Jackson talks about what dreams mean

youtu.be/mINnkvj6vug
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I don’t think I am obsessed. Would you really say that someone who keeps sinning shouldn’t keep trying to be holy?
 
yellow8yellowM said:
Can you explain what you mean?
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Is it healthy that a person is so frightened of committing a sin, that they become obsessed
With being holy, and deny themselves the simple pleasures of life,
I say this, because at times I have questioned people’s statements or questions concerning there own weakness and mortality , advising people that they seem obsessed and should relax a bit and open their eyes to the wonders of life and the God given senses of their being
, God has given us life, I believe God wants us to experience his Gifts.,
And learn about ourselves and the universe that surrounds us ,
And not be ashamed of our bodies and mind,
If we are so weak, if we are so obsessed with being of clean mind and body,
Then we should remove our hands and cover ourselves with a sheet so not to offend …
 
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