Scrupulosity is Taking Over My Life

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Christbearer03

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Dear Fellow Catholic Answers Forum Users,

First off, I want to apologize for posting a lot of things and about constantly mentioning my scrupulosity, but I joined this website because I was looking to get help from some of the wonderful people here.šŸ™‚

Scrupulosity, really, is taking over my life. Almost every day I have some kinds of worries, doubts, or fears, especially about mortal sin and going to Hell. The thought of spending eternity in Hell scares me so much. But I try to tell myself that Christ is our hope and our salvation. I constantly fret over many small things, and I almost immediately think it was a mortal sin. If something were to be a mortal sin, I would have to be truly aware of it at the time, correct? Every time I have bad thoughts, I panic and worry almost instantly. Confession is also not always the easiest thing for me. I also worry about my prayers a lot. Because of all my worries, I even start to cry sometimes. As I am typing this I am upset about thoughts that I had that were not great.

I was wondering if anyone today could provide me with some comforting words, advice, etc. Anything to help me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, and may God bless you all! Have a wonderful summer!
 
I will re-post an older post of mine.

A person struggles with scruples - what ought they do?

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a* ā€œregular confessorā€ who can direct them --and even give them some general principles* to follow -to apply (principles for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

Thus with their direction they can ā€œdismiss scruplesā€ (in the older language despise them) - ā€œact against themā€ (agere contra).

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.

Such ā€˜obedienceā€™ to a regular confessor who knows of ones scruples (except in what is manifest sin - such as if he told them it was ok to murder someone or something certain like that) is key. Such is the age old practice.

Also counseling -(especially if one also has OCD) could be helpful depending on the case -but one would want to look for a counselor who can assist one in following the Churches Teachings - not go contrary to them (I have heard CA staff mention catholictherapists.com/)

Here was a not too long ago post from Jimmy Akin of CA that I saw in the Register and saved for those who struggle with such.

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/6-tools-for-the-scrupulous
 
(to re post another older post of mine)

All sorts of thoughts can happen to us out of the blueā€¦

The fact that a though happened to one- does not mean per se* there was any sin*.

And for mortal sin one needs grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate (complete) consentā€¦
Nowā€¦

For the next few moments --try real hard NOT to think of an Apple.

then scroll down.

What did you think of?

An apple.

Even though your will was against it -you did not want to think of an apple.

Now back to unwanted thoughtsā€¦

The best thing to do with such thoughts is not to fight them directly --not fear that they will comeā€”simply do not consent and simply and calmly turn to something elseā€¦(or it may be best to keep doing the good thing one is doingā€¦like they come out of the blue when your at work ā€¦keep workingā€¦keep praying ā€¦etc)

(one can gently - conversi ad Dominum - turn towards the Lord -perhaps with a look of love or a short prayer which is a very ancient practice - pm me if you if you need more).

Ignore such unwanted thoughts like one would ignore a hissing goose or a barking dog. One does not stop to argue with a hissing goose or a barking dog does one? No one keeps on walkingā€¦

(as noted above the image there comes from a Carthusian Monk from centuries agoā€¦)
 
I fully agree with the use of a regular confessor. Not just for scruples, but in general, I find this can be very beneficial, we all have habitual sins we struggle with.
 
I also suffer with scrupulosity and OCD, and I know how debilitating it can be. However, there is relief when you see these things in a different light, and understand that everyone is called to suffer at some point. As Catholics, we are called to redemptive suffering-offering our suffering to HIs Holy Cross in reparation for our sins. Also, you can look at this type of suffering as a gift from God. I know it sounds ludicrous, however, I know that in my case, if I had not had the various crosses that I carry daily, I would not have the relationship with Jesus that I have today. God draws us nearer to him through suffering. If your life was full of happiness, riches, and earthly pleasures, would you be seeking God the way you do. You are afraid of committing mortal sin, and I know that it is difficult for you to determine what a mortal sin actually is. The constant ā€œwhat ifā€™sā€ have a tendency to turn everything into a mortal sin, if dwelled on long enough.

I have improved dramatically over the last several years, but still suffer daily. Here are some of the things that have helped me. If you havenā€™t yet, you should go to scrupulous anonymous.com, it is a site moderated by Fr. Santa, and is full of references, articles, book titles, etc. Another book that I highly recommend is Fr. J.P. De Cuassadeā€™s Self Abandonment to Divine Providence. When I read it I get great comfort, for it is as though Fr. Cuassade is speaking directly to me. His advise and wisdom in matters of despair, scrupulosity, consolations, self-abandonment, and the like, have been a great help for me. It is one I pick up and read whenever I feel the pangs of scrupulosity or any other anxiety. I pray the rosary (almost) daily, pray often, remember Godā€™s mercy (for His mercy endures forever), and when I feel anxious I say to Him, ā€œJesus I trust in You.ā€

Finally, if you have access to a holy, understanding priest, seek spiritual direction. In this day and age, it is difficult to find a priest who is willing, or has the time, for spiritual direction. When no priest is available, discuss your anxieties with someone you trust, and who has a good understanding of scrupulosity and/or OCD. There are many on this site who have given me support and encouragement in the past, and it is something that I appreciate very much.

Pax Christi!
 
I second the idea of seeking professional help and spiritual direction. When anxiety is at such a fever pitch that you are having trouble applying spiritual and behavioral remedies, you might need something like meds to dial it down a bit. Your health provider can help you find whatā€™s best.

Secondly, Father Santa now has a radio call-in show, which you might also find helpful. šŸ™‚

radiomaria.us/scrupulosity/
 
Reading the book ā€œScrupulosity and Sainthoodā€ really helped me with my scrupulosity.
 
I canā€™t tell you how much a regular confessor and spiritual adviser has helped me.
 
Bookcat said:
I will re-post an older post of mine.

A person struggles with scruples - what ought they do?

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a* ā€œregular confessorā€ who can direct them --and even give them some general principles* to follow -to apply (principles for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

Thus with their direction they can ā€œdismiss scruplesā€ (in the older language despise them) - ā€œact against themā€ (agere contra).

Scruples are to be dismissed ~ not argued with.

To borrow and image from a Carthusian from centuries ago: Scruples *are like a barking dog or a hissing goose -one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or a hissing goose does one? * No one keeps walking.

Such ā€˜obedienceā€™ to a regular confessor who knows of ones scruples (except in what is manifest sin - such as if he told them it was ok to murder someone or something certain like that) is key. Such is the age old practice.

Also counseling -(especially if one also has OCD) could be helpful depending on the case -but one would want to look for a counselor who can assist one in following the Churches Teachings - not go contrary to them (I have heard CA staff mention catholictherapists.com/)

Here was a not too long ago post from Jimmy Akin of CA that I saw in the Register and saved for those who struggle with such.

ncregister.com/blog/jimmy-akin/6-tools-for-the-scrupulous
Click to expand...
:thumbsup:Thank you so much for reposting this! Awesome advice.
 
My friend, be at peace. The Light of the Lord Jesus is with you always. He has told us to ā€œBe not afraidā€ and that ā€œBehold, I am with you always.ā€ The fact that you notice so many sins is good in a way because it shows your great sensitivity to sin and that therefore you know great love. However your scrupulosity is not healthy and needs to be addressed. Go to a regular confessor and tell him all of your troubles, and the Lord God will help you through them. Try to go now if you can, or at the very earliest you can.

I was dealing with some minor scrupulosity last year, and God got me through it through my regular confessor, and in my case, I am pretty much over it.

My prayers are with you! May God bless you and keep you at peace! šŸ™‚
 
Richard_White said:
My friend, be at peace. The Light of the Lord Jesus is with you always. He has told us to ā€œBe not afraidā€ and that ā€œBehold, I am with you always.ā€ The fact that you notice so many sins is good in a way because it shows your great sensitivity to sin and that therefore you know great love. However your scrupulosity is not healthy and needs to be addressed. Go to a regular confessor and tell him all of your troubles, and the Lord God will help you through them. Try to go now if you can, or at the very earliest you can.

I was dealing with some minor scrupulosity last year, and God got me through it through my regular confessor, and in my case, I am pretty much over it.

My prayers are with you! May God bless you and keep you at peace! šŸ™‚
Click to expand...
Thank you Richard and everyone else for your kind words! If I may, I would like to ask all of you a question.

Over the past few days, without getting too specific, I have had thoughts that are not the best or nicest. Today, I sort of realized that maybe they could be mortally sinful. My guess would be that they are not mortal since I was not really completely aware of that at the time.This is bothering me right now.
 
Christbearer03 said:
Thank you Richard and everyone else for your kind words! If I may, I would like to ask all of you a question.

Over the past few days, without getting too specific, I have had thoughts that are not the best or nicest. Today, I sort of realized that maybe they could be mortally sinful. My guess would be that they are not mortal since I was not really completely aware of that at the time.This is bothering me right now.
Click to expand...
Brother we all ā€œmiss the markā€ and entertain bad thoughts.

Iā€™ve had really evil thoughts of killing people in fits of anger, cheating on my wife, etc. I think you may have something that needs addressing if you are constantly having these thoughts, however.

Like anything else, a good confessor is of the utmost importance.

Now that I think about it, Iā€™m due a confession. šŸ˜‰
 
Christbearer03 said:
Thank you Richard and everyone else for your kind words! If I may, I would like to ask all of you a question.

Over the past few days, without getting too specific, I have had thoughts that are not the best or nicest. Today, I sort of realized that maybe they could be mortally sinful. My guess would be that they are not mortal since I was not really completely aware of that at the time.This is bothering me right now.
Click to expand...
I would bring it up at Confession and then now worry about it any more. God knows our hearts and what we have truly willed and heat we havenā€™t, so be at peace. Also, one thing that I do is say to myself, ā€œWhat have I done?,ā€ in order to think if I have actually done anything or if I just made it up on my own.

May God bless you and protect you always! šŸ™‚
 
Hi Christbearer

I have suffered from scruples and OCD as well, so I feel your pain. :console: This is a very difficult cross; St Therese of Lisieux (who as you may know, suffered this as well) called it a martyrdom. You are suffering with Jesus in the garden right now, and you console him with your presence. Moreover, you are capable of winning so much merit for souls by offering up your suffering (you are a Christbearer šŸ™‚ ). Having said that, you definitely want to fix this problem.

The best advice I can give, which is the advice that comes from the saints (particularly St. Alphonsus of Ligouri who not only suffered from scruples, but helped many other souls who suffered from it too), is to find one holy priest to go to confession. Be obedient to what he says. You cannot go wrong with this.

Another support would be this blog, which I think is really good: littlestsouls.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/consolation-for-scrupulous-souls-some-advice-from-st-alphonsus/
I found this quote helpful, personally: ā€œBeware lest from overmuch desire to walk securely, thou dost stumble and fallā€ (attributed to St. Antonious).

The other thing is that if you are having trouble functioning (eating, waking up, sleeping, working, etc), or feel very depressed/suicidal, you need to see a doctor. My scruples turned into a psychological problem. That may or may not be the case with you, but I just wanted to put it out there. The Church herself encourages us to use natural means to treat problems, whenever it is possible and morally permissable. If you do see a psychologist and undergo some kind of therapy, please know that the frontline treatment for OCD is something called exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP). You are slowly exposed to things you fear. You may be worried about whether your therapy is moral, so Iā€™d encourage you to have dialogue with a priest who can support you (and Iā€™ve generally found that they are very willing to do this). Iā€™ve personally found that some therapy and having one confessor to be very benefical; although I struggle once inawhile, my scruples are under control.

Also, donā€™t forget to pray. Here is a link with some quotes by saints on scruples that I found helpful. books.google.ca/books?id=PFOSN7Gtwa0C&pg=PA153&lpg=PA153
My favourite is by Blessed Henry Suso: ā€œWe may conclude that persons who suffer from scruples are the most favoured by Divine love, and the most certain of reaching Heaven when they bear this trial in patience and humilityā€¦ā€
I also recommend reading St. Therese of Lisieuxā€™s diary and Fr. Jacques Philippeā€™s ā€œSearching for and Maintaining Peaceā€ (or any of his books really. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED). The Divine Mercy Chaplet, or contemplating the Sacred Heart of Jesus may also help you remember the unimaginable mercy and love God has for you.

I know it is hard to see now, but God loves you so much. St Therese and St Faustina said that what wounds the heart of Jesus the most is not our sins, but our lack of trust in him! Trust him Christbearer, he wonā€™t let you fall through the cracks. He wants your salvation far more than even you want it! Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat, and know that you are in my prayers. :hug3:

Most Holy Mother of God, grant Christbearer peace and security under you mantle. Amen.
 
Christbearer03 said:
Dear Fellow Catholic Answers Forum Users,

First off, I want to apologize for posting a lot of things and about constantly mentioning my scrupulosity, but I joined this website because I was looking to get help from some of the wonderful people here.šŸ™‚

Scrupulosity, really, is taking over my life. Almost every day I have some kinds of worries, doubts, or fears, especially about mortal sin and going to Hell. The thought of spending eternity in Hell scares me so much. But I try to tell myself that Christ is our hope and our salvation. I constantly fret over many small things, and I almost immediately think it was a mortal sin. If something were to be a mortal sin, I would have to be truly aware of it at the time, correct? Every time I have bad thoughts, I panic and worry almost instantly. Confession is also not always the easiest thing for me. I also worry about my prayers a lot. Because of all my worries, I even start to cry sometimes. As I am typing this I am upset about thoughts that I had that were not great.

I was wondering if anyone today could provide me with some comforting words, advice, etc. Anything to help me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, and may God bless you all! Have a wonderful summer!
Click to expand...
This is all you need to know and believe it with all your heart:

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Donā€™t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience Godā€™s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
 
WT1 said:
This is all you need to know and believe it with all your heart:

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Donā€™t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience Godā€™s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Click to expand...
Thank you for quoting Saint Paul here! Very wise words indeed, as impaired by God Himself!

May God, the Blessed Trinity, bless and protect you all abundantly and forever! šŸ™‚
 
Flame4 said:
Hi Christbearer

I have suffered from scruples and OCD as well, so I feel your pain. :console: This is a very difficult cross; St Therese of Lisieux (who as you may know, suffered this as well) called it a martyrdom. You are suffering with Jesus in the garden right now, and you console him with your presence. Moreover, you are capable of winning so much merit for souls by offering up your suffering (you are a Christbearer šŸ™‚ ). Having said that, you definitely want to fix this problem.

The best advice I can give, which is the advice that comes from the saints (particularly St. Alphonsus of Ligouri who not only suffered from scruples, but helped many other souls who suffered from it too), is to find one holy priest to go to confession. Be obedient to what he says. You cannot go wrong with this.

Another support would be this blog, which I think is really good: littlestsouls.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/consolation-for-scrupulous-souls-some-advice-from-st-alphonsus/
I found this quote helpful, personally: ā€œBeware lest from overmuch desire to walk securely, thou dost stumble and fallā€ (attributed to St. Antonious).

The other thing is that if you are having trouble functioning (eating, waking up, sleeping, working, etc), or feel very depressed/suicidal, you need to see a doctor. My scruples turned into a psychological problem. That may or may not be the case with you, but I just wanted to put it out there. The Church herself encourages us to use natural means to treat problems, whenever it is possible and morally permissable. If you do see a psychologist and undergo some kind of therapy, please know that the frontline treatment for OCD is something called exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP). You are slowly exposed to things you fear. You may be worried about whether your therapy is moral, so Iā€™d encourage you to have dialogue with a priest who can support you (and Iā€™ve generally found that they are very willing to do this). Iā€™ve personally found that some therapy and having one confessor to be very benefical; although I struggle once inawhile, my scruples are under control.

Also, donā€™t forget to pray. Here is a link with some quotes by saints on scruples that I found helpful. books.google.ca/books?id=PFOSN7Gtwa0C&pg=PA153&lpg=PA153
My favourite is by Blessed Henry Suso: ā€œWe may conclude that persons who suffer from scruples are the most favoured by Divine love, and the most certain of reaching Heaven when they bear this trial in patience and humilityā€¦ā€
I also recommend reading St. Therese of Lisieuxā€™s diary and Fr. Jacques Philippeā€™s ā€œSearching for and Maintaining Peaceā€ (or any of his books really. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED). The Divine Mercy Chaplet, or contemplating the Sacred Heart of Jesus may also help you remember the unimaginable mercy and love God has for you.

I know it is hard to see now, but God loves you so much. St Therese and St Faustina said that what wounds the heart of Jesus the most is not our sins, but our lack of trust in him! Trust him Christbearer, he wonā€™t let you fall through the cracks. He wants your salvation far more than even you want it! Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat, and know that you are in my prayers. :hug3:

Most Holy Mother of God, grant Christbearer peace and security under you mantle. Amen.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your words to me and your prayers! I greatly appreciate it. I actually have been praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for quite a while now, and I have also been praying to the Blessed Mother to help me. I do have a book about scrupulosity by Father Thomas Santa. Maybe I will take a look at the other book that you recommended to me. I just have to keep telling myself that Christ loves me, cares for me, and his mercy is greater than sins. I will be going to confession next weekend. Then I will be at ease about mortal sin and hopefully I will have a peaceful and relaxing summer!

Thanks once again, and may God bless you for your kindness!
 
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