Scrupulosity? Please help

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Dranu

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Should I trust my reasoning or my feelings. I’m really confused. I had impure thoughts (and a feeling of pleasure came from it), and right after words I felt very guilty. I did not purposely try to bring about the pleasure, nor can I recall really trying to think about it either. My worry has been eating me up, and so I tried to go back and think if I had sinned and how, and then I realized that by thinking about it I repeated it (I think there was a hint of pleasure), but this time trying to bring up those thoughts to see if there was sin, without consciously trying to sin though (but maybe I really did try to but don’t realize it, since I did choose to reflect on it?)
My reasoning tells me that it seems very unlikely that it could be a mortal sin, but I have a great fear that I am not in a state of grace, and I can barely do anything but think about it. At the same time, I really do not want to have to confess, so that makes me think that somehow my reason could be clouded by my desire of not wanting to confess, meaning that I should do so to be sure. Confessing would probably be the thing to do though, right?
 
Wow! Re-read your own post very slowly. What does this sound like to you? You are being way too hard on yourself. We all have the moments that you described. Thoughts do come and go all day long. And with those thoughts come a pleasurable moment because we are hardwired for these kinds of attractions. But if you do not dwell on them and let them pass then it was merely temptation and no sin was committed.

You see, I do the same torturous thing to myself. And what is happening here is satan lets you feel that you are never in the state of grace. Many times I feel that God’s love is conditional and that I let Him down so He no longer sees me in the same way. He loves all of those other “saints” but as for me I am doomed. This is a very hard situation to overcome. I have to work at it daily. Definitely do go to confession. It’s not that you might be in mortal sin because of these thoughts but because you need to experience the mercy of God.

And one last thought: Pink elephant. Yes, I said Pink elephant. Now try and not think of one. The more you try not to think of my pink elephant the more it comes to mind. It’s our human nature. Pray for me as I will for you…God Bless…teachccd:)
 
You are converting to Catholicism, so you may not be allowed to go to confession yet. In your case I would suggest you find a priest who will agree to work with you on this problem of scrupulosity. I am sure that you can find one. If the first one you ask doesn’t want to help, try another. When you have found one stick with him and follow his instructions to the letter. Being scrupulous is almost as bad as being in hell. Left to run wild it can lead to despair and just giving up trying to be good.

In any case what you are describing is a temptation and not a sin. Worrying about it will only make matters worse as you will swing back and forth in your conclusions and get nowhere near a resolution. I will pray for you. I was once in this kind of pit so I know with the help of a priest you can overcome and defeat it. 👍
 
Scrupulosity often has its roots in depression, another more subtle sin, or emotional abuse from others. Remember that there is a very fuzzy line between sinful behavior and psychological problems. A person can sin without intent t sin. In my mind, this is venial, and minor. Entertaining the thought of sin can lead one to sin, but having the thought pass though one’s mind is not sin.
 
I’ve had that before, that I would go back to a thought to find out if it was sinful, and then being worried about the way i felt while going BACK to the thought again…

I know I have a problem with scrupulosity, and from your post it sounds like you do too. The fact that you go back and forth about this, can’t think about anything else… if you knew you had sinned, it would be way more clear-cut, I think.

Sometimes we just can’t influence what we think that much.

Umm, Jerusha Depression a sin?:confused:

Kathrin
 
I don’t think I implied that depression is a sin. However, entertaining depressive thinking is a sin, as is refusal to get help, in the form of medication and/or couseling. Because these can lead to suicide.
There are many counseling approaches, but all are aimed at improving one’s personal and interpersonal functioning. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been demonstrated in carefully controlled studies to be among the foremost of the recent wave of methods which achieve more rapid and lasting results than traditional “talk therapy” analysis. Cognitive therapy, often combined with behavioral therapy, focuses on how people think about themselves and their relationships. It helps depressed people learn to replace negative depressive thoughts with realistic ones, as well as develop more effective coping behaviors and skills. Therapy can be used to help a person develop or improve interpersonal skills in order to allow him or her to communicate more effectively and reduce stress. Interpersonal psychotherapy focuses on the social and interpersonal triggers that cause their depression
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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression

Scrupulosity is one of the characteristics of depression. Learning to recognize the characteristics of depressive thinking, along with medication, can change things immensely. (And improve one’s relationship with God 🙂 )
 
Oh its not depression, nothing of the sort, I suppose I feel pretty bad though thinking I might be in sin and failing, but its nothing of entertaining absolute despair. I am actively trying to look for the right solution. Kathrin seems to be exactly summing up my situation.
I think I’ll take the advice and go to confession, mentioning that I might be dealing with scrupulosity (certainly isn’t like the times a few months back where I am like 98% sure I have done something mortaly sinful, if not certainly a sin I am at least actually guilty of). Thanks for all the help!
 
Glad you are not seriously depressed. The counseling people often receive in the Sacrament of Reconciliation suffices for many. Make sure you choose a good confessor.
 
One piece of advice I got from my confessor lo these many years ago was that if I couldn’t decide one way or the other on whether I had committed a mortal sin, I was to put it out of my mind and not confess it.Whether that would apply to a person who was not scrupulous I don’t know. But it saved my life. He said when someone commits a mortal sin they will know it, not just wonder.
 
rwoehmke said:
One piece of advice I got from my confessor lo these many years ago was that if I couldn’t decide one way or the other on whether I had committed a mortal sin, I was to put it out of my mind and not confess it.Whether that would apply to a person who was not scrupulous I don’t know. But it saved my life. He said when someone commits a mortal sin they will know it, not just wonder.
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This is good advice and this is how I deal with my scrupulosity too.
 
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