Scrupulosity Problems

[Tennis42]

Lately, I’ve been having problems with scrupulosity. It seems like I’ll often say or do things that could be considered mortal sins (or I could just be scrupulous) impulsively, like I’ll say something inappropriate, or I’ll tell someone a rumor about someone. I’ll briefly think that what I’m about to do could be a mortal sin, but then it seems like there’s no stopping, like it’s impossible to stop saying the thing. Also, I’ll occasionally have impure thoughts for a few seconds, and I’ll try to stop, but I keep being tempted. It usually will last for a few seconds, and then I’ll realize what I’m doing and stop, but afterwards, it gets extremely hard for me to judge whether or not I commited a mortal sin. I’ll go back and forth about whether or not I did commit one. Also, it seems like whenever I go to confession, I’ll think i’m in a state of mortal sin a few weeks later. Am I being too scrupulous?

 

[Bookcat]

Speak with a good confessor …and get a regular confessor.

Such would be the standard advice to be given to one who may have difficulties in this area.

 

[Bookcat]

(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other bad thoughts…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life)

---

Another help…is the distinction between “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice is to say “yes” or “no”.

So relax about “unwanted thoughts”…sometimes they just come…you know like unwanted phone calls from politicitians and salepersons etc…but you can always say “no thank you” or just ignore the call and go about your business

 

[Monica4316]

Lately, I’ve been having problems with scrupulosity. It seems like I’ll often say or do things that could be considered mortal sins (or I could just be scrupulous) impulsively, like I’ll say something inappropriate, or I’ll tell someone a rumor about someone. I’ll briefly think that what I’m about to do could be a mortal sin, but then it seems like there’s no stopping, like it’s impossible to stop saying the thing. Also, I’ll occasionally have impure thoughts for a few seconds, and I’ll try to stop, but I keep being tempted. It usually will last for a few seconds, and then I’ll realize what I’m doing and stop, but afterwards, it gets extremely hard for me to judge whether or not I commited a mortal sin. I’ll go back and forth about whether or not I did commit one. Also, it seems like whenever I go to confession, I’ll think i’m in a state of mortal sin a few weeks later. Am I being too scrupulous?

scrupulosity is feeling like you’ve committed a mortal sin when it was venial, or no sin at all… if you have difficulty resisting temptation to do certain things, that is not scrupulosity. As for the intrusive thoughts, - if you fight them, you are not consenting to them Try to just not consent to any sins…

if you knew that something would be a mortal sin, but chose to do it anyways, yes that is a mortal sin.

God bless

 

[Merrianne]

I have scrupulosity problems myself, and so far this has been quite helpful! I guess my question would be: how do you know whether your sin is grave or not? For instance, what if I promised God something, then a few days later deliberately broke that promise? Or did in fact commit a grave sin, but didn’t know it was grave in the first place? Would those be considered grave?

 

[mariafransisca1]

In a state of mortal sin after confession, might be… we are so easy to fall to temptation.

But take it this way, as long as you do not consent to what tempts you, you haven’t fall to mortal sin.

Mortal sins holds three categories, when the matter is grievous, when the reflection is complete, and the consent is full.

When any of these three categories you haven’t fell into, it is considered venial sins.

For me, the hardest struggle is to do the will of God, to keep chastity in today’s world.

I have to avert my eyes, so as not to look at immodest clothes, and they are many.

Temptation against purity is a matter grievous, but as long as I haven’t given my consent to it, I haven’t fall into a mortal sin. Or lose the grace of God, for the matter.

But scrupulousity, can be a sign that you love Jesus, just do not take on it too much.

You should read the Story of a Soul, by St. Therese of Lisieux, she deals with scrupulousity too, what she called martyrdom.

She suffers from scrupulousity, and her faults are but minor faults but she cried over it . She said, she cried for crying.

Here is the book
basilica.org/pages/ebooks/St.%20Therese%20of%20Lisieux-Autobiography.pdf

You can also read “Catholicism” by george Brantl

It is where I get my theory of the three categories. The book is excellent, but I forget on which page he talked about mortal and venial sins.

Here is the book in separate sections:

The Abscence of God
download1049.mediafire.com/rjj6a3k7uqcg/7sjuayqnomgg2ya/The+Abscence+of+God.pdf

Theophany
download376.mediafire.com/be778hhbcehg/2x7299aw28wy0q1/Theophany.pdf

Advent
download298.mediafire.com/7x2nqqu2ybmg/cfqfc6v2wdcirw9/Advent.pdf

Incarnation
download139.mediafire.com/62kfcby79g9g/b1ri7baunamrqhu/Incarnation.pdf

Pentecost
download946.mediafire.com/run1cosqokfg/p1t4j5a6a6bacmq/Pentecost.pdf

Faith
download1010.mediafire.com/3afjs7akhaug/ywsn5916ymp8wu7/Faith.pdf

The Transformation in Christ
download1337.mediafire.com/bckf0sok8fbg/m8vk8pu2rd3zp92/The+Transformation+in+Christ.pdf

The Catholic Affirmation
download1211.mediafire.com/k33lcpenydpg/vcu86w26hv9ttqa/The+Catholic+Affirmation.pdf

The Last Things
download844.mediafire.com/tjllifmxp1tg/vmcgc7dg55sz65d/The+Last+Things.pdf

I put it up online.

You can read about the sacraments, and the sacrament of penance in particular, in the pentecost section.

Excellent, excellent book, couldn’t recommend it enough. It converted me, I was a lukewarm catholic before, and by reading this book, I get to know my faith. He made references to many saints, mostly blessed cardinal henry newman, St. Augustine, St. Ignatius…

–
everycatholicblog.blogspot.com

 

[dedo]

Hi Tennis42:

I don’t know where to draw the line on scrupulosity and I look for the priest for guidance.

I have had priests hint that I was being scrupulous. However, that does not mean that we should not each work to overcome temptation, whether it is a mortal sin or not.

I think one of the best ways to do this is to start to crowd out bad habits with good habits that you do every day. And every day is important. You could start with a daily decade of the Rosary for example. Try to daily speak a compliment, or a blessing, over another person. Then you are building a “wall” against what tempts you.

If you fall into temptation, just strengthen your wall.

Also, do not dance near the flame. You don’t want to put yourself into situations where things can spin out of control.

Do these two things: (build a wall, and stay far from sources of temptation) and you will find that many of the issues you are concerned with will fade away.

Best,

Dedo