Scrupulosity Support

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melissa09

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I’ve recently realized that I’m quite scrupulous at times and have problems understanding why that is. I’ve read the 10 Commandments of the Scrupulous and can identify with many of them, but how do I fix it? I know it isn’t completely a bad thing…but it can be a problem at times too!

I realize I’m not alone…that many people are scrupulous(even if for only a short while). So please feel free to share your experiences here and your questions…and maybe we can all get a few answers!!🙂
 
What helps me is reminding myself that I believe in a loving God, Who understands me with all my irks and quirks, Who knows my heart… and watches all of us with gentleness.
Somebody here once wrote to somebody else: “You won’t go to hell on a technicality”.🙂 I loved that!

Kathrin
 
Do you ever think you’re in a state of mortal sin - or that you didn’t confess a sin well enough. That’s what it constantly bugging me right now…and I know God loves me, but if I am in fact in a state of mortal sin I’m not as close to God as i’d like to be…I love going to daily mass but I’m almost afraid to now because I feel I shouldn’t receive the Eucharist.
 
melissa09 said:
Do you ever think you’re in a state of mortal sin - or that you didn’t confess a sin well enough. That’s what it constantly bugging me right now…and I know God loves me, but if I am in fact in a state of mortal sin I’m not as close to God as i’d like to be…I love going to daily mass but I’m almost afraid to now because I feel I shouldn’t receive the Eucharist.
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That’s one thing I wondered about Daily Mass. If I go to Daily Mass on Thursday or Friday, then chances are, I probably would have sinned by then compared to if I went on Monday. Sometimes, it’s hard to know if I’ve sinned if all I do is sit in front of the computer and program 8 hours a day, sleep for 8, and spend the other 8 getting ready for work/for bed, reading or praying. I’m pretty sure there’s things then that I’m not doing. 🤷
 
melissa09 said:
Do you ever think you’re in a state of mortal sin - or that you didn’t confess a sin well enough. That’s what it constantly bugging me right now…and I know God loves me, but if I am in fact in a state of mortal sin I’m not as close to God as i’d like to be…
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I think all of us who take this religion serious are a little hard on ourselves (a little overly scrupulous) at times. Goes with the territory of being introspective.

The only way a mortal sin is not forgiven in confession and remains if it was deliberately and willfully withheld. If you just in retrospect think you could have confessed it better or more clearly, that’s not willful or deliberate.

One thing that overly scrupulous people do that is detrimental is to believe that somehow God can’t forgive them. Judas did it, he believed that he committed a sin so great God couldn’t forgive Him. God knows the secrets of the heart. Trust him and his mercy. And don’t be so hard on yourself.
 
I thought God wouldn’t forgive me once - is that a mortal sin too?
 
melissa09 said:
I thought God wouldn’t forgive me once - is that a mortal sin too?
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:rotfl: …yep, most definitely scrupulous. 😛

Honestly, I don’t know. Did you truly despair or ever being forgiven? Did you truly believe that “God can never ever forgive me for this”, and sincerely doubt in the power of His mercy? Or did you just wonder about it a whole lot, and feel very worried about it? At any rate, I’m sure you’re fine. Worst case, no matter what it was, as long as you didn’t (1) truly know that it was a mortal sin, and (2) deliberately withhold it during your last confession… it’s been taken care of. 🙂
 
melissa09 said:
…and I know God loves me, but if I am in fact in a state of mortal sin I’m not as close to God as i’d like to be…
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You are aware of the fact that, if you are sincerely sorry for your sins (out of your love for God and repulsion at having offended Him), you can still be forgiven of them, right? Now, in this case, you’re still not allowed to receive Communion without first receiving the sacrament of Confession… but the fact is, God isn’t going to send people to Hell if they are truly sorry for their sins. You need not fear for your relationship with God, unless you have deliberately chosen to offend Him. He is loving, and merciful, and He wants to be your best friend. 🙂
melissa09 said:
I love going to daily mass but I’m almost afraid to now because I feel I shouldn’t receive the Eucharist.
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It’s just a thought, but do think it might be possible that the devil wants you to feel that way?

I can’t remember who it was who said this (I want to say Mother Angelica, but I can’t be certain)… but anyway, the question went something along the lines of: “How do you know when you’ve committed a mortal sin?” And her answer was: “Would you notice if you swallowed a horse?” …the point being, as long as your conscience is well formed, you’re going to know deep down if you’ve truly committed a mortal sin and harmed your relationship with God.

If you’re not in a state of mortal sin, then you have nothing to fear from receiving the Eucharist. And receiving the Eucharist in a state of grace (like many other sacraments, sacramentals, and blessings) will actually remove all of your venial sins, too… although of course you may still list them in confession, to obtain even more graces to help you avoid those smaller failings.

At any rate, I really, really think you’re doing fine. Try to relax, and don’t panic about the small things… just offer up a small Hail Mary for help avoiding scrupulosity while at the same time keeping a well-formed conscience, and you’ll be well on your way in no time. 👍
 
melissa09 said:
Do you ever think you’re in a state of mortal sin - or that you didn’t confess a sin well enough. That’s what it constantly bugging me right now…and I know God loves me, but if I am in fact in a state of mortal sin I’m not as close to God as i’d like to be…I love going to daily mass but I’m almost afraid to now because I feel I shouldn’t receive the Eucharist.
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God wants you to live happily. Scrupulosity is not happiness! It is the opposite!

I heard it explained this way once: the scrupulous think that the gift of God’s sanctifying grace is too easily removable. You shouldn’t worry about mortally sinning because it is hard to for those not trying to mortally sin.

Don’t go back and over-analyze the situations in which you are tempted. You’ll know 100% if you’ve fully consented AND fully knew about a thing’s sinfulness and the magnitude of the sinfulness. You won’t need to muddle through things because things really aren’t that muddied. It will be crystal clear to you if you have mortally sinned.

It is very hard to mortally sin for someone who is committed to God. If you feel you may “slip” into mortal sin, don’t think that! Someone who is looking out for these situations (as scrupulous people certainly are) will not be bamboozled by the Devil into “accidentally” falling into mortal sin. Mortal sin is not accidental at all. It is the most deliberate thing you can do.

I suggest you read up on St. Ignatius. He was scrupulous, but one day realized that scrupulousity was a temptation. One day he was no longer held by scrupulousity because he decided to not yield to that temptation. If you are tempted to muddle through your actions, just stop and trust in Jesus’s Mercy. Go over your actions later and do so in a simple manner (an examination of conscience shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes).

Pray to him and similar saints who underwent great hardship. They will pray for you.

A rule for the scrupulous- if a sin is questionable (meaning you aren’t 100% sure it was a sin and it was mortal), you assume that it wasn’t mortal.

The biggest thing to do is to trust in God’s Mercy. Look at the picture of the Divine Mercy. Jesus forgives everything. He especially is mindful of the scrupulous. Just RELAX.

These are just my own words as I have learned from others. Don’t take everything as complete truth because I am just a person and might not have the best advice. I suggest, if the problem doesn’t go away in a while, to get a good spiritual director (the best one being a priest whom you can confess to). That seems to be the best help anyone can reccommend to the scrupulous. You have to trust in your confessor and in your other spiritual leaders. Trust is the biggest thing.

I also suggest reading Understanding Scrupulosity: Questions, Helps, and Encouragement by Thomas M. Santa or some similar book which you know is reliable. Also, subscribe to the Liguori Publications’ Scrupulous Anonymous newsletter.
 
melissa09 said:
Do you ever think you’re in a state of mortal sin - or that you didn’t confess a sin well enough. That’s what it constantly bugging me right now…
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Sometimes… but my scrupulosity is mostly about doing the right thing, about feeling guilty about things I did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say…

Kathrin
 
melissa09 said:
…how do I fix it?
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Maybe the problem is that you are trying to fix it. Allow God to fix the problem for you. When you put it in Christ’s hands he’ll either heal you completely of it or he’ll help you more effectively deal with it to help further the Kingdom of God.
 
Melissa,

I am a new convert since April, and my scruplosity began at the end of my first confession!

Since then I have suffered with this condition every week in some form or another…some days it is so difficult, since I love to go to daily mass, and my anxiety centers upon whether I can recieve the Eucharist.

There is an out of print book that has been most helpful (easily found on amazon) called “Pardon and Peace” by Fr. Alfred Wilson…here is a link to a copy:

amazon.com/Pardon-Peace-Alfred-Wilson/dp/2000027776/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1213039530&sr=8-4

This book was a revelation to me, and the author covers everything you need to know about confession!

I discovered that knowing about my faith (by reading and studying books) has helped understand what a mortal sin (in thought or deed) really actually IS…rather than having to guess or not be sure because of lack of understanding.

I discovered that with knowledge of the Catholic faith, I started to get the ability to trust myself in identifying mortal sin, or venial sin…and making a decision and sticking to this decision rather than sucumbing to panic.

It’s a growing process, but Jesus os so merciful and wants to grant us peace…

The Lilies of the Field sermon in Matt 6 is a passage that reminds me of God’s mercy!

–Todd
 
For the last few years, I developed a scrupulous personality. Obsessed with getting confessions just right, racking my brain for un-confessed sins, worrying about whether something was a sin or not, forgetting to confess something, worrying whether something was confessed properly…etc…I know this sounds familiar to a lot of people.

Near the end, I was going to confession 5 or 6 times a week, some times twice a day and sometimes 2 or even 3 times within 30 minutes. Basically, in a two week period, I could go as many as 16 times.

The relief used to last days…near the end, the relief would last minutes, if not seconds, sometimes the relief lasted less time than it took to get out of the church before I realized that I`d forgotten to confess something and a wave of anxiety would sweep over me.

What you need to understand is that I am a very normal man, normal job, normal life…yet this anxiety ate away at me…it was awful and nothing seemed to help.

I went to my Doctor and have been put on medication. Wow, what a difference, the anxiety and fear is now in check. I have been freed of my scrupulosity. No more daily confessions, no more worrying about my thoughts, no more worrying about hiding this secret. I was so embarrassed, but I told my Doctor and my wife…nobody laughed at me, but wanted me to get well.

I`d thought about getting help for years, but kept putting it off and convincing myself I could change alone…

Something to consider…and my Doctor took me very seriously by the way. It seems more rooted in anxiety than it does in OCD if your interested.

Scrupulous anonymous is a great resource, but my anxiety was stronger than my will to follow the suggestions and 10 commandments of the scrupulous. My anxiety was stronger than anything, now the medication has taken care of the anxiety, where I can now employ all the strategies with success.

Best of luck.
 
thanks to all who have helped…but im going to take a leap here and ask another question…i confessed once that I had seriously thought about ending it all (im sure you know what that means:( ) but for a long time I put it out of my mind and forgot about it so i received Communion, when i finally remembered and confessed this I forgot to add that I had received Communion with a mortal sin, not intentionally though, I was so nervous …would that still be a good enough confession to cleanse both mortal sins?
 
melissa09 said:
I confessed once that I had seriously thought about ending it all (im sure you know what that means:( ) but for a long time I put it out of my mind and forgot about it so i received Communion, when i finally remembered and confessed this I forgot to add that I had received Communion with a mortal sin, not intentionally though, I was so nervous …would that still be a good enough confession to cleanse both mortal sins?
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Yes. (Check these out for more details:)

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=34416
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=141944
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=13352
 
onetimeposter said:
For the last few years, I developed a scrupulous personality. Obsessed with getting confessions just right, racking my brain for un-confessed sins, worrying about whether something was a sin or not, forgetting to confess something, worrying whether something was confessed properly…etc…I know this sounds familiar to a lot of people.

Near the end, I was going to confession 5 or 6 times a week, some times twice a day and sometimes 2 or even 3 times within 30 minutes. Basically, in a two week period, I could go as many as 16 times.

The relief used to last days…near the end, the relief would last minutes, if not seconds, sometimes the relief lasted less time than it took to get out of the church before I realized that I`d forgotten to confess something and a wave of anxiety would sweep over me.

What you need to understand is that I am a very normal man, normal job, normal life…yet this anxiety ate away at me…it was awful and nothing seemed to help.

I went to my Doctor and have been put on medication. Wow, what a difference, the anxiety and fear is now in check. I have been freed of my scrupulosity. No more daily confessions, no more worrying about my thoughts, no more worrying about hiding this secret. I was so embarrassed, but I told my Doctor and my wife…nobody laughed at me, but wanted me to get well.

I`d thought about getting help for years, but kept putting it off and convincing myself I could change alone…

Something to consider…and my Doctor took me very seriously by the way. It seems more rooted in anxiety than it does in OCD if your interested.

Scrupulous anonymous is a great resource, but my anxiety was stronger than my will to follow the suggestions and 10 commandments of the scrupulous. My anxiety was stronger than anything, now the medication has taken care of the anxiety, where I can now employ all the strategies with success.

Best of luck.
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I thought it was OCD even before you said it. :o I live with the same disorder. It makes saying prayers difficult sometimes, and I find the examination of conscience difficult too. It is tempting not to go through my examination of conscience too thoroughly, and then I worry about how well I’ve done it and if I’ve left anything out. I generally say in confession something along the lines of, “And for any sins that I’ve forgotten that I need to confess, I am sorry.”

I’m so glad your doctor was good to you. I believe it’s very important to have an empathetic doctor, particularly in cases concerning religion and faith. 🙂
 
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