Scrupulosity Tearing Me Up Inside...

[nsper7]

Lately, I feel as though I am being just torn apart by my Scrupulosity. I try to pray the Rosary (or any other prayer) and these crude sexual and sacreligious thoughts come up, many of them involving Jesus or the Blessed Virgin Mary, and it scares me because I am afraid that at some level I consented to the thought or ruminated on it. I worry that a new ‘dirty’ thought will come up or something and then, when it comes up, I worry that I had consented to it since I was worrying about it. Even though the thoughts are disgusting, there have been a couple times where it was almost like it caused an involuntary (I don’t know) arousal which then makes me even more scared that I consented to these horrendous thoughts.

I worry that I have fallen into the mortal sin and blasphemy and sacreligious thoughts. It destroys my prayer concentration and gets me worried, which almost seems to cause another ‘bad’ thought.

Are these thoughts mortal sins? It really bothers me and scares me. I always worry that maybe they are.

Also, on a different note, will Scrupulosity bar a person from the Priesthood?

 

[sea_star]

It might be ironic that I am answering your thread on your painful prayer (I just posted a thread now called “painful prayer”), but I want so very much for you to know that you are not to blame. You have a doubt about whether the thoughts are voluntary, right? Of course, then you are not to blame. This means you are not responsible for the way thoughts pop in your head. You are also displeased with the thought, so much that it makes you sick in your heart. Scrupulosity is a mental disorder ( disorder of the thought- process) and is an illness psychologically as well as spiritually. You need to tell your confessor your doubts and just listen to him.

Trust me, you are not in mortal sin—and you can rest in peace----I will take the heat (so to speak) for giving you this advice. Rest well.

 

[nsper7]

Thank you, sea star, for your words of comfort. My other concern (perhaps a ‘meta-concern’) is will Scrupulosity keep me from the Priesthood? I worry that, with my mind sort of haywire as it were, I will be rejected during the future discernment process.

 

[Red_Meg]

Two small pieces of advice–

1. Find a good priest who understands scrupulosity and is willing to help you out. Then FOLLOW HIS ADVICE TO THE LETTER.
2. (Please mods, don’t misconstrue this as medical advice!) Consider speaking to your physician about obsessive-compulsive disorder. Sometimes it can be the root cause of scrupulosity, and needs to be actively treated. I had a good friend in college, a devout Christian, who was horribly plagued by this in grad school. It wasn’t something he could reason or pray his way out of. OCD can be an issue of brain chemistry run amuck, and no amount of good intentions and good advice will fix that without medical help to go along with it.

Best regards,

Margaret

 

[nsper7]

1. (Please mods, don’t misconstrue this as medical advice!) Consider speaking to your physician about obsessive-compulsive disorder. Sometimes it can be the root cause of scrupulosity, and needs to be actively treated. I had a good friend in college, a devout Christian, who was horribly plagued by this in grad school. It wasn’t something he could reason or pray his way out of. OCD can be an issue of brain chemistry run amuck, and no amount of good intentions and good advice will fix that without medical help to go along with it.

I do suffer from OCD (at least according to the psychologist I used to meet with a lot several years ago).

 

[blessedtoo]

I do suffer from OCD (at least according to the psychologist I used to meet with a lot several years ago).

If you suffer with OCD and scrupulosity, posting on an internet forum is probably the worst thing you could do. Inevitably, you will get responses which will feed your anxiety, fear and worry.

Do as the others have suggested - find a good priest and do exactly as he says. And pray instead of posting!

God bless!

 

[sea_star]

Didn’t St Alphonsus Ligouri suffer from scrupulosity? I think I remember reading that somewhere—pray for his intercession—I am sure all will go well in God’s Will for you and your becoming a priest with his help and prayers for you in heaven. I pray now for you in my own way, and I am sure all will go well.

I am so very glad for you that you have gotten other responses, and that others are certainly praying for you. Others here have wise advice.

 

[Mark_Robert]

You are too focused on yourself. You need to get out and do some charity work. Focusing on other’s problems will get the attention off self and the worries that accompany excessive egocentrism. Yes even spirituality can be an exercise in selfishness. If you focus on helping others this scrupulosity that you are so afraid of will fall by the wayside. Doing corporeal and spiritual acts of service are effective ways off drawing attention away from yourself and onto others.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Hi, if you have OCD then you simply resist the thoughts and there’s no sin. You really need to consult your dr and get a good spiritual director or go to a good confessor and tell him your problem and follow his advice to the letter. This is very important. Always go to the same sd or confessor if you can. If the priest makes a mistake in advising you and you follow his advice perfectly then you are free of guilt even if he makes a mistake. Follow him and don’t worry if possible.

 

[Dempsey1919]

Ignore these thoughts. The more you think about them, the more they will occur. Acknowledge these thoughts, but do not dwell on them. When these thoughts arise in your mind, quickly banish them and replace them with praise and thanksgiving.

Prayer is a battle. You will encounter many difficulties within your prayer life but you must persevere. Don’t blame yourself entirely for these thoughts; it is very likely that the Enemy is behind them. The evil one will do anything to interrupt your prayer life because prayer is a means to become closer to God. Christianity is a fighting religion. This world is occupied enemy territory and we are fighting against many evils. Don’t expect to be left alone during times in your life when you are drawing closer to the Lord.

You must do your best to fight these thoughts. You will only be culpable if you actively encourage these thoughts in order to derive pleasure. As these thoughts are unwanted, you are not to blame. These episodes are unwanted attacks on your spiritual life and you must do your best to overcome them.

Recognize them for what they are: temptations and spiritual attacks.

 

[rescath]

I just want to make the point that you should probably not take the advice of people on this forum. You need to have a good traditionally-schooled priest work with you who knows you and knows your soul – and who has the necessary graces of state to be able to help you.

I suffered from scrupulosity for many years, but a good Confessor entirely cured me of it. He told me I was scrupulous and ordered me not to abstain from Holy Communion or come to Confession more than during a certain interval unless I was ABSOLUTELY SURE that I had committed a mortal sin. He told me that I had to obey him on this, that God would not punish me even if I happened to be wrong, and pointed out that St. Thomas Aquinas taught that receiving Holy Communion would restore one to a state of grace from a state or sin in such cases. He would ask me, are you SURE that you committed a mortal sin. I would say no. He then said, “then don’t confess it.” To this day, because of my inclination towards scrupulosity, unless I’m absolutely sure that I’ve committed a mortal sin, I don’t trouble myself about it. Now, the reason you have to consult your Confessor is that this advice may or may not work for everyone and absolutely should not be given to those who might have LAX consciences. It really needs the discernment of a good Confessor.

If it’s any consolation, some saints have spoken about being distrubed by blasphemous and impure thoughts during prayer.

 

[ConservativeOne]

There is so much good advice in this thread, and since I haven’t been coming in lately, I have to assume it’s Providence.

I suffer severe scrupulosity - and have for years. I won’t detail but OP’s problems are similar to mine. I despise having them. I am fearful of whether or not they were entertained.

But for those who felt this shouldn’t be addressed here - but rather with priest / OCD professionals - please - you have no idea for those suffering with this - how much it helps to read and discuss it - realizing one is not alone in this suffering. I would not compare myself to the saints who suffered temptations. I just know scrupulosity and/or OCD is ruining my spiritual life, and I need God. But I also need to know/discuss it, if there are others suffering the same.

 

[Nickkname]

Don’t worry, nsper7, you’re not alone. I too suffer from scruples. The Lord showed me how to use scruples to His greater glory:

Whenever you get bad thoughts (sexual or otherwise), immediately pray the Divine Praise that corresponds to said thought. For example, if the thought is a bad image of Mary, pray “Blessed be Mary, the great Mother of God” or “Blessed be the name of Mary, Mother and Virgin”. Another example: If a bad thought involves Jesus, pray “Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true Man” or “Blessed be the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus”.

The full Divine Praises are:

Blessed be God
Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true Man
Blessed be His Most Sacred Heart
Blessed be His Most Precious Blood
Blessed be Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar
Blessed be the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete
Blessed be Mary, the great Mother of God
Blessed be her Most Holy and Immaculate Conception
Blessed be her glorious Assumption
Blessed be the name of Mary, Mother and Virgin
Blessed be Saint Joseph, her chaste spouse
Blessed be God in all His angels and all His saints

You don’t have to pray the Divine Praises exactly: for example, you can say “Blessed be the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus” instead of “Blessed be His Most Sacred Heart”. You may also pray “Blessed be God forever,” because this is what is said in the thanksgiving prayer of Mass.

Just be docile to the Holy Spirit’s inspirations - ask Him for this great grace.

Another way to combat scrumples is, if Satan tells you you’ve sinned - for example, if you pray “Blessed be her Most Holy and Immaculate Conception” and Satan suggests to you that you’re making Mary equal to God - remind yourself that Mary is a creature. Reminding yourself of the truths which the Church teaches is an excellent way to combat Satan. Don’t talk to the devil, though - just ignore him and remind yourself of the truths of Catholicism.

If you feel like you’ve talked to Satan when combating him, than you can pray “Jesus, Mercy”. It’s a great way to entrust yourself to Jesus’ Compassionate Heart and trust in His Infinite Mercy.

I hope this helps.

 

[rescath]

There is so much good advice in this thread, and since I haven’t been coming in lately, I have to assume it’s Providence.

I suffer severe scrupulosity - and have for years. I won’t detail but OP’s problems are similar to mine. I despise having them. I am fearful of whether or not they were entertained.

But for those who felt this shouldn’t be addressed here - but rather with priest / OCD professionals - please - you have no idea for those suffering with this - how much it helps to read and discuss it - realizing one is not alone in this suffering. I would not compare myself to the saints who suffered temptations. I just know scrupulosity and/or OCD is ruining my spiritual life, and I need God. But I also need to know/discuss it, if there are others suffering the same.

I think that it’s perfectly OK to discuss it. But I think that you will need an actual firm Confessor to be cured of it. Mine was just so strong and firm about it that he completely cured me. For me it was so bad that if some throught or inclination entered my mind even for a split second I would not go to Holy Communion just in case I may have committed a mortal sin by a momentary consent.

I think that some spiritual writings which teach that you can commit a mortal sin in a moment of consent unwittingly contribute to scrupulosity. While that’s certainly possible, the rule given by the best writers on spiritual direction insist that if a person is scrupulous, then the criteria to be applied is that if the scrupulous person is not ABSOLUTELY SURE that he or she committed a mortal sin, it’s highly unlikely that one was committed. In other words, if you’re scrupulous, you would darn well know when you committed a mortal sin and you wouldn’t be worried. You’d simply know that you had to go confess it before going to Holy Communion.

One of the things I try to do if I’m feeling the inclination to be scrupulous is that if I’m not absolutely sure I committed a serious sin I go to Holy Communion as soon as possible, knowing that if I had somehow lapsed that Our Lord would restore me to His Grace in Holy Communion. Now, mind you, this is NOT for situations where you know you’ve committed a mortal sin. It’s based on the teaching of St. Thomas Aquinas. And St. Alphonsus Liguori taught probabilism, allowing you to act on any reasonably probable conclusion. So if in my mind there’s a reasonable probability that I did not sin, then I act as if I did not sin.

Quite the opposite for lax consciences though. For a lax conscience, if that person is not sure about whether he sinned, it’s probable that he did sin. I was actually even tormented for a time with thoughts that I really had a lax conscience–for otherwise I would realize the myriad mortal sins I was committing every day.

You really need to have a good, strong firm confessor who will whip you into shape as he did for me.

Oh, and scrupulosity often inflicts introspective melancholic people. What happens is that the person confuses the MOVEMENTS of the lower faculties, the sensible parts of the soul, with movements of the WILL. Yes, the mind might be drawn towards something, even appear to move towards it, but the will does not accept it. So it might involve getting a feel for when the activity of the will has been engaged vs. when the activity of the lower faculties have “moved”. If you’re scrupulous and you’re not sure whether you consented, then you did not consent. That’s a pretty hard fast rule. Then force yourself to go to Holy Communion and trust God’s Mercy. In so doing, you’ll gradually understand the distinction between the activity of the will and the (involuntary) movements of those lower faculties.

God loves you more than you love yourself and is not just standing there waiting for you to make a mistake so that He can punish you. Our Lord’s Sacred Heart has tremendous compassion for you in your torments of scrupulosity and wants to lift that burden onto Himself, just as He took your very sins on Himself. Just give them to His Heart and ask Him to take them from you. Give them to Him as a gift and let them go, and lose yourself in His Sacred Heart. He will not let you perish.

These are just some of the things I think about when the devil attacks me with inclinations towards scrupulosity.

 

[rescath]

But for those who felt this shouldn’t be addressed here - but rather with priest / OCD professionals - please - you have no idea for those suffering with this - how much it helps to read and discuss it - realizing one is not alone in this suffering.

Oh, but I do know. I deeply empathize and feel your pain in those words, since I myself know those torments, and the comfort you can get from reading words of consolation.

My caveats about discussing it with a priest was that a lax person could easily convince himself he’s scrupulous and continue on with that lax conscience. I’ve heard lax people say that: “Ah, that’s just being scrupulous.” That’s why I throw those disclaimers out there.

AND scrupulous people need that good strong Confessor who will firmly ORDER you to go to Communion and not confess doubtful sins. Otherwise, you can always be second-guessing yourself. If acting under obedience to your Confessor, however, you can let go of your own will regarding the matter. That’s the cure.

 

[blessedtoo]

There is so much good advice in this thread, and since I haven’t been coming in lately, I have to assume it’s Providence.

I suffer severe scrupulosity - and have for years. I won’t detail but OP’s problems are similar to mine. I despise having them. I am fearful of whether or not they were entertained.

But for those who felt this shouldn’t be addressed here - but rather with priest / OCD professionals - please - you have no idea for those suffering with this - how much it helps to read and discuss it - realizing one is not alone in this suffering. I would not compare myself to the saints who suffered temptations. I just know scrupulosity and/or OCD is ruining my spiritual life, and I need God. But I also need to know/discuss it, if there are others suffering the same.

That is understandable however the nature of scrupulosity and OCD is to constantly question and an internet forum is a virtual petri dish of personal opinion whereby a simple question can become a complicated and distressing conundrum for the scrupulous person who asks it.

It’s one thing to find others on a forum who suffer as you do - I think it’s great to know you’re not alone. But for someone with this condition, just one misguided comment from an anonymous poster can do much harm. Be careful and rely on your priest alone.

 

[rescath]

That is understandable however the nature of scrupulosity and OCD is to constantly question and an internet forum is a virtual petri dish of personal opinion whereby a simple question can become a complicated and distressing conundrum for the scrupulous person who asks it.

It’s one thing to find others on a forum who suffer as you do - I think it’s great to know you’re not alone. But for someone with this condition, just one misguided comment from an anonymous poster can do much harm. Be careful and rely on your priest alone.

Unfortunately, however, some priests – honestly – don’t know what they’re doing or have very little faith (don’t believe in things like sin at all). They will sometimes tell you that things you KNOW are sins are not sins at all.

In terms of a general understanding of the question, I would highly recommend the treatment of scrupulosity you will find in Father Tanquerey’s The Spiritual LIfe – published by TAN. Then find a priest who understands these matters. St. Theresa of Avila complained that she had to keep looking at different times in her life for a Confessor who actually knew anything. Bad priests can do more harm than just reading the advice. It’s important to inform yourself and then find a priest according to what you’ve learned. I’m sorry, but you can’t just trust any old priest these days.

Scrupulosity, by the way, is not necessarily OCD-related, though it obviously can be.

 

[nsper7]

One thing that bothers me greatly is like I’ll great angry (i.e. a few minutes, my comp kept freezing up), but then suddenly this blasphemous or sacrilegious thought crosses my mind (i.e. against Our Lord or Our Lady) and I worry that since I had been angry/irritated, I have thus consented to such bad thoughts and sinned badly.

 

[blessedtoo]

Unfortunately, however, some priests – honestly – don’t know what they’re doing or have very little faith (don’t believe in things like sin at all). They will sometimes tell you that things you KNOW are sins are not sins at all.

.

If you confess a sin to a priest, it is irrelevant whether he believes it to be a sin. When you are absolved, you have been forgiven.

I’ve a bit more faith in our priests, I suppose. I’ve confessed to almost all the priests here in my VERY liberal diocese and have never once had one state a known sin to be anything other than what it is.

A person with scrupulosity will do better with any priest over an anonymous internet forum.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Hi all
We had a long debate about scrupulosity on here nearly 3 years ago. it was not about OCD. If any have scruples then check this link forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=91679 I copied a lot of material from a very good book on scruples and others made great contributions and we debated the whole question in great length.
If you have scruples you need all the help you can get.