Scrupulosity

[Lov3sJesus]

I have scruples for awhile, and I think its impeding my faith big time, and I am to the point of getting tired of it. However I am also afraid of loosing my devotion, and gaining attachment to sins. Alot of my problems have to do with thinking of praying something evil, when the intent is opposite, and magnifying small thoughts to the point of being sins or even mortal. For example if I have a thought that says to do or think something evil or, and then I think about that thought, and contemplate doing it, but then force myself away from it and then I worry constantly if I have sinned.

The other thing is I constantly examine my conscious to see if I have done a mortal sin. It seems I see mortal sin everywhere. For example I fear I was doing things that I am not sure if I should do, I seem to tack on extra requirements on mortal sin, for instance I think I was doing centered prayer but I didn’t know it was wrong, until later, then I thought I couldn’t receive the Eucharist without going to confession. This is just an example.

Explaining it like out like this seems to make me logically think these thoughts aren’t sins or my action wasn’t a mortal one because I didn’t have full knowledge ( though I still hessitate to go to confession) I have difficulty applying this comfort when the “moment” occurs. Its hard to explain.

Does anyone have any advice?

I am looking for a cure to scrupulosity, does anyone know of a good book on this? Prefferably someone who has read it or has gone through this themselves and recovered. I have one called “A Thousand Frightening Fantasies” but it isn’t what I am looking for. I don’t have any good spiritual directors due to my location.

Thanks!

 

[asd72]

I am not scrupulous, but sometimes when I have unwanted thoughts that I don’t like. I say “I’m not listening to you Satan”, rather than blame myself, because you can’t always help it if a thought pops into your head.

Is that weird?

 

[Grace_Angel]

Lov3 Jesus, it sounds very much like scrupulosity and this is a type of OCD (obsessive compulsive Disorder). There are several books written on the matter of scrupulosity but I would suggest first a priest who you are comfortable with, who will then perhaps help you find someone who can help you long term. From experience in my practice I have encountered this and its a slow discovery of what initiated this feeling of beeing unworthy. It is a slow process but I have seen marvellous results
So go for it Priest first and then hopefully he will know of the best place next
God bless your life. Its good life.
GA

 

[Crumpy]

I don’t know if anyone can judge that you are being scrupulous, by just reading a post on this website.

We are guilty enough of sins without worrying about them on top of it. We of course should try to eliminate all sin from our life. I don’t know if I have every seriously tried that.

Maybe ONE thing you can do is to distinguish what is a temptation and what is a sin. If you realize and accept that there is a difference, then you should begin to pull yourself back when you realize that you are having a temptation.

also, maybe it will help you to pray when you are alone and to say prayers out loud, even if softly. I do that and it helps me to focus on the prayer, because I sense that different parts of my brain are always active. One part of my brain is doing the paying attention while another part of my brain is doing the praying. So, that may help to occupy two parts of your brain, while praing.

In that vein, maybe you can pray aloud along with some recorded prayer, like the rosary.

Admit that you’re trying to break a habit of second-guessing everything, and you can do certain things to give yourself some confidence about not sinning and about praying.