scrupulosity???

[mariam1976]

I came across this concept just now and was wondering how to discern whether i am one who has fallen into the sin of scrupulosity.
I know that i cannot stand excessive drinking and philanderers. Makes me lose respect for them and i cant be in their company for long.
i know that god says that you should have compassion for people.
so does that mean i should continue to be in the company of these kind of people as some of them were my friends… whom i have now broken off contact with. or should i run away from the temptation?

 

[Della]

I came across this concept just now and was wondering how to discern whether i am one who has fallen into the sin of scrupulosity.
I know that i cannot stand excessive drinking and philanderers. Makes me lose respect for them and i cant be in their company for long.
i know that god says that you should have compassion for people.
so does that mean i should continue to be in the company of these kind of people as some of them were my friends… whom i have now broken off contact with. or should i run away from the temptation?

Scrupulosity isn’t a sin–it’s a spiritual condition that makes you think you’ve sinned when you haven’t.

As to being friends with those who live lives of sin, it is best not to make them constant companions so that you don’t fall into their habits of sin. But, you can certainly be their friend and try to help them correct their lives–not by lecturing them but by showing them the love of God in the way your treat them and help them.

Having said that, though, it would be best for you to discuss your situation more fully with your confessor so he can advise you in your particular case.

 

[Em_in_FL]

This is a great article on scrupulosity…

newadvent.org/cathen/13640a.htm

It’s one thing to know “right” from “wrong”… once you’ve seen the light, that’s a fairly easy thing to know.

The difficult part can be the tendancy to lean towards judgement against others, and to loose sight of moderation.

St. Paul discusses moderation in all things… and Christ himself was known to eat with sinners.

Scrupulosity isn’t a sin, but it is definitely a great error.

 

[Em_in_FL]

so does that mean i should continue to be in the company of these kind of people as some of them were my friends… whom i have now broken off contact with. or should i run away from the temptation?

Spending time with friends who are “sinners” does NOT CAUSE you to sin. That would be your own personal choice.

Spending time with friends at a bar doesn’t make you a “drunk”…
Actually, your presence in their lives may be for their benefit!

Christ can work THROUGH us if we allow Him!

 

[Grace_Angel]

I came across this concept just now and was wondering how to discern whether i am one who has fallen into the sin of scrupulosity.
I know that i cannot stand excessive drinking and philanderers. Makes me lose respect for them and i cant be in their company for long.
i know that god says that you should have compassion for people.
so does that mean i should continue to be in the company of these kind of people as some of them were my friends… whom i have now broken off contact with. or should i run away from the temptation?

Mariam what you are describing is not scrupulosity, by a long shot. And scrupulosity by itself is not a sin per se, because it is not intentional. True Scrupulosity is a mental health issue along the lines of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders).
I see signs of “Pharisee” but not scrupulosity. If your dear friends are being sinful or living a sinful life and you are able to be a sign of the Gospel for them, you can then without saying or doing much help them to see the wrong ness of their behaviour.
I am sorry if the word “Pharissee” is strong but read the story of the Phariseee and the poor man in any of the Gospels. The Pharisee says look at me God, see I observe everything you ask of me (then he lists his good points) and doesnt mingle with the riff raff. and the poor man kneels at the back of the temple and “Lord forgive me a poor sinner”
To walk with the greatest of sinners is the best gift you can give to them because if you wish you can be the living Gospel.
God Bless
Grace Angel.

 

[Grace_Angel]

Scrupulosity isn’t a sin–it’s a spiritual condition that makes you think you’ve sinned when you haven’t.

As to being friends with those who live lives of sin, it is best not to make them constant companions so that you don’t fall into their habits of sin. But, you can certainly be their friend and try to help them correct their lives–not by lecturing them but by showing them the love of God in the way your treat them and help them.

Having said that, though, it would be best for you to discuss your situation more fully with your confessor so he can advise you in your particular case.

Great Post Della, not as convoluted as my own post.
Grace Angel.

 

[mariam1976]

thanks… that makes a lot of sense. The Pharisee is a good example. The log and the splinter is also another one I guess. But my fear is that I am maybe not strong enough to withstand and sometimes fall into the same sin as them when I am around them so I stay away. You know you feel like you are the only one who is the “righteous one” and everyone thinks you are prudish. So rather than withstand that, I tend to withdraw as I dont want to come across as the party-pooper. Does that make sense?
I was wondering if that was scrupulosity

 

[Grace_Angel]

thanks… that makes a lot of sense. The Pharisee is a good example. The log and the splinter is also another one I guess. But my fear is that I am maybe not strong enough to withstand and sometimes fall into the same sin as them when I am around them so I stay away. You know you feel like you are the only one who is the “righteous one” and everyone thinks you are prudish. So rather than withstand that, I tend to withdraw as I dont want to come across as the party-pooper. Does that make sense?
I was wondering if that was scrupulosity

Mariam you need to find out why you are sooooo afraid of God. So afraid that he is a punishing God that if you make a mistake He will punish you severely. Perhaps ask yourself why is it that if you fail you cannot go to God and say “sorry Lord, forgive me please” (through the medium of the priest) and you are forgiven. Or is it “pride” which is the probelm.
Fear and pride feed scrupulosity. Dont spend so much time worrying, spend much time being in love with both God and your friends, and in doing this you fulfil all requirements. If you love God and neighbour, you wont hurt either.
God Bless your beautiful life.
Grace Angel.

 

[cmujake]

mariam1976,

U R Strong enough to resist the temptation of following the poor behavior of others. Don’t consider yourself righteous because you have strong morals and have a desire to surround yourself with people of the same strong moral fiber. There is nothing wrong with pointing out someone else’s poor behavior; you are not judging, just bringing their behavior to their attention. Wouldn’t you rather try to help a friend with their poor behavior instead of ignoring it and letting them hurt themselves?

God Bless,

Jake

 

[mariam1976]

Mariam you need to find out why you are sooooo afraid of God. So afraid that he is a punishing God that if you make a mistake He will punish you severely. Perhaps ask yourself why is it that if you fail you cannot go to God and say “sorry Lord, forgive me please” (through the medium of the priest) and you are forgiven. Or is it “pride” which is the probelm.
Fear and pride feed scrupulosity. Dont spend so much time worrying, spend much time being in love with both God and your friends, and in doing this you fulfil all requirements. If you love God and neighbour, you wont hurt either.
God Bless your beautiful life.
Grace Angel.

I am sorry I dont understand what “Pride” has to do with this.

yes… I am scared and that is something I have realised just recently. I realise that almost all my life I have been scared of God as I have felt that whenever I do something wrong something happens in my life and i feel that it is God punishing me. I have to say that I have also been very blessed all my life and have always had the feeling that he is taking care of me no matter what.

But whenever I am tempted to sin now, I do say to myself that I love God and do I really want to hurt him by doing this? When I am so considerate of my family and friends, why am I not considerate to God who loves me so much? It becomes very easy then not to do it. More than the fear of punishment, this concept helps me not to do it!!!

 

[Grace_Angel]

I am sorry I dont understand what “Pride” has to do with this.

yes… I am scared and that is something I have realised just recently. I realise that almost all my life I have been scared of God as I have felt that whenever I do something wrong something happens in my life and i feel that it is God punishing me. I have to say that I have also been very blessed all my life and have always had the feeling that he is taking care of me no matter what.

But whenever I am tempted to sin now, I do say to myself that I love God and do I really want to hurt him by doing this? When I am so considerate of my family and friends, why am I not considerate to God who loves me so much? It becomes very easy then not to do it. More than the fear of punishment, this concept helps me not to do it!!!

Mariam,
I didnt mean to sound judgemental and I am sorry if it came across in that way. I have dealt in my work with scrupulosity and often it is wrapped up in OCDs and behind the OCD there is a deep seated fear. Fear of God (unreasonable type fear-not the “fear of the Lord”) fear of punishment. Fear of not being good enough. Pride sneaks in when we refuse to believe that irrespective of our sin, whatever it is, the Sacrifice of Jesus is always much much much greater. There is no sin that His precious blood cannot forgive or redeem. “Pride” refuses to believe this and be terrified. Whereas resting in the arms of Jesus and relyng on God’s endless Mercy, we can be assured that when we fail (sin) we acknowledge it (confession) and it is completely forgiven. When we really believe this. Truly I mean, then scrupulosity will flee. When we really understand this, the devil is put to flight because we have recognised the immensity of the love of God and the Love of Jesus, for each person, including you, me, and everyone else.
I hope this explained it a bit and I apologise if I offended you before.
God Bless
Grace Angel:angel1:

 

[mariam1976]

you dont have to apologise… did i come across as being offended??? hmmm… thats not the way I meant it at all… perplexed is more like it…

But not any more I understand what you are saying

 

[Grace_Angel]

Mariam,
I didnt mean to sound judgemental and I am sorry if it came across in that way. I have dealt in my work with scrupulosity and often it is wrapped up in OCDs and behind the OCD there is a deep seated fear. Fear of God (unreasonable type fear-not the “fear of the Lord”) fear of punishment. Fear of not being good enough. Pride sneaks in when we refuse to believe that irrespective of our sin, whatever it is, the Sacrifice of Jesus is always much much much greater. There is no sin that His precious blood cannot forgive or redeem. “Pride” refuses to believe this and be terrified. Whereas resting in the arms of Jesus and relyng on God’s endless Mercy, we can be assured that when we fail (sin) we acknowledge it (confession) and it is completely forgiven. When we really believe this. Truly I mean, then scrupulosity will flee. When we really understand this, the devil is put to flight because we have recognised the immensity of the love of God and the Love of Jesus, for each person, including you, me, and everyone else.
I hope this explained it a bit and I apologise if I offended you before.
God Bless
Grace Angel:angel1:

Hello Mariam,
OK I hope you are happy. Have happy and Holy Christmas and a New Year filled with buckets of love and graces.
God Bless
Grace Angel.:angel1: