Scrupulous and the 4th Commandment

[prodigalson89]

So I’ve caught myself in another pickle. Let me explain:

Today, I made the intention of completing a practice SAT Test during the day. I told my mother about this yesterday and this morning, I would do it. She did not command me to nor did she really push it.

Prior to a counselor meeting this morning, I fell into mortal sin. Habitual. I spent the next few hours looking for a priest, feeling depressed, trying to watch some comedy, eating fruit, etc. Finally found one and received absolution.

Decided to come home and just do the test as I said I would. Unfortunately, I miscalculated. The practice test will take 3 1/2 hours to complete. I only have 2 (work).

Have I committed mortal sin? Venial sin? I worry that I’ve bound myself up in an obligation of which I’ve made myself a liar.

I do intend on doing the test, it may just have to wait another day.

 

[EmeraldWings]

i do not think so, you certainly did not mean to do this or even realize what you did…although i can’t say that i see where there is any sin at all, either under the 4th commandment or the 8th,

first things should come first, if you needed confession, those other things rightfully needed to take a back seat, the most important thing is your soul, and i’m sure if you asked your priest(or your mother) they would both tell you that you have done no wrong.

well, unless i am mistaken, i hope this helps, but anyone please correct me if i’m wrong :3

ok take care.

 

[Lead_Me_Home]

Be greatful that you could find a priest so quickly. At my parish there is a scheduled time for confession 30 minutes before or after Mass or upon request. Our priest has two parishes and he is never able to get to Mass 30 minutes early or stay 30minutes late. We had confession at a revival last week and during Holy Week. Now people get the idea that they don’t HAVE to go to confession atleast once a year or when they fall into mortal sin.

 

[Dorothy]

You merely miscalculated the time needed for the test. No, it was not a sin. Just do the test another time.

 

[jeje831]

Hmmm. Which items don’t appear to go together? Feeling depressed, searching for a priest, trying to watch comedy, eating fruit etc then finding a priest and receiving absolution but it came too late to take the 3 1/2 hour test. I realize from your post that you are young and focus can be difficult but do you think that you did everything that you could to keep your promise? Only you and God know what is in your heart. :idea:

Absolute and all knowing God, Nothing is hidden from Your sight. In the prescience since the beginning, All knowledge existed within You. Kindly share Your knowledge with me, Making me aware of what is meant to be, Permitting my soul to understand it, And wisdom to agree with its outcome. Provide me with the gift of discretion, To prudently apply received knowledge, To ensure the fulfillment of Your Will. Your knowledge shines forth forever!

 

[willofgods]

I seem to be following you on CAF, prodigalson89!

CAF has some answers that might be useful for you to know in general.
Look under the second part, II. DIVISION OF SIN
E. Conditions of Mortal Sin: Knowledge, Free Will, Grave Matter.

The link gave me some difficulty the first time I clicked it, so if it doesn’t work retry once.

CCC 1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

 

[IntegraCatholic]

So I’ve caught myself in another pickle. Let me explain:

Today, I made the intention of completing a practice SAT Test during the day. I told my mother about this yesterday and this morning, I would do it. She did not command me to nor did she really push it.

Prior to a counselor meeting this morning, I fell into mortal sin. Habitual. I spent the next few hours looking for a priest, feeling depressed, trying to watch some comedy, eating fruit, etc. Finally found one and received absolution.

Decided to come home and just do the test as I said I would. Unfortunately, I miscalculated. The practice test will take 3 1/2 hours to complete. I only have 2 (work).

Have I committed mortal sin? Venial sin? I worry that I’ve bound myself up in an obligation of which I’ve made myself a liar.

I do intend on doing the test, it may just have to wait another day.

Even if she had commanded you to do it, you must consider her intention in this. Her intention is that you do it if reasonably possible. If something were to come up to prevent this (the necessity of going to confession, which is infinitely more important than the SAT practice because it has to do with our soul, which will last forever), then you would not be required to do it. Just as if you ask whether you can go to a movie on a Friday night, and your father says that you may not go out that night, he doesn’t mean that you can’t go make a visit to the Blessed Sacrament; he means go out to spend time with friends, etc.

The intention of what is commanded is always more important that what is actually said, and it always assumes things that cannot be mentioned in every case. This is known as the principle of epikeia. That is, it can sometimes be the intention of a law-giver that the actual letter of the law be set aside so that you can follow the spirit of the law. The spirit of doing the SAT practice is to do well on the SAT, which is to get into a good college, which is to get a good education and ultimately a good job to provide for your physical well-being. All of that is dependent upon and is for the purpose of your spiritual well-being and eternal salvation; therefore, that will always take pride of place. If by omitting your SAT practice you were able significantly provide for your physical well-being (I don’t know, by collecting several million dollars), certainly your mother would not intend to bind you in that way if she knew all the circumstances. Does that make sense?

On an note unrelated to your question directly, I highly recommend that you read “Light and Peace” by by R.P. Quadrupani. It is published by TAN, I know, and probably by others. I read it several years ago (probably when I was your age or a little older), and I didn’t get too much from it the first time (mostly because I disagreed with a lot of what he said). I re-read it several years later (when I was in the seminary discerning my vocation), and it was really an eye-opener. It is a wonderful book and will help you look at these and similar questions in a better light. I can only recommend most strenuously that this is the authentic understanding of the moral life that the Church has. It took me several years, but I finally accepted it, and it helped a ton.

 

[baltobetsy]

I realize from your post that you are young and focus can be difficult but do you think that you did everything that you could to keep your promise? Only you and God know what is in your heart.

It’s quite clear that the time could have been used better, but this is not the question. This young man’s problem is scrupulosity, which includes the difficulty of not knowing when he has obligated himself to do something. In this case, he mentioned to his mother, without her asking him, that he planned to take the test. His plans changed and he worries if he has lied to his mother or broken a promise.

She didn’t say, “Prodigalson89, you’re going to take that practice test today, aren’t you?” And then, he didn’t say, “Oh, yes, Mom, I promise you I’ll do it today.”

Scrupulous people often think that every single thing they say must be factually correct or else they are lying. If they make a mistake or miscalculation, or even change their minds, they are tormented about it, thinking they have lied or broken a promise. They need to realize that real lying involves an intent to deceive and that a real promise is much more than telling someone your plans.

Prodigalson89, you did not promise or break a promise, and you did not lie. You need to address the issue of your scrupulosity before it takes over your life. The best thing you can do for yourself is to find a confessor who is skilled at dealing with scrupulosity and go to him exclusively. Whatever he tells you, do it, even if it doesn’t seem right. The rules are different for scrupulous people. Trusting the priest will get you on the road to recovery, and obedience is a sure and safe way of pleasing God.

Betsy

 

[prodigalson89]

Hmmm. Which items don’t appear to go together? Feeling depressed, searching for a priest, trying to watch comedy, eating fruit etc then finding a priest and receiving absolution but it came too late to take the 3 1/2 hour test. I realize from your post that you are young and focus can be difficult but do you think that you did everything that you could to keep your promise? Only you and God know what is in your heart. :idea:

I watched a show, ate fruit to feel better. Sorry, in a state of mortal sin, it’s hard to pray. It’s hard to concentrate and it’s hard to feel motivated. It’s hard to feel positive about anything. I’m dead at that point. So yes, I turn to comedy. No, I did not forget my sin. It is ever before me.

These are not excuses and your point only adds to the anxiety. I KNOW I could spend my time better. Because I don’t, I wonder if I’m sinning, because I don’t make the most of every single moment. I’m better than what I allow myself to be and I feel underdeveloped physically, emotionally, psychologically, professionally, academically, musically, and spiritually. And that is MY fault.

And unfortunately, I often wonder what’s inside of my heart. If anything I say is sincere. Sometimes I think it is. I don’t know, but I try to be honest and I try to be a good person.

More and more do I realize how much of a sinner I am. And more and more do I realize how great God’s mercy is. I could’ve been struck down in the middle of my sin. Or while trying to watch The Simpsons. Instead, he led me to counseling and confession. Today, without appointment.

He is so good to me. Has been before I even knew He was there.

I thank you for your slightly confrontational response. It makes me look at myself. But please know, I’ve been staring at a mirror for a long time. And I rarely like what I see.

But God is good. And I love you and wish the very best for you. And I am happy if you have found a good relationship with God. And with yourself.

 

[prodigalson89]

I apologize for going off. I got excited and defensive. I just need help. Thank you for your responses and prayers. I’m a little more at peace.

 

[Bookcat]

*In general *regarding scruples…

Scruples are to be dismissed.

One must treat scruples like a barking dog or a hissing goose…one does not stop to argue with a barking dog or hissing goose…does one? no …one keeps walking…

(this advice is from a 15th century Carthusian)

 

[puzzleannie]

Have I committed mortal sin? Venial sin? I worry that I’ve bound myself up in an obligation of which I’ve made myself a liar.

I do intend on doing the test, it may just have to wait another day.

you are spending all this time and energy worrying about something that is not even a sin (which you know perfectly well, there is no disobedience, you did not lie to your mother or break a promise) which has distracted you from the real, habitual sin. That is the nature of scruples. Adopt the practice of the daily examen. Each night before bed pray to the Holy Spirit to shed light on you and your day. Review the events of the day. Give thanks for all, joys, sorrows, blessings, disappointments. Forgive all those who hurt you. Make an act of contrition for all your sins and failings. Make a resolution for tomorrow (not the entire future, tomorrow). Pray the Our Father. Sleep in peace. This habit will help you focus on your real problems, and help you get out of the habit of obsessing about imaginary ones. God bless you.

 

[RB2]

So I’ve caught myself in another pickle. Let me explain:

Today, I made the intention of completing a practice SAT Test during the day. I told my mother about this yesterday and this morning, I would do it. She did not command me to nor did she really push it.

Prior to a counselor meeting this morning, I fell into mortal sin. Habitual. I spent the next few hours looking for a priest, feeling depressed, trying to watch some comedy, eating fruit, etc. Finally found one and received absolution.

Decided to come home and just do the test as I said I would. Unfortunately, I miscalculated. The practice test will take 3 1/2 hours to complete. I only have 2 (work).

Have I committed mortal sin? Venial sin? I worry that I’ve bound myself up in an obligation of which I’ve made myself a liar.

I do intend on doing the test, it may just have to wait another day.

Well, it could be worse.
Your parents dont want you to go to Notre Dame do they?