Scrupulously and confession issues

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April29

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Hi everyone!

I’ve struggled with scrupulousity since I was a teenager. It was a terrible problem which eventually lead to to leaving the church simply because of all the anxiety that confession brought me and because I always felt completely overwhelmed and defeated no matter what I did. Either way, I have returned to the church but sobhave mu scruples with confession. When I was younger I dreaded examining my conscience. Grant it I always went over the commandments in my mind as best as I could and asked the priest for help, but I avoided and actual examination of conscience because it just became this never ending sea of sins that I just couldn’t handle. Either way, someone told me that not examining my conscience correctly will invalidate a confession. Now I’m lying here awake afraid out of my mind that all my confessions have been invalid because I was afraid of facing all the thing that would come up when I did sit down with an examination of conscience. I don’t believe I ever tried to leave anything out, but by not examining deeply out of fear of everything that would come up, did I hide any sins? What should I do? Please help
 
You need to talk to an experienced confessor with experience with scrupulosity, probably an older priest. Trust and follow his advice.
 
First off take a breath! We are human and fallibility is well within Gods mercy. Remember this when you ask for forgiveness and are doing your best and ensuring you confess mortal sin specifically, you are absolved of all sins. It’s also why usually at the end you say for these sins and any I have forgotten. God isn’t providing confession to damn you it’s a gift of mercy and he has the power to know your hearts intent. Even if you forgot a mortal sin but went in truly repentant and desiring forgiveness then it’s all ok! It doesn’t hurt to bring it up next time but technically speaking all your sins are forgiven! Take hope! Gods mercy and love are so freely offered and he wants you!
 
You should see a regular confessor for your scruples, if you don’t already.

Yes, you need to do your best to be aware of mortal sins to confess them but as you struggle with scrupulosity it is likely you are fixating on things which aren’t mortal sins. Obviously I don’t know you, but mortal sins in general probably aren’t things that are so hidden to you that you need to examine your every action to be aware of them. Indeed, going overboard like that-- and that is what I experienced when I struggled with this issue (I still do at times)-- will only feed the doubt. This is why it will be good for you to consult a good priest and follow his advice on the matter. He can help you with examining your conscience properly and with discerning what you do and don’t need to confess.

Eliminating all that worry is the real challenge and seeing a regular confessor for advice can go a long way in helping you get that under control. In the meantime, I will pray for you.
Struggling1 said:
Even if you forgot a mortal sin but went in truly repentant and desiring forgiveness then it’s all ok! It doesn’t hurt to bring it up next time but technically speaking all your sins are forgiven
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Technically they [genuine mortal sins] need to be mentioned at the next confession if remembered-- although yes you are correct that the absolution was valid if a best effort to confess all mortal sins was made-- however the issue with scrupulosity is often that mortal sin is seen in light matters or where there was no foreknowledge or insufficient consent, etc. It’s very difficult for a scrupulous person to do an examination of conscience because of that flood of “sins” which when examined leads to a cascade of doubt and fear, which is extremely overwhelming. Good advice otherwise though, it’s particularly important to note that we’re not expected by God to do anything other than our best. As you said, God doesn’t deny His mercy to us just because we’re fallible.
 
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