This is the only thing I noticed that rankles with me and also the only line that contradicts any common feminist view. What should we make of it? That if we find five cartons of porn under his side of the bed we should emulate the women in the magazines and reward and reinforce his addiction? If not, then what does it mean? Reward cheating, staring at other women, what? Reward sexually demanding behavior? Or just be a slave? How could such a strategy ever produce results gratifying to both people? How could such self-erasure make anyone happy?
He reminds me of Dr. Laura too. I don’t know if you can sue for spreading around common sense. For example, a lot of the financial advice people say the same thing too.
I think hysterical is a bit strong. She is not against it…
I liked some of the insights, and agree. But some of the comments were disparaging to women, I think. I also don’t believe that when women started working out of the home, that things declined. There was an underlying tone in that article that as long as a woman keeps ‘her man’ happy, then all will be rosy in one’s marriage. I think it would have been nice to see both sides…not just how to keep a man happy, basically. I have a great marriage, but I was not always a good wife. I freely admit that I was very selfish early on, so some of the points about listening, and setting the tone, and fighting differently, etc are excellent. But, I don’t like some of the other tenets.
I’ll have to get DW to read this after she gets home from work today. haha. Nothing beats the total giving of each other in marriage though.Awww, how about “Ladies”?Oh, and I don’t like when men refer to women as ‘gals.’ We’re women. Not gals.
Other than that, I liked his article.
Ah, but see, the secret is that women have most of the power in determining the quality of the marriage. If you focus on and work really hard at keeping your guy happy, then you will get that total mutual self-giving. Because a guy who is treated really well by his woman will walk over hot coals to treat her really well back. But we women know only too well how to treat a man badly and make him curl up inside his shell. Put him there and he won’t even take good care of himself, much less his woman. The point of advice like this is to get women to see that theirs is the dominant emotional influence, and to use that power for good.
lol–ladies is good. you have been forewarned, gratefuldad.Awww, how about “Ladies”?
I want my husband to communicate with me in the way that meets my needs. In order to “do unto others”, I need to cater my communication style to his–because I wish he would cater his communication style to mine.
)I agree with everything you said.I want my husband to communicate with me in the way that meets my needs. In order to “do unto others”, I need to cater my communication style to his–because I wish he would cater his communication style to mine.
The last part of this article mentions to wives to “talk less and put your main point right out front.” That style is what my husband wants/needs. In order to “doing unto him” what I want (have my communication style respected) I need to meet his needs/wants with a communication style quite different from my own.
(My husband probably could have said what I wrote in about 3-7 words.
Directness in communication doesn’t always make for marital bliss. Directness lacks diplomacy and ignores the subtle nuances of communication and feelings. Both spouses must make efforts to communicate in the way the other wants and needs. I know a great guy who is now going through a divorce he doesn’t want. I think the divorce is largely because he didn’t know how to listen to what his wife was saying and speak to her in a less abrupt manner.
It takes two people to make a happy marriage.
I don’t want to derail the thread discussing my friends’ divorce, but…yes, I share whatevergirls desire to scream. Yet I think there are lessons that we can learn if we try to understand what makes marriages break up because happy marriages don’t break up.
I agree that many women need to hear the advice found in this article and other places. I read the “Proper Care and Feed of Husbands” by Dr. Laura too and several similar books. But marital happiness isn’t all up to women. A nice guy who is treated well might walk over coals to treat his woman well, but sometimes nice guys may not really know how to treat women well. The article in the op only addresses the needs of men and what wives should do for their husband.
)Gardens, I guess their could be nice guys that did not know how to treat their wives, but I can’t say I have ever seen a nice husband not try.But marital happiness isn’t all up to women. A nice guy who is treated well might walk over coals to treat his woman well, but sometimes nice guys may not really know how to treat women well. The article in the op only addresses the needs of men and what wives should do for their husband.
(I edited this post to make a separate point right about the needs of women. Taking the advice in the article, I realized the men who probably needed it the most wouldn’t read a long post.
