Secrets of Marriage for Men

[mlchance]

I’ve written a series of three articles addressing how to be a good husband from a Catholic perspective. I hope you find them enjoyable and perhaps even useful. The first of series is at this link, and there are links to other two at that location.

Have a great day!

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[Irishmom2]

Mark,

Even though I am not a man I still enjoyed what you wrote.

I urge everyone reading this to check out the Secrets. Either you will learn something, or you will find that you are already in agreement with what he says. Definitely worth a read.

May God bless you and guide you.

 

[mlchance]

Mark,

Even though I am not a man I still enjoyed what you wrote.

Thanks! I’ve gotten more positive feedback from women than from men, which leads me to believe that I’m on the right track.

– Mark L. Chance.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Thanks! I’ve gotten more positive feedback from women than from men, which leads me to believe that I’m on the right track.

– Mark L. Chance.

Maybe that’s because some of the good guys who would give you positive feedback don’t have as much time to read as their wives do. My husband often depends on me to briefly summarize the good parts of what I read. Your whole series is “the good part.”

I love how you opened with disclaimers. I like your use of humor and witt. And references to The Princess Bride always appeal to me.

"So here’s the Big Reveal: If my needs aren’t getting met, odds are really, really good that I’m not meeting the needs of others. " Great observation.

Somewhere in there you wrote about families spitting into the wind and ending up with faces full of saliva. Great use of yucky imagery.

I really liked the whole series and enjoy your writing style. I want to add next a comment of about something that you barely touched on.

Since I read the disclaimer, I realize you only wrote about your own marriage from your own perspective. You likely don’t have much experience with the thing I want to mention. You barely touched on this point, but in part III you wrote: “Loving someone enough to take responsibility for the good of their entire person can be a daunting task. It sometimes involves unpleasant activities, such as gentle criticism.”–Perhaps you are the only one in your marriage that ever needs gentle cricism while your lovely and beautiful Katrina doesn’t. But for the really nice guys who aren’t so fortunate, (and who might already be doing everything you wrote), they might need the reminder that sometimes wives need gentle and loving criticism for the good of our souls too. I don’t think Mr. Chance went into any detail about that, (which might be why the ladies like his article.) Key word: gentle. Another key word: need. Not gruff comments after a hard day about some little imperfection, but gentle reminders (perhaps on a really good day) to carefully bring up areas where deadly sins may be creeping in and taking over. I just wanted to mention that because some “nice guys” fail to correct some seriously sinful behaviors in their wives.

 

[mlchance]

Thanks for the kinds words!

Now, on to something you brought up:

…sometimes wives need gentle and loving criticism for the good of our souls too. I don’t think Mr. Chance went into any detail about that, (which might be why the ladies like his article.) Key word: gentle. Another key word: need. Not gruff comments after a hard day about some little imperfection, but gentle reminders (perhaps on a really good day) to carefully bring up areas where deadly sins may be creeping in and taking over. I just wanted to mention that because some “nice guys” fail to correct some seriously sinful behaviors in their wives.

Excellent observation. I’ll go one step farther and say that my primary function as husband is to assist my wife’s sanctification so that she can get into Heaven. To quote the Apostle Paul (Ephesians 5:25-27): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

Perhaps after I get finished discussing the moral education of children, I can return to this topic. We’ll see. Of course, I also need to get cracking on my religion and politics articles. Busy, busy.



– Mark L. Chance.

 

[rapunzel77]

Very good points Mark. I do agree that the wife must do some of the same things in order for the marriage to work. Its not all one way. I must think about my husband’s needs and the needs of the family. In turn, he tries to fulfill my needs. We work together. That is the only way for a marriage to work is if it is build on love, faith, and friendship .