Secular Job

[Madaglan]

I’m not sure if this is the best place to put this, but it concerns vocation to a certain degree, so I’m going to see what people here think.

I graduated with a B.A. several years ago, and an M.A. about two years ago, both in the arts. At the time, I thought about going on for a doctoral degree, but I had to pay back student loans. I found a job teaching at a Catholic high school. I thought I’d teach there several years, pay off some of my loans, and wedge my way into a doctoral program with some teaching experience.

However, the teaching thing did not work out. I loved what I taught, and students thought I was a good teacher, but it was very difficult for me, especially in dealing with adolescents without experience. I got the distinct impression that it was not for me. I also talked with some people about doctoral programs (with teaching college in mind) but sadly learned that the job market for professorships is extremely competitive and pays little. Being responsible-minded, I decided to hold off and just find a job to pay off bills.

So, I’m back home, now in my mid-20’s (I’m single btw). I’m working at a local bank as a teller. It’s all new to me. The people with whom I work are cooperative. But I’m just trying to discern where to go next. I’m only part-time right now. I see it as a job, I do the best I can, but to be honest, I’m hoping to work into an office position in the future (at bank HQ, perhaps).

I guess I’m discerning the whole financial sector move. I never really saw myself going in this direction towards finance. I feel a little bewildered, and a little frustrated that things haven’t fallen into place. I feel that I’m moving from something in which I’m really passionate about (in the virtuous sense) to something that I am more or less indifferent–although I still do the best I can on the job.

Should I pursue what I think would be fulfilling?
Or, should I settle with “a job”?

I’m thinking more medium to long-term (i.e. 4+ years)

 

[3Sanctus]

Don’t be too worried about “feeling stuck” in a job, so to speak. I graduated with a degree in philosophy and religious studies last month and am still working at a hotel as a front desk clerk/“Guest Services Representative.” I feel kinda useless and it bothers me, but I try to remember it takes all types and we never know the path God will take us on to find His goal for us.

To help that make a little more sense: I’ve been personally discerning a monastic vocation since before I entered the Church and have been all sorts of disgruntled with myself and haven’t trusted the Lord enough with my progress, instead feeling like I’m not good enough for the world.

If you feel called to teach on the college level, then go for it! You may be stuck as an adjunct for a while, or you may finish your Ph.D. and end up someplace you never imagined (I was planning on going to graduate school before this whole economic mess made it impossible to get a loan). Follow Him and all will resolve itself. Don’t worry about the way things seem, if you trust in Him He will take care of all the problems for you and your way will be paved for you - though it may be a rough, rocky road.

In Christ and through the prayers of His Holy Mother.
Stephen

 

[barb_finnegan]

I’m older than the OP-mid 50s.

I’m not working right now–my last job was a temp receptionist which ended last August. But I never felt I ‘fit’ in the secular job environment.

When I was in my mid-teens to early-twenties, I thought of religious life (the Carmelites). But nothing ever came of it. Then I was two Third Orders (the Franciscans, and then the Carmelites), but they never worked out.

I’m trying not to be a complainer or a ‘whiner’ (would you like some cheese with that ‘whine’ ? ). I’m just ‘disappointed’ in the way my life has turned out.

I really don’t like the secular work world-I’ve often wondered why God put me here in this mortal life. I feel ‘useless’ because I’m not the ‘gung-ho leader-’ or ‘super-organizer’-type. I don;t really know what I’m good at, anyway…I’ve been a ‘failure’ in whatever I’ve attempted to do.

Sigh…

 

[3Sanctus]

Barb, there is no room in Christ for despair. I know the feeling of uselessness and, while I’m hoping to combat that in a “real” way, I’ve finally come to terms with it by offering my life up to Christ and realizing I’m never going to be anything great, but by being a slave to His love and to His Blessed Virgin Mother I can be an instrument of His Will.

I know it’s hard at times to find inspiration in religious reasoning for accepting what we’ve been handed in life, but it’s really all we have as mortal beings. None of us are anything special in-and-of ourselves, but having been created in the Image of God and with the additional gift of Baptism we have been brought into a state of being - relative to the Almighty - that glorifies Him through our fallen nature. In fact, often times our very sinfulness and seeming worthlessness is precisely how we must praise Him, according to His Will.

We can ask for Him to take this cup from us, to allow it to pass from us; however, in the end, we are called to say with loving and open hearts, “but let Your Will, not mine, be done.”

May the Love of Christ and the Hope inspired by His Sacrifice for us empower you all the days of your life.
Stephen

 

[barb_finnegan]

Barb, there is no room in Christ for despair. I know the feeling of uselessness and, while I’m hoping to combat that in a “real” way, I’ve finally come to terms with it by offering my life up to Christ and realizing I’m never going to be anything great, but by being a slave to His love and to His Blessed Virgin Mother I can be an instrument of His Will.

I know it’s hard at times to find inspiration in religious reasoning for accepting what we’ve been handed in life, but it’s really all we have as mortal beings. None of us are anything special in-and-of ourselves, but having been created in the Image of God and with the additional gift of Baptism we have been brought into a state of being - relative to the Almighty - that glorifies Him through our fallen nature. In fact, often times our very sinfulness and seeming worthlessness is precisely how we must praise Him, according to His Will.

We can ask for Him to take this cup from us, to allow it to pass from us; however, in the end, we are called to say with loving and open hearts, “but let Your Will, not mine, be done.”

May the Love of Christ and the Hope inspired by His Sacrifice for us empower you all the days of your life.
Stephen

Thanks for the ‘encouragement’ Stephen…
I know that I shouldn’t despair…but it looks like nothing will ever change for the good in my life. There are no jobs out there that you can ‘survive’ on, especially if one has no family [spouse/children]. I’m just not good at anything! Nobody will look at a ‘fifty-something’-if they hire anyone at all, the ‘young and the firm’ will get the job!

It’s the same in the Church with regards to vocations-no ‘over-35’s need apply’! All we’re good for is doing the ‘grunt/menial’ work!

What’s the sense in ‘living’ anyway?

*

 

[Kathgirl]

Barb,
I hear yr despair. God will surprise you when you least expect it. Hang in there and take baby steps of obedience and perseverance and I promise you won’t be disappointed. Ours is an awesome God who has reasons for everything.
Never give up. God is not capable of creating anything ugly or useless.
Katherine

 

[ReginaCoeli]

Thanks for the ‘encouragement’ Stephen…
I know that I shouldn’t despair…but it looks like nothing will ever change for the good in my life. There are no jobs out there that you can ‘survive’ on, especially if one has no family [spouse/children]. I’m just not good at anything! Nobody will look at a ‘fifty-something’-if they hire anyone at all, the ‘young and the firm’ will get the job!

It’s the same in the Church with regards to vocations-no ‘over-35’s need apply’! All we’re good for is doing the ‘grunt/menial’ work!

What’s the sense in ‘living’ anyway?

*

Barb, the sense of living is to touch others in a Christ-like manner. You have no idea the ways in which you touch others. Just living your day to day existence in a virtuous manner will witness to others. One piece of advice, and trust me I mean this in the kindest way, is maybe you should get out of “yourself” a little bit. You can do this by volunteering with those less fortunate, such as a homeless shelter, veteran’s home, abused women’s shelter, work in your parish, St. Vincent DePaul, etc. When we are looking outside instead of inside, it gets us away from the despairing feelings. Also, you’ll feel a sense of purpose. You have something to offer. We all do. Do you know about St. Terese’s “Little Way”? It’s finding holiness in the little, menial, day to day ways of living. Look for ways to touch others in a positive way. I will pray for you. God Bless You.

 

[ReginaCoeli]

Barb, just one more thing. If you are truly interested in religious life, there are many, many orders out there that will consider late vocations. I may be a late vocation myself. If you go to “consecrated life.com” they have a listing for orders that accept women over 45. I’m 39, but I won’t be free to enter until I am probably 43 or 44, and I have had contact with many orders who are perfectly ok with my age. If I am not mistaken, the Visitation order was created for older women (widows specifically, I think). Anyway, the point is, there are opportunities available in religious life for older women. I personally know a sister who entered a Redemptoristine monastery at age 52. So please have hope. God be with you.

 

[barb_finnegan]

Barb, the sense of living is to touch others in a Christ-like manner. You have no idea the ways in which you touch others. Just living your day to day existence in a virtuous manner will witness to others. One piece of advice, and trust me I mean this in the kindest way, is maybe you should get out of “yourself” a little bit. You can do this by volunteering with those less fortunate, such as a homeless shelter, veteran’s home, abused women’s shelter, work in your parish, St. Vincent DePaul, etc. When we are looking outside instead of inside, it gets us away from the despairing feelings. Also, you’ll feel a sense of purpose. You have something to offer. We all do. Do you know about St. Terese’s “Little Way”? It’s finding holiness in the little, menial, day to day ways of living. Look for ways to touch others in a positive way. I will pray for you. God Bless You.

Thanks Regina Coeli, for your kind words.

As for ‘volunteering’-well, I’m not really the ‘volunteer’ type. I never was. I don’t have a parish to be part of. For Mass on Sunday I go to a Latin Mass chapel. There is no ‘parish life’ because the priests come from outside the area to hear confessions and say Mass, then they are on their way. They don’t stick around.

The activities you suggested would make me very depressed. When my father was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease in 1985, he was in a nursing home for two months. We took care of him at home, and this was done to give my mother a rest from caregiving. [needless to say, it was a ‘hell’ for her] I only went to see him twice, because the place made me very sad-seeing people who used to be so vital and alive, now just ‘shells’. It made me think of my own mortality. I hated being in that place!

I am not the ‘organizing’ type, either.

Yes, I know about St. Therese’s ‘Little Way’-I knew about it even before my six-year stint in the Lay Discalced Carmelites.

I’m alone most of the time- by choice. I’ve always been kind of a ‘loner’ at heart. I feel that nobody really wants me around, in spite of my good intentions. I don’t want to come across as a pathetically ‘needy’ person. If people don’t want me around, that’s fine with me! I’ve learned to live with it-I don’t even see much of my own family either. They’re hell-bent on selling our family home-where I still live-and so I avoid being in contact with them as much as I can. My older sister ‘roughed me up’ last October, so I want no contact with her.

 

[barb_finnegan]

Barb, just one more thing. If you are truly interested in religious life, there are many, many orders out there that will consider late vocations. I may be a late vocation myself. If you go to “consecrated life.com” they have a listing for orders that accept women over 45. I’m 39, but I won’t be free to enter until I am probably 43 or 44, and I have had contact with many orders who are perfectly ok with my age. If I am not mistaken, the Visitation order was created for older women (widows specifically, I think). Anyway, the point is, there are opportunities available in religious life for older women. I personally know a sister who entered a Redemptoristine monastery at age 52. So please have hope. God be with you.

I thought of being in religious life-from 15 to 23 years old I thought of being in the Discalced Carmelite nuns. But they turned me down.

I did make a retreat to the Visitation Order in Philly in 1998. I was there for five days, and all the Sisters were very kind to me.

But since then, I had a brush with cancer (2006) and I have $18,000 worth of medical bills I can’t pay (no health insurance). I’ve also defaulted on a credit card (2002) and had my previous car repossessed because I couldn’t keep up with the payments. The temporary job I had reduced my hours-and my salary. I have a car now that I paid in cash-so, no payments.

No religious community will look at a woman with that kind of credit history! I have too much debt that I can’t pay back, unless I drain my IRA!

And my health’s not too hot either. Besides the cancer, I have some arthritis and problems with my back. I can’t do a lot of heavy manual labor.