Secular music at a funeral Mass

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THurifer2

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I am an acolyte who served at a Mass for a 4 month old infant today…(yes is was very sad as the baby was healthy before death)…There were 3 secular songs played on the sound system…all were sad country songs…I am a traditionalist who would normally have an abosolute COW if this happened during a regular funeral Mass. HOWEVER although I didn’t agree with the songs I thought to my self if I were a priest I would not have objected to them…I don’t know my reasons why outside of the fact that the family involved was ABSOLUTELY HUGE…they took up at least 200 seats in the resereved pews…95% of the people in the congregation were protestants…there were about 40 people out of 400 that recieved communion…with this in mind our choir did an amazing job and I am confident that beisides the secular garth brooks most of the people present were in AWE of the pagentry of a good (outside of the taped music) funeral…I cannot believe I am saying this but the priest (who is very orthodox) did a good job allowing these songs at the funeral…😊
 
THurifer2 said:
I am an acolyte who served at a Mass for a 4 month old infant today…(yes is was very sad as the baby was healthy before death)…There were 3 secular songs played on the sound system…all were sad country songs…I am a traditionalist who would normally have an abosolute COW if this happened during a regular funeral Mass. HOWEVER although I didn’t agree with the songs I thought to my self if I were a priest I would not have objected to them…I don’t know my reasons why outside of the fact that the family involved was ABSOLUTELY HUGE…they took up at least 200 seats in the resereved pews…95% of the people in the congregation were protestants…there were about 40 people out of 400 that recieved communion…with this in mind our choir did an amazing job and I am confident that beisides the secular garth brooks most of the people present were in AWE of the pagentry of a good (outside of the taped music) funeral…I cannot believe I am saying this but the priest (who is very orthodox) did a good job allowing these songs at the funeral…😊
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I’m sorry but the priest should not have allowed the songs at a Catholic liturgy, within Mass or not. If the family and friends were 95% Protestant then the funeral could have been held at a protestant church. Nothing against Garth Brooks I like most of his music, but not at a Catholic liturgy.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
I’m sorry but the priest should not have allowed the songs at a Catholic liturgy, within Mass or not. If the family and friends were 95% Protestant then the funeral could have been held at a protestant church. Nothing against Garth Brooks I like most of his music, but not at a Catholic liturgy.
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I respect and understand and VALUE your opinoin but I must admit that the parents of the child were Catholic and the rest of the bunch had never darkened the door a a church so a protesant funeral was out of the question…I was kinda taken back by the secular music…but Brother RIch…you should have seen the Mothers face…I will never forget it as long as I live.

Oh and why would a the congregation determine the location of the funeral???..The child was baptized a Catholic.

I Consider myself as a Faithful yet struggling Catholic…If 90% of the people at my funeral were protestant I still would expect my Funeral to take place at A Catholic Church with a Mass…Isn’t the Mass determined by religious orientation of the deceased?
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
…If the family and friends were 95% Protestant then the funeral could have been held at a protestant church…
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I have to disagree with you here, brother. A deceased Catholic has the right to a Catholic funeral even if he has zero Catholic family and friends. That being said, all music at Catholic funerals should respect Catholic liturgical norms.
 
THurifer2 said:
I respect and understand and VALUE your opinoin but I must admit that the parents of the child were Catholic and the rest of the bunch had never darkened the door a a church so a protesant funeral was out of the question…I was kinda taken back by the secular music…but Brother RIch…you should have seen the Mothers face…I will never forget it as long as I live.

Oh and why would a the congregation determine the location of the funeral???..The child was baptized a Catholic.

I Consider myself as a Faithful yet struggling Catholic…If 90% of the people at my funeral were protestant I still would expect my Funeral to take place at A Catholic Church with a Mass…Isn’t the Mass determined by religious orientation of the deceased?
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I’m not saying that the congregation should determine the location of the funeral. I’m saying if you want it in a Catholic Church follow the Catholic liturgical norms. I know everyone will throw grapes at me for that.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
I’m not saying that the congregation should determine the location of the funeral. I’m saying if you want it in a Catholic Church follow the Catholic liturgical norms. I know everyone will throw grapes at me for that.
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I won’t - I happen to agree with you. I feel that the norms of the Mass have to be upheld regardless of what “feels good” to the parents or anyone else. That being said, if they feel so strongly that these songs be a part of this very sad day for them, perhaps they could have been played at the luncheon afterward or at some other more appropriate time. Secular music, no matter how personal or fitting, does not belong in the Mass. That is not open to discussion or option.

~Liza
 
THurifer2 said:
I am an acolyte who served at a Mass for a 4 month old infant today…(yes is was very sad as the baby was healthy before death)…There were 3 secular songs played on the sound system…all were sad country songs…I am a traditionalist who would normally have an abosolute COW if this happened during a regular funeral Mass. HOWEVER although I didn’t agree with the songs I thought to my self if I were a priest I would not have objected to them…I don’t know my reasons why outside of the fact that the family involved was ABSOLUTELY HUGE…they took up at least 200 seats in the resereved pews…95% of the people in the congregation were protestants…there were about 40 people out of 400 that recieved communion…with this in mind our choir did an amazing job and I am confident that beisides the secular garth brooks most of the people present were in AWE of the pagentry of a good (outside of the taped music) funeral…I cannot believe I am saying this but the priest (who is very orthodox) did a good job allowing these songs at the funeral…😊
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THurifer:
Since I have had a few convos with you before, and am well aware of your orthodoxy, I can appreciate what you are talking about. Whether or not the songs were appropriate at this funeral mass is at this point, moot.
I am glad that you were moved by the funeral. I know that children’s funerals can often be… exhausting.
Thank you for sharing with us something that was beautiful and moving during such a dark and trying time for the family.
 
The mass is an established liturgy and should follow the norms.

Favorite songs, reminiscences, etc all belong at the wake.
 
THurifer2 said:
I respect and understand and VALUE your opinoin but I must admit that the parents of the child were Catholic and the rest of the bunch had never darkened the door a a church so a protesant funeral was out of the question…I was kinda taken back by the secular music…but Brother RIch…you should have seen the Mothers face…I will never forget it as long as I live.

Oh and why would a the congregation determine the location of the funeral???..The child was baptized a Catholic.

I Consider myself as a Faithful yet struggling Catholic…If 90% of the people at my funeral were protestant I still would expect my Funeral to take place at A Catholic Church with a Mass…Isn’t the Mass determined by religious orientation of the deceased?
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When my mother died, my aunts played “The Dance” at the funeral home, after the Vigil of the Deceased (Rosary) had ended. My dad also had “You Belong to My Heart” played immediately after and he went to the casket to hold my mother’s hand for the duration of the song.

During the Mass, however, the hymns were liturgically correct and appropriate (by the way, no St. Lous Jesuits). The Mass calls for specific, sacred Music. Secular songs are prohibited. One musician who gets hired for funerals likes to play “Heaven Must Have Needed an Angel” (complete with crying on cue–does it at nearly every funeral I’ve been to where he sings). A celebrant told him that he needed to stop singing that song because we don’t become angels when we die and it’s not even a liturgical hymn.

I’m not trying to be insensitive; however, if the family wants secular music, it should be done at the funeral home after the Vigil of the Deceased has ended.
 
As they are carrying my mortal remains from the church, I want Aaron Copeland’s “Fanfare for a Common Man” to be played. As Mass will be over anyway the liturgists can keep their hands off.

Matthew
 
drafdog said:
As they are carrying my mortal remains from the church, I want Aaron Copeland’s “Fanfare for a Common Man” to be played. As Mass will be over anyway the liturgists can keep their hands off.

Matthew
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😉 I want the Metallica version of the Imperial March. 😉
 
I realize this conversation is rather old, but I know some secular music is allowed at mass depending on its content. I would love to use a song by the Beatles (I know the Beatles!?!?). But I love their song “Let It Be”. And then one day I realized the whole meaning of the song. Mary is telling us to let it be, just as she said let it be at the Annunciation. I find a lot of comfort & inspiration in this song when I am troubled & would love to be able to use it at my funeral mass. Any idea if this song is acceptable?
 
richlane said:
I realize this conversation is rather old, but I know some secular music is allowed at mass depending on its content. I would love to use a song by the Beatles (I know the Beatles!?!?). But I love their song “Let It Be”. And then one day I realized the whole meaning of the song. Mary is telling us to let it be, just as she said let it be at the Annunciation. I find a lot of comfort & inspiration in this song when I am troubled & would love to be able to use it at my funeral mass. Any idea if this song is acceptable?
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A lot of people here are going to tell you “no”. However, I remember back in the '70’s, we sung it in church a few times.

Perhaps your best bet is to ask your priest if it would be OK - then make sure you tell the person who would most likely be responsible for planning your funeral. Better yet - put it in writing!

(and P.S. - I’ve often thought of requesting the Overture to the Grand Canyon Suite be played at my funeral. If by any chance I’m not quite dead, that would get me up! 😉 )
 
Something to remember–it’s not the child’s (or anyone’s) funeral.

It’s the CHURCH’S funeral service, and it’s being bestowed on the departed.
 
we have a priest in a nearby parish where there are several retirement parks, and he is noted for playing “happy trails” after every funeral for a Winter Texan. After, not during. he is the same priest whose dog goes with him everywhere, even Mass, whose black nose can be seen peeping from the sacristy if you are sitting in the corner.
 
I used to sing funerals with an organist who could work any (and I do mean ANY) tune into a reverent-sounding organ improvisation so subtly that you would not notice it unless you were looking out for it. When we had a memorial Mass (when the burial had already taken place), he’d play a bit of “I Ain’t Got No Body,” and when there were ashes from a cremation, it would be “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes.” He would do that when a family requested an innapropriate secular tune for the funeral as well. And if we were working together on my birthday, he’d do “Happy Birthday” in the style of any composer I chose.

On a related subject, we did weddings together also. Once when the bride was really, really late, he improvised on “Get Me To the Church On Time!”

Betsy
 
bpbasilphx said:
Something to remember–it’s not the child’s (or anyone’s) funeral.

It’s the CHURCH’S funeral service, and it’s being bestowed on the departed.
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Sure, and that’s easy enough to say here. But a priest who’s dealing with a grieving, weeping, emotional family who begs him to please let them play this one song that their child loves so much, may well give in for pastoral reasons. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, would you?
 
theistgal said:
Sure, and that’s easy enough to say here. But a priest who’s dealing with a grieving, weeping, emotional family who begs him to please let them play this one song that their child loves so much, may well give in for pastoral reasons. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, would you?
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Actually, my parochial vicar, when he served as our cathedral’s first rector, had to gently, but, firmly, put his foot down on funeral music. He explained that the Church has certain requirements. Whatever secular music the family wanted could be played after the Vigil/Rosary, but, not in Church and certainly not during the Mass.

The same guidelines held true for weddings.
 
dconklin said:
What were the offending songs?
Now playing: Aaron Shust - Long Like the King
via FoxyTunes
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Because the OP cannot respond, I would hazard a guess that one of them could have been Garht Brooks’ “The Dance” or “How Can I Help You to Say Goodbye” which I think is by Patty Loveless.

Both are pretty songs, but, they aren’t appropriate for the Holy Sacrifice.

In my PV’s case, one was “Heaven Must Have Needed an Angel”. For a wedding, he pretty much stopped the Mariachi group when they played “Spanish Eyes” during the presentation of the gifts. :eek:
 
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