Seeing a child walking away from Communion with host

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Before continuing, as a norm I keep my head down. I try to mind myself and the mass. That’s not to say I don’t notice things, but I chastize myself when I do.

On the walk back to my seat after receiving, I noticed a ten year old boy hopping up and down in the pew with an uneaten host in my hand.

What’s the proper way to handle this? I obviously wasn’t going to tackle the kid, or even confront him over it. That’s not my job. If it was an adult, I would have ignored it, and maybe have asked the priest later the appropriate response we should have. (Probably mind our own business, at least for the laity). I nearly opted for that, but it occurred to me that I could just tell his parents what I saw. Not tell them they must do anything about it, just let them know. After mass, I approached the mother, mentioned it, and left it at that.

I’m not a parent myself, but I think that’s want I’d want if it happened with my kid, but still… Did I overstep? What would you do if you saw? How would you feel as a parent if someone told you this about your child?

I feel social anxiety even approaching people, so doubts I feel in the moment I often attribute to that, but still not 100% sure if that was the right call or not.

Thanks.
 
Let the priest know and encourage him to have ushers stand guard.

That said, I know an mildly autistic girl (who looks utterly normal) who has trouble walking and chewing at the same time. She will choke. So she carries the host and doesn’t consume it until she sits down. The priest knows full well. He’s offered to bring it to her, but she said she would feel embarrassed. She’s a bit older than that boy–about 13 or 14. But you do never know.
 
It sounds like you handled that very well. You definitely did not overstep. The parents should be the ones to reproach their son and the fact that you brought it to their attention was a charitable assumption on your part that they were unaware of what was happening. Especially if you were able to talk the the mother with kindness and gentleness, I can’t think of a better response (although I don’t think you would have been out of bounds to say something to the kid - it takes a village, after all).

At some point you might also consider mentioning the incident to the pastor so he is aware and can decide whether to highlight proper reception of communion to the parish during a homily or in a bulletin. A few years ago, there were several instances when our priest found desecrated hosts under the pews after Mass and I know he took it very seriously (making personal acts of oblation and mentioning it several times in homilies).
 
I don’t think you overstepped your bounds. I think I would also say something to the pastor. Just let him know what you saw and there’s any action that must be taken, he’ll take it.

I do wonder though… if you saw this young boy doing this, why didn’t the parents?
 
I was really lucky. I was sitting in church near the front, and saw how my priest handled it when it happened in the communion line. Someone started walking off without consuming the host, and the priest said, “Excuse me. You must eat it.” Or something like that.

About a week later, I was sitting near the front, and I saw a 9 year old kid (fourth grade? fifth grade?) accept the host, and then walk off without putting it in his mouth. I was able to walk to the end of my pew and intercept him. “Eat it,” I said. They did. I wasn’t trying to embarrass him, and I wasn’t trying to make a scene— it was just a very direct order, in a quiet voice, with stern eye contact.

Afterwards, I chatted with the mom a little. “If they haven’t had communion yet, they shouldn’t be in the line,” I said. “He’s had communion, but he started feeling a little sick when he got in line, so he didn’t eat it.” “It’s a respect thing,” I said. I kept the tone very light and apologetic for having called her kid on a mistake-- I didn’t want to be accusatory, but I wanted to encourage them to do the right thing in the future and let them know that’s not acceptable. English wasn’t their first language, and I didn’t want to get into theological details, but I figured if we were going to have a 10-second conversation, the idea of respect vs. disrespect was punchy enough to get the point across.
 
DeniseNY said:
I do wonder though… if you saw this young boy doing this, why didn’t the parents?
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:roll_eyes: Because the kid is 10, not 2, and parents may have thought by that age they could focus on their own reception of the Eucharist and not little Johnny doing something naughty behind their back.
 
That happened once with a new friend of mines’ son. I told her while it was happening. I don’t think she minded at all. I think she wanted to know.
 
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Hope1960 said:
That happened once with a new friend of mines’ son. I told her while it was happening. I don’t think she minded at all. I think she wanted to know.
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Yes, I’d want to know as a parent! My eyes cannot be everywhere, even when I’m 100% watching my toddler all Mass. It was only a few weeks ago that she twisted from my arms, flipped over like an expert gymnast and nearly careened into the deacon with the cup within 30 seconds of me receiving the Eucharist, so she could greet him, I’m guessing 🤬 The child needs an exorcism sometimes, I swear. (Conversely, she’s just a quick toddler too fast for poor ole Mommy)

Kids…and if you have more than one–forget it. 😉

Please do help parents. We’re only human and we do appreciate it.
 
I think if some person takes the host and they take it back to their seat and don’t eat if fairly immediately, it warrants interrupting the mass. It’s a very big deal. It’s the Eucharist. I would make sure it got handled fairly immediately.
 
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So focused that they don’t notice him hopping up and down on the pew?
 
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If you take communion on the tongue this would cut down on such happenings. But I suppose a child could just spit it out later in the pew. Do they not teach children the proper way to take communion during the first communion anymore?

Mind you I’m not starting the tongue/hand communion argument again, just making an observation (running and hiding now). 😛
 
He wasn’t standing on the bench. I think he was last to receive in the family, coming in behind them on their way back to their seats. They had a younger daughter and infant, too. They were passing in front of others already sitting down, extended family maybe, and he was… I don’t know, bouncing a bit in his step talking to someone at the entrance of the bench before proceeding to the other end where his family sat. I wanted to keep the explanation simple, as it doesn’t really change my end of the scenario. Suffice it to say my eye was drawn to him by the way he was acting, and I saw the host clearly in his hand, and I kept an eye on him as I made my way back to my seat, curious if he’d eat it, and not sure if it was up to me to do anything or to pay attention to him, but didn’t see him put it in his mouth. He may have eaten it at some point after, but I still thought I’d let his mother know so she could at least have a teaching moment.

Writing this out makes me feel like a busybody. If I see things I wouldn’t do, I try to look away and just think about the mass itself, but in this case it’s the Blessed Sacrament we’re talking about, yes?
 
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Ok, I see. I misinterpreted the OP. I took it to mean they were all back in the pew and he was jumping up and down.
 
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I was about to say, the OP said nothing about the pew and I see he clarified to that same extent. The boy was acting up, but sometimes parents don’t see everything.
 
He actually did in the first post. It reads “hopping up and down in the pew”.
 
:roll_eyes:

I can roll my eyes, too.

I took “in” to be a typo for “on”, just as there was a typo where “my hand” was said.

But I’m out of this convo. Not worth the time on a lovely Sunday evening.
 
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DeniseNY said:
:roll_eyes:

I can roll my eyes, too.

I took “in” to be a typo for “on”, just as there was a typo where “my hand” was said.

But I’m out of this convo. Not worth the time on a lovely Sunday evening.
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I tend to read things as they are written–because, you know, that’s all I have to go on. It’s been clarified, the little boy was being a little boy and his parents were pre-occupied with an infant. Give them a break. The OP acted appropriately.
 
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