Seeking advice - A friend has stopped going to Mass

[alitaptap]

A friend comes to you and says she has stopped going to Mass at her parish because she doesn’t get anything out of it.” What would you tell her to help her see that she’s looking at it from the wrong angle? It is not what we get out of it” but rather “what we put into it.” Is there anything concrete that you or your classmates can “put into” your parish liturgies to make them more meaningful for you and others in the community? (It might be an interesting challenge to take those recommendations to your parish council or parish priest and request how you might help implement them.)

 

[japhy]

A friend comes to you and says she has stopped going to Mass at her parish because she doesn’t get anything out of it.”

Mass is, first and foremost, about rendering due worship to God out of love for Him. If she isn’t “getting anything” out of Mass, it is likely (as you said) that she isn’t putting much into Mass. This could be for any number of reasons. I think the first approach really has to be explaining the Mass to her in ways she might never have heard it explained.

The Mass is a participation in the heavenly liturgy. When we sing “Glory to God…”, we are echoing the words of the angels at the birth of Christ. When we sing “Holy, Holy, Holy”, we are singing the words which the angels sing eternally in Heaven before the throne of God.

The Mass is the “corporate” worship of God by the Church. By “corporate”, I mean “bodily”. (Latin corpus = body.) The Mass is how the Church, as the Body of Christ, comes together under her Head, Who is Christ, to worship the Father in the Holy Spirit. Every member of the Body is important, and no member of the Body can truly live apart from the Body. Although every member can do things on its own, it belongs with the rest of the members. (This is one reason why we are obliged to attend Mass.)

The Mass is the wedding celebration of Christ and His Bride, the Church. This wedding is portrayed for us in the book of Revelation: “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” (Rev 19:9) Those words – well, words very close to them! – are said at Mass right before we receive Holy Communion. The Mass is an act of love: the Divine Husband offers Himself completely for His Bride, and she in turn offers herself to Him. (cf. Eph 5:25-27)

If she’s not “getting anything” out of Mass, perhaps she thinks of the Mass as simply a vehicle for giving her something, where she is merely receptive. But the Mass truly requires something of us.

 

[stormy99]

Going to Mass for me involves participation with all my senses, soul and body. It’s there for me to take with me as I leave the love of Christ. I am a convert and I take this seriously…before Mass I ask that my mind and heart be open to the words I will hear…and that I take them with me as I leave.

To get something out of the Mass, you need to give yourself to it…

stormy

 

[TLDenmark]

Maybe you should try to hear her side of the story, by asking her what she expects from the mass. Only then can you try to gently and enthusiastically offer her another perspective.

God bless
TL

 

[Moscati]

Another idea is that perhaps she is expecting Mass to fill a need for fellowship, or Bible study, or worship music, or something else along those lines. That is not what the Mass is for (and others have explained that better than I could). But, there’s no reason why your friend couldn’t start another parish group that would fill that need for her.

As far as “putting things into the liturgy” . . . we don’t do that. (At least, we’re not supposed to!) But we can make the things that happen during the liturgy more personally meaningful for us by getting more involved. I know many people who typically felt pretty ho-hum about Mass got a lot more interested (especially during Lent) after they joined the RCIA team, for example. I found myself a lot more attached to the Mass when I was singing in the choir, too.