Those feelings of knowing somehow elude definition. For example, when we do believe it’s the right person but then it turns out it wasn’t, we will just say it wasn’t the right feeling. We won’t really say it’s just how it is with such feelings. And if we actually marry that person and stick with him, then we say the feeling was right and we knew from the beginning. This doesn’t actually mean the feelings are a poor indicator or something, nope. Nor does it make them false. It’s just it’s hard to get a grasp of how it really works.
In my case, there has been more than one girl I’ve ever imagined a future with, also more than one I’ve talked about it with. Sometimes my female friends would play the “who gets to change the name” joke on me, which means they were at least getting some vibe of that kind (I don’t believe in accidents so much), but not really that much since we’re still friends. This breeds the question: is it a matter of quality or intensity merely? I can’t really answer.
I know, however, that with the last girl, I was really getting the feeling she was the last one, the true one and whatnot, and I can’t get rid of that feeling even now, several months after the break-up. The situation is hopeless since she’s broken up with me, she doesn’t know if she’ll ever want to have children, she says she doesn’t love me, doesn’t want to meet me either. And I’m not trying to revive anything since I can’t marry her validly in these circumstances, so I shouldn’t make any moves on her. But the feeling, persists, as I said. Says something about feelings.
Theoretically, if you were to push a good lot of dopamine through a brain, it should associate the happiness impulse with the event or the person, also touching the gonadotropines the right way, securing the sexual (in the broad sense) part of it, as well. The human brain, or well, mind, has a great power of suggestion. I can certainly imagine that some of my strong feelings (hunches) were a product of my imagination. It’s certainly possible I “wrote” it like a novel. For example, some time ago, a girl heard about my experiences of remembering what the priest should say, or wondering how I would do what the priest did, and she said something about feeling as if she were taking me away from God. I was like me? God? Woman, what are you talking about? We’ve been talking for merely a couple of days and only talking. But she obviously had some ideas going in her head. And yes, there was sense of kinship and matching, perhaps a witty remark here or there, but nothing
logically warranting that kind of impression. It’s just things people develop in their heads basing on a variety of objective and subjective factors. Heck, even dietary changes could affect that by affecting the chemistry of hormone work. You just never know.
Oh dear, lawyers talking about love.
Well, I guess I will know sooner or later. On the one hand, I imagine I
will know because of all those hunches and senses of mine (I have an awful lot of intuition and a paranoid sense), but at the same time I’ve been surprised a couple of times in my life and God works in mysterious ways, and mild, innocuous ones. If He comes in a silent breeze, He might as well put a woman in my life that way. It was a bit like that with my ex. She had been my friend, best friend then, she had always been there and not really my type. Yeah, she was a great friend and she was pretty too, and yet she wasn’t actually what I thought to be my type, you know. Still, she was a woman after my own heart and I wouldn’t have exchanged her for any other, had it worked out, could it work out without harm to future children or anyone’s prospects of salvation. Well, then, I guess I’ll see. I guess you will, as well.
), but the underlying one is that you know.
.
It wasn’t emotions and feelings of overpowering love that convinced me that my DH was “the one,” it was mostly logic and philosophical compatibility.
I thank God all the time for my wonderful DH.