Seeking advice on love and life

  • Thread starter Thread starter yourdestiny
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Y

yourdestiny

Guest
Hello everybody.

This is my first post in this forum. I was browsing and looking for answers, and I figured that I’d give it a try on this forum. I just have a lot of things on my mind, and need to release some thoughts and need some advice on my situation.

These past months I have been so sad and confused over so many things in life. I have become depressed and have dark thoughts that I sometimes simply can’t fight - I’m currently jobless, and I have a hard time just to get by. I just wait the dark episodes to be over and pray a lot. It is probably too long a story to share here, but I will try to summarize it.

I was in a 6 year long relationship with the greatest person ever: he is sweet, faithful, smart, and I don’t think there has ever been anyone who loved me so deeply and without any preconditions. My parents, especially my mother, never agreed on my relationship with him. I am Catholic myself, but my now-ex is a protestant. Furthermore, me and my ex have a different background. I am myself Half Dutch and Half Chinese-Indonesian - he is Moluccan. Being close to my family in Indonesia, I understand that they do not and will never understand my choice of being with him.

Despite the fact that he is such a great guy, somehow I was a little unhappy in the relationship, or maybe unhappy with myself? - and for the last two years I tried to forget about all the problems by using drugs. I just didn’t treat myself very well. Nonetheless, I graduated with two degrees in those 2 years and I decided to go for a long holiday with my parents to my family overseas.

Once there I was introduced to this guy, a son of my mother’s best childhood friend. I was incredibly upset with my mother and other family members who set this up. I didn’t tell my boyfriend at home, because it would only upset him and hurt him. However, I started seeing this guy twice after a while and somehow I felt attracted to him and kept in touch. I felt the guilt and decided to break up with my boyfriend once I got back home. I thought that this was destined to be and was taking everything as a sign to go away from my then boyfriend. He is a devout catholic, of course the type of guy on the surface my family loves.

It’s been months now and I see now that this guy was only a flirt and attention seeker. I had hoped him to be more serious, but I can’t believe I have let go of someone who actually really loves me. This just confuses me. I have been in touch with my ex lately, and of course he is still heartbroken, but I would really like to see him. Perhaps I was wrong for leaving him?

I quit using drugs, it’s hard but I have to come to terms with myself and see the reality as is. I just miss my ex and I feel incredibly lonely and sometimes don’t see the light anymore.
 
Welcome to CAF! I’m sorry you are not feeling that well about things at this time. Sometimes life is full of difficult choices. This can be very depressing. But if we dwell on them, we hurt ourselves. The best that I can offer is a prayer and some advice I hope you don’t think is too trivial.

I suggest you try to find a good group of friends to hang with. That may be difficult, but maybe not. Friends, of course, that can help your spirits soar, not bring you down with negative attitudes. There are many here on CAF that might fit that bill. You can find several threads for fun and conversation over on the Back Fence or in the Clubhouse. It’s not the same as having some in person, but I suspect you will be able to find those, too. Hopefully, through your church.

Secondly I suggest you pray. Not for something but in gratitude for being who you are, what you do have, and that you are alive. So many have so much less. Taking stock of what you do have is always more uplifting than what we don’t.

I’ve had many failed relationships. Some I quit. Others that quit me. But in due time, God brought me in contact with the love of my life. One who showed me by example how liberating a God centered relationship can be. Patience is difficult. I would know. Trust, is also difficult. But trust that you have plenty of life left in which to find a great love. In the mean time, focus on frienship and you will always have the support you need when things don’t look so good.
 
Hi Yourdestiny welcome!!!
I think newbetx gave good advice.I have had many broken romances as many others have too.I have been devastated and while feeling that way have behaved in ways I’m not proud of.I have been through some tough times emotionally in my life and “forgotten” to pray to God.I have been so wrapped up in my own “dark thoughts” felt insecure, abandoned and alone.
God has been so very good to me and I truly do not deserve His love but I sure am grateful for it.He has answered my prayers and continues to do so and now I LISTEN and LOOK for His guidance.
I will pray for you and I ask you to “talk to God” think about Him and what he has done for us, all the many blessings he gives each and every one of us each day.
You are never alone God loves us all always and understands our innermost thoughts and desires.He knows us better than we do !!!
I hope you make lots of friends both on this site and at your church.
Good luck let us know how you are doing
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top