Seeking Balance -- Sports Mom Needs Advice

[graceandglory]

DH and I are good Catholics with rosaries hanging from our rear-view mirrors.

When we go somewhere together, the first thing we do in the car is pick up the rosary and say the Divine Mercy chaplet. It’s short and only takes about 5 minutes. That’s a good way to keep God first while chauffeuring.

Just a thought…

Ruthie

Usually when we pray the rosary in the car, it’s because we are all feeling desperate for something. But those are some of the closest and best times we’ve ever had.

Thanks Ruthie, for the idea.

 

[graceandglory]

. People adjust their Mass schedules or skip Mass because of “important games.” It’s crazy, imo. What message does that send to the kids?
.

I agree.
That seems out of balance.

My kids have never had to attend a sporting event or practice on a Sunday, and I don’t foresee it in the future. It’s not required in high school or Little League. Maybe if they play college ball, but they’ll be adults then.

 

[rpp]

Hey, how about a midnight snack hour. I mean everybody is home by then, right? You can all sit around the table and take turns slapping each other to stay awake. (At least that’s the excuse you can use. )

So what if everyone is sleepy and nobody gets enough sleep. Sleep is over-rated.

Okay, seriously.

I realize that you sometimes have very limited time with your kids on weekends. But whenever possible, try making Sunday night family night. I think that will help satisfy them - and you.

Another thing to consider. When our children become adults and leave home, we do not suddenly throw a switch and are cool with that. No. Letting our children grow and be themselves is a process. And for you, it is starting now. Your boys are doing things on their own more and more and becoming more and more self-sufficient. I do not mean to speak down to you (and I know you know this ) but perhaps there is more than a hint of separation anxiety on your part. That is something that nearly all parents, myself included, have felt from time to time.

 

[graceandglory]

I realize that you sometimes have very limited time with your kids on weekends. But whenever possible, try making Sunday night family night. I think that will help satisfy them - and you.
.

Wouldn’t you know it? Sunday night is Religious Ed.

 

[Nanny_PK]

I think the important thing is finding the opportunities for family time when they present themselves instead of stressing yourself out trying to force it. There have been some great suggestions here. Just relax and enjoy your kids

 

[Rick09]

Problem with this is “who cooks the dinner?”

But for our family, the last thing we would ever consider doing to relax is “family dinner at home.” Yecch.

I didn’t write that the dinner had to be at home, Cat. If you hate it that much, then sure, go out together. But I don’t think I’d call a 10 minute dine and dash at McDonald’s a family meal. Chile’s (like you mentioned) sounds much more like a family meal to me.

My main point is that we can unintentionally send wrong signals to our kids when everything revolves around sport or any other activity. Kids are pretty quick to pick up on what we go most out of our way for.

A writer for Sports Illustrated (Rick Reilly) wrote an excellent article about it a few years ago. It was called “Let Us Play” with the word “pray” crossed out and replaced with the word “play”. I can’t find the actual article online but here’s a good article about it with some quotes -

Let Us Play

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[graceandglory]

A writer for Sports Illustrated (Rick Reilly) wrote an excellent article about it a few years ago. It was called “Let Us Play” with the word “pray” crossed out and replaced with the word “play”. I can’t find the actual article online but here’s a good article about it with some quotes -

Let Us Play

.

Thank you for sharing this article.

I will continue to look for the original SI article. Good stuff in here.

I have a friend, calls herself a Christian, is a former missionary, but has never taken her children to Church. Too many sports leagues on Sunday.

I can’t imagine bringing children into the world and not leading them to Christ. Her children are approaching adulthood and were never introduced to “The family goes to Church on Sundays.”

That makes me sad.

 

[graceandglory]

There have been some great suggestions here. Just relax and enjoy your kids

Thank you, Super Nanny!

I wish there was a Nanny 911 on TV for teenage households!

 

[Rick09]

Thank you for sharing this article.

I will continue to look for the original SI article. Good stuff in here.

I have a friend, calls herself a Christian, is a former missionary, but has never taken her children to Church. Too many sports leagues on Sunday.

I can’t imagine bringing children into the world and not leading them to Christ. Her children are approaching adulthood and were never introduced to “The family goes to Church on Sundays.”

That makes me sad.

You’re very welcome. I’m sure you can find it in your local library. It may be on microfiche by now. But it’s definitely worth having. It was a brilliant article.

It was April 26, 2004.

 

[graceandglory]

You’re very welcome. I’m sure you can find it in your local library. ** It may be on microfiche by now**. But it’s definitely worth having. It was a brilliant article.

It was April 26, 2004.

Do I really come across that geeky? I might be a nerd, but really,…
microfiche!!!


(Actually, I’ve been meaning to look up another April magazine article…Newsweek, April 2005. Pope Benedict.)

 

[LB5]

When I was growing up there weren’t a lot of Sunday leagues for sports, but I did occasionally have to play ball on a Sunday. One way or the other we always made it to church, even if we were away on a trip. Keep in mind that this entire weekend my family WAS together.

I think when sports become “God” as someone else suggested, it is more often the fault of the parents. I will be the first to tell you sports are great–they paid for my entire college tuition. That’s an excellent benefit. Did my getting to the most elite level of collegiate competition interfere with my Sunday worship and family time? Nope, not one bit. I rarely, if ever, missed Mass, and my parents and I have an outstanding relationship. Here was the plan I took to get where I am today: started out in Little League once a week, practice once or twice a week. Junior high team, practiced only on school days with the occasional Saturday game. High school, same thing. Travel ball started for me freshman year of high school. Practiced with the team, which was about 30 miles away, Sunday afternoons which left plenty of time for Mass and lunch together. Weekend tournaments in the summer no more than 2 hours from home, parents drove us all there, and would seek out a church and go to Mass. Yes, we arranged Mass around my softball schedule for the weekend. But I really don’t think that’s a big deal. We still went–making quite an effort sometimes. And spent the whole weekend together. It’s really in the parents’ hands but you CAN have a peaceful marriage of both.

Don’t let other crazy parents or coaches get in your head. IF you are concerned about your child playing at an elite level–it CAN be done without it taking over your life. I put in a LOT of extra hours during the week. But I had my parents’ support at all of my games and we did a lot of other things together in our spare time.

And don’t forget about the other good benefits of sports, before judging them as bad, like overall physical health, teamwork, discipline, and time management.

 

[graceandglory]

And don’t forget about the other good benefits of sports, before judging them as bad, like overall physical health, teamwork, discipline, and time management.

I didn’t realize all those benefits until the last year. Fourteen year old boys need something physical and team-related with a goal in mind to do. If they don’t have that, they can easily become lazy bums. I have whined for decades about how much of tax payers’ money goes into high school versus academics, and now I see why. It is good for the community.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut, LB5. My son doesn’t play travel ball, but he did make All stars.

 

[whatevergirl]

My son is on JV football (my dd is into music lessons) and will also be playing on the varsity team, once JV is through. The coaches want to see how he does…etc…It’s definitely a grueling schedule, and our family dinners are not as frequent. We too love those special times together, but sometimes, we just push dinners to a later time…or if our son comes home from a game late, we sit there with him…so he doesn’t feel alone. We are at most of his games–the only game I didn’t make it, was pretty far, and I was not feeling well to travel.

But, it can be tough…but just make the weekends extra special…rent movies, and create different times to bond, other than dinner. I feel like I’m a taxi cab driver the times I’m not at work, so that too, can be taxing on a person over time. I am looking forward to the football season wrapping up, as my son will be less tired when doing his homework. He is in honors for all of his classes, and it’s just tough tough tough. He has no study halls, so he is often doing homework until late at night. He said that he is thinking of field hockey next though? So, we’ll see.

Good luck to you…and just remember…just changing the bonding time to some other time other than dinner while sports is going on, can also become a beautiful new way of spending time together as a family. GOD BLESS!

 

[Rick09]

Do I really come across that geeky? I might be a nerd, but really,…
microfiche!!!

LOL! Well, I guess I’m a geek-nerd then. I didn’t think microfiche was that geeky-nerdy!

Now where is my pocket protector…

 

[graceandglory]

We too love those special times together, but sometimes, we just push dinners to a later time…or if our son comes home from a game late, we sit there with him…so he doesn’t feel alone.

and create different times to bond, other than dinner

I am looking forward to the football season wrapping up, as my son will be less tired when doing his homework. He is in honors for all of his classes, and it’s just tough tough tough. He has no study halls, so he is often doing homework until late at night.

Thank you whatevergirl, for sharing your story!
This really helps. Since I’m a single parent, though, I don’t have that weekend option. They work hard all week here, I rarely see them, then they spend most weekends with their dad, who gets the good bonding time in with them, where they just all get to be together for two whole days without school and work and sports.

Since I started my thread, one thing that we’ve added in our house is that I now buy sugared cereal.
If they can’t be home for dinner, we can all have “dessert” together late at night, like ten o’clock.

You are right about the homework. My boys are always up past me on school nights doing their homework for their honors classes. I will be SO glad when Football is over.
One son will take a break for a while, but the other wants to go straight into Wrestling.
As long as his grades stay up, I say it’s okay. I am surprised how much they can get accomplished on less than 8 hours of sleep though.

I have also spent more time in planning over the weekend, so I’m not always caught off guard, by spending two hours making dinner, and no one being home to eat it. On the nights I know they’ll be home, those are the nights we have dinner together.

Starting high school, was quite a jolt! Major culture shock.
Definitely took some readjustment.

I appreciate all the responses in this thread. Sounds like you all are doing phenomenal jobs with your teens. Thanks again once more for taking your time to answer my harried mom question!!!