Seeking good arguments against gay adoption

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tjm190 said:
The need for both a male and female role model is always a nice one
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So a man or woman who is single shouldn’t adopt? Should a parent give their child away if they become a widow/er?
 
Oreoracle said:
So a man or woman who is single shouldn’t adopt? Should a parent give their child away if they become a widow/er?
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Given that the presence of male and female role models is ideal, those with no chance of creating the ideal environment should be considered.
 
WillieWonka said:
A woman is not a man. and I doubt the kid has any idea what his mother’s sexual orientation conjures up in her mind. But, I suppose we can wonder about the mother who hated her dead husband, too. Is it sexual orientation, marital status, or character that really matters? And is it the welfare of the kid or the sensitivities of the spectators that matters?
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all that you mentioned are significant matter for a properly ordered primordial community. I didn’t post anything about a mother who hates a dead husband. You are wrong about the sexual orientation. I think it a rare thing if a child of a lesbian doesn’t know their mothers sexual orientation.
 
Benadam said:
all that you mentioned are significant matter for a properly ordered primordial community. I didn’t post anything about a mother who hates a dead husband.
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Well, that’s comforting. All we have to do is figure out what “properly ordered” means.

I acknowledge you didn’t post anything about a mother who hates her dead husband. I did.

So, what images does a kid think are conjured up in his lesbian mothers mind? What images does he think are conjured up in his straight mother’s mind?
 
WillieWonka said:
Well, that’s comforting. All we have to do is figure out what “properly ordered” means.
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I think there has already been evidence posted for what works best. What other criteria is acceptable to you?
 
Benadam said:
ah, ok, I misunderstood. Lazy reading. Good question. Have you wondered ?
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It all depends on the behavior of the living parent. There is no reason to make any conclusion about that behavior regardless of the past relationship between the parents.
 
WillieWonka said:
What does properly ordered mean?
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An environment ordered to the good of a bear differs from an environment ordered to the good of a duck. In the context of this discussion, properly ordered refers to an environment ordered to the good proper to the formation of children.
 
WillieWonka said:
It all depends on the behavior of the living parent. There is no reason to make any conclusion about that behavior regardless of the past relationship between the parents.
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I think that’s true. The living parents behavior is paramount. A child identifies deeply with biological parents and as long as the child remains unaware of the hatred it shouldn’t hurt the child. Love for a biological parent is rarely if ever a cause of pain for the child.
 
Oreoracle said:
So a man or woman who is single shouldn’t adopt? Should a parent give their child away if they become a widow/er?
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You clearly didn’t read my post. I didn’t say that. I said that a single man or woman should not be at the top of the adoption list if an emotionally sound heterosexual couple has offered itself for that particular child. I also said that I know a few adopting single parents (females) who have rescued adoptees in circumstances which are less healthy than being raised by one parent. Why would you draw such an unsupportable conclusion, unless you simply skipped over what I said?

Obviously we don’t give children away because of accidental single parenthood, such as widowhood. But to pretend that a widowed single parent is on the same plane as the former dual parent household is dishonest. We cope and do our best with life’s circumstances. But there is no question that it is incomplete and less desirable.
 
Benadam said:
A child identifies deeply with biological parents .
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This is the bottom line that has been trivilized by the modern ethos of “anything goes” and false equations being drawn among all “lifestyle choices,” not to mention the dismissal of biology in the formation of the psyche.
 
I apologize, Oreoracle. My bad. 😊

And I like your screen name.
 
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