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Kimothy80
Guest
Maybe I’m/we’re like this out of curiosity about sex (the emotional and physical aspects). Hmmm…
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valient_Lucy
Guest
True, but none of us ever admit to it. It seems easier for guys to admit to having this problem than for women.
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Kimothy80
Guest
P.S. I think too much when I’m tired. 
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Kimothy80
Guest
I think it’s because for guys it’s a bit more “obvious” sometimes.
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valient_Lucy
Guest
Me too.P.S. I think too much when I’m tired.
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cmscms
Guest
I am a woman and I am waiting until marriage. The main reason I don’t like to talk about my temptations is because talking acutally makes the temptation bigger. It gives me more ‘bad ideas’. I like to think of something else and the feelings go away. Just reading this thread has tempted me.
That’s why this woman does not talk about it too often
That’s why this woman does not talk about it too often
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CountrySinger
Guest
When I was in the convent, I went stir crazy. Until I went to the mother superior in tears and azked to leave. And she said “you will make some man very happy.” I’m always ready to “go”, so I need to get married soon or I will explode I think. Glad to find other Catholic women out there.I’m glad I’m not the only one out there. I’m ridiculously single, still a virgin and have quite a dirty mind. At least I know I’m not “weird.”
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Aetheria
Guest
Curiosity can definitely be a problem. Myself, I don’t struggle so much with desire as with plain old curiosity - which isn’t an excuse!Maybe I’m/we’re like this out of curiosity about sex (the emotional and physical aspects). Hmmm…
I find that often such thoughts pop up when I’m sitting around doing nothing, daydreaming, or sleeping in on weekend mornings (especially treacherous). After saying a quick prayer, I think the best thing to do is to immediately get up and start doing some sort of physical work, even something as simple as doing the dishes, cooking yourself dinner, or taking a nice brisk walk. What occupies your body can also take the pressure off your mind. The important thing is to do something else, and to do it at once. Don’t sit around flirting with the temptation or beating yourself up for considering it, just run in the other direction and don’t look back!
It’s also important (at least, if you’re a bit of a melancholic like me) not to fall into the trap of hating yourself for having such temptations. They can be a real torment, and sometimes we do fail, but they’re not intrinsically more shameful than other kinds of temptations we all struggle with. I feel like I’m being stretched on the rack every time I go to confess entertaining lustful thoughts, but I know it’s good for me - perhaps God is bringing good out of that fall by giving me an opportunity to practice courage and humility!
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sanctamaria17
Guest
I struggle too! I hope and pray my vocation is marriage, because otherwise, I’ll be in Purgatory a long, LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time! For me, it’s thoughts and I confess, but it’s hard. I’m a hopeless romantic, too, and I dream of being able to be that vulnerable with someone else, to trust them and commit myself to them till death…in every way, including sex.
My priest always advises exercise. He notices it’s not just youth and biology, it’s also a stress response. We need to burn it off.
I just thank God for the gift of my fertility and desire and pray I can lovingly give it to a good man one day. Yeah, I have the desires, but they’re meant for His purpose, not my instant gratification. I have to remind myself of that.
My priest always advises exercise. He notices it’s not just youth and biology, it’s also a stress response. We need to burn it off.
I just thank God for the gift of my fertility and desire and pray I can lovingly give it to a good man one day. Yeah, I have the desires, but they’re meant for His purpose, not my instant gratification. I have to remind myself of that.
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CountrySinger
Guest
Exercise makes me worse! I’m trying to lose weight, so I have been going to the gym 5-6 days a week. The increased blood flow is what makes it worse. And nothing seems to help, I am a “sensual woman” as mom always said. Even anti-depressants (prescriped by a Catholic doctor to try to lower my desire) made me wide awake and ready for action. Lol. My body is screwed up.
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SarahR
Guest
That’s where I’m at too. Time to think about lunch
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valient_Lucy
Guest
I like the advice about keeping busy. It does help me.Curiosity can definitely be a problem. Myself, I don’t struggle so much with desire as with plain old curiosity - which isn’t an excuse!
I find that often such thoughts pop up when I’m sitting around doing nothing, daydreaming, or sleeping in on weekend mornings (especially treacherous). After saying a quick prayer, I think the best thing to do is to immediately get up and start doing some sort of physical work, even something as simple as doing the dishes, cooking yourself dinner, or taking a nice brisk walk. What occupies your body can also take the pressure off your mind. The important thing is to do something else, and to do it at once. Don’t sit around flirting with the temptation or beating yourself up for considering it, just run in the other direction and don’t look back!
It’s also important (at least, if you’re a bit of a melancholic like me) not to fall into the trap of hating yourself for having such temptations. They can be a real torment, and sometimes we do fail, but they’re not intrinsically more shameful than other kinds of temptations we all struggle with. I feel like I’m being stretched on the rack every time I go to confess entertaining lustful thoughts, but I know it’s good for me - perhaps God is bringing good out of that fall by giving me an opportunity to practice courage and humility!
And yeah, I beat myself up over this. I wrote a thread about that. It’s so hard not to, though. Oddly enough, I don’t feel any worse about confessing lustful thoughts than I do anything else, partly because I have to do that every single time I go to conession.
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valient_Lucy
Guest
That’s another problem, I don’t get enough exercise. I’m too lazy!
The crazy thing is, sometimes I’m afraid to pray for a husband and children, even though I want them, since I don’t know if I’d make a good wife or a mother. I’m very selfish, but I’m working on that.
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valient_Lucy
Guest
I would never advocate doing something that leads you to feel tempted. I don’t think anyone was sharing specific temptations or desires they had. I know I wasn’t. :bigyikes: But sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m not a freak for feeling like this. I wrote a rant about this subject a little over a year ago on the forum( A single woman’s rant), and I was amazed at 1 No one got really mad at me for feeling the way I did and 2 how many people felt the same way I felt.
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kentace
Guest
Aetheria! Thank you for your comment! I’ve had the same struggle. I thank God for your advices & suggestions. It’s the answer I’ve been looking for. I know well enough, that my lustful thoughts are dead wrong, sometimes they even lead me to more shameful things. And yes, the temptation’s really worse when I linger in bed in the morning. Thanks again for sharing your own experiences. God bless & strengthen us all who are struggling to be in God’s grace.Curiosity can definitely be a problem. Myself, I don’t struggle so much with desire as with plain old curiosity - which isn’t an excuse!
I find that often such thoughts pop up when I’m sitting around doing nothing, daydreaming, or sleeping in on weekend mornings (especially treacherous). After saying a quick prayer, I think the best thing to do is to immediately get up and start doing some sort of physical work, even something as simple as doing the dishes, cooking yourself dinner, or taking a nice brisk walk. What occupies your body can also take the pressure off your mind. The important thing is to do something else, and to do it at once. Don’t sit around flirting with the temptation or beating yourself up for considering it, just run in the other direction and don’t look back!
It’s also important (at least, if you’re a bit of a melancholic like me) not to fall into the trap of hating yourself for having such temptations. They can be a real torment, and sometimes we do fail, but they’re not intrinsically more shameful than other kinds of temptations we all struggle with. I feel like I’m being stretched on the rack every time I go to confess
entertaining lustful thoughts, but I know it’s good for me - perhaps God is bringing good out of that fall by giving me an opportunity to practice courage and humility!
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silentfactor80
Guest
As a guy I am so glad you posted this! Its true that society puts a much greater focus on female virginity although that is changing rapidly (thanks Sandra Fluke). I think often times if men and women were honest with each other about their desires it would help both keep them in check. For too long I thought women only have sex because they “had to.” It kind of made me as a guy feel like I am broken because I couldn’t share this desire with a woman. When a friend of mine told me that girls love sex just as much as guys I can’t tell you what a relief it was. It made sexual desire a very human thing and I didn’t feel like abnormal. I haven’t had sex yet but it does comfort me to know that I can be honest with a woman about desire and that helps me temper it.
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greenchelle
Guest
This is something I am in the process of learning:
Don’t watch tv programs of films with romance or rude bits, that only makes it more difficult
Avoid situations that may entice, keep covered up etc.
Pray. I prayed to Holy Mary for the strength not to give in to temptation. When I went to bed that night and closed my eyes, I could see her outline. This gave me enormous such happiness and reminded me why I was giving this up.
When I feel really, really broody this doesnt help either.
As for fantasising, try and do something more interesting and useful with your time.
Dont worry I struggle with this too!
Don’t watch tv programs of films with romance or rude bits, that only makes it more difficult
Avoid situations that may entice, keep covered up etc.
Pray. I prayed to Holy Mary for the strength not to give in to temptation. When I went to bed that night and closed my eyes, I could see her outline. This gave me enormous such happiness and reminded me why I was giving this up.
When I feel really, really broody this doesnt help either.
As for fantasising, try and do something more interesting and useful with your time.
Dont worry I struggle with this too!
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