This is what I’m familiar with, for that exact reason. I’ve never heard of a trend where really long marriages (like 40-60+ years) are breaking up, but it seems like something that apparently is becoming a little more common (from the previous posts here).
; the potential changes in social trends.)The older successful marriages break up for all the same reasons the younger successful marriages do. One I see often it is that people “grow apart”, but people that love each other need not “grow apart.”This is what I’m familiar with, for that exact reason. I’ve never heard of a trend where really long marriages (like 40-60+ years) are breaking up, but it seems like something that apparently is becoming a little more common (from the previous posts here).
Wow, this is great stuff. (Not the divorces
That is such a good point(s), deb. I must admit…at the low times in my marriage, were the times when I was the most self centered…and wanting and wishing…etc. (and not being immersed in my faith for sure)
I mean, is marriage strictly to be sacrificing to our spouses? Is it wrong to view marriage as wanting that person to help you out, too??A friend of mine worked with a man who was only staying married until all of his kids turned 18, so he would not have to pay child support. He was determined to end the marriage after that. My friend said that her co-worker did exactly that. The day after the youngest kid turned 18, he sent his wife divorce papers. He had planned to divorce his wife many years ago. My friend is not sure if the man’s wife knew, but it was no secret at the office.
OMG…how dismal of a marriage that must have been for not only him, but his wife, as well. To live a lie basically …ugh. I started the thread everyone…please chime in with your ideas or thoughts on GOD’S VIEW ON MARRIAGE. Thanks!
I think that we can’t go to extremes either way.I will contend though that I have seen many couples stay together for the kids…and I don’t know if that is how God intended marriage either?
Wow, this is very true. There have been several occasions where I’ve received “unwanted attention” (I’m a guy) from woman undergoing a divorce, and in every case, the husband’s personality was the complete opposite of mine.
It’s true that a bad marriage has an affect on the children. But stability is important too. My parents were very quietly unhappy, so it didn’t affect us children as much as parents who are screaming and throwing things. My dad was also overseas on assignment for many of those last, unhappy years. Don’t know if that made things better or worse for them.
Yes this is very true. And the stress of ill health can drive people apart too. One spouse is still vigorous and ready to go, the other is tiring and sickly for example.
Although I think that was children are adults and their parents divorce, it could even be harder. By the time the children are adults themselves, they are not clueless. When they see the divorce papers served as soon as they turn 18 or graduate from high school or college, they figure out right away that their parents were just staying together “for the kids”. This may cause even more resentment from the kids. For instance, the man who waited until his last kid was 18 but all the people in the office knew his plan. If the man just did that to avoid child support, will he even bother with his adult children, or will he just disappear completely from their lives?
It doesn’t sound like this man was remaining in the marriage for his children but in order to avoid paying out money, so he wasn’t actually being self sacrificing. As far as the children’s feelings, I would imagine that he wouldn’t have been the greatest dad anyway.
His poor children.I think that for some couples who remain together but continue to argue in front of their children, there is some pleasure in being martyrs. They will get pity from the kids who they made sure knew why they were unhappy with their lives. This is a sort of abuse, I would think.
whats real sad is(some) people dont remember their vows before God anymore. they sometimes let the world dictate their views on marriage.I don’t know a specific stat, but I have been seeing this in my everyday life …my sister was married 27 years, then divorced. We have neighbors and family members who were married 30+ years, then divorced. People that I work with…of course, I don’t ask the details, but I just find it interesting that long term marriages are ending at a more rapid rate than say 25 years ago? Divorce in general is higher, I know, but after 35 years of being married to someone…why would someone then consider divorce? What I mean by that, is that a marriage couldn’t be great for so long, and then go sour…or could it?? Maybe the couples were living a lie all their lives, and finally had enough? It’s sad, though. I think of growing old with my husband–it would sadden me if he left me at any time, let alone when I’m 60 or something.
Do you see this happening around you? What do you make of it?
yes, that is true too. but to go through nearly an entire lifetime being married…somewhere along the lines, they had to have taken the vows seriously??