Self-Control

[headhunter199]

Hi - I was hoping to getadvise on how to gain better self-control. I have a big problem in many areas; drinking, eating, and lustful thoughts and actions. I pray, fast and frequent confessions but I can’t seem to stop myself when there is a bowl of chips, cookies, wine, or stop myself from sexual sins. I have been battling these vices for nearly 2 years and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

Any advise or actions I could take would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and God Bless.

 

[06convert]

Most of these things chips, wine, cookies. These aren’t bad things in and of themselves. Just use moderation. If moderation is very difficult for you and it’s become a alcoholic or eating disorder you might need to talk to a priest face to face or seek counseling.

When it comes to sexual sin the best way to deal with this is avoid the occasion. If it’s the internet that is plaguing you stay off of it, or make sure not to use it when you are alone or with accomplices. Stay away from places that cause these thoughts.

In either case. Pray to your guardian angel. Pray when you feel temptation, because that’s when the devil is working his hardest and you need the most help. Lastly, go to confession once a week. When you have to confess the same thing week after week you start to realize how much of a problem you really have and can start to fix it.

 

[davidv]

It sounds like you have a lot of things to deal with.

My recommendation is to pick one that you would most like to conquer. Then, learn what opposing virtue counters it. Then practice, practice, practice that virtue with continuous prayer.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Sometimes physical sins have physical roots that need to be overcome by physical means. For example, I’ve just quit smoking (12 days since my last cigarette). Sheer will power, or teeth grinding self-control is not the solution to successfully quiting smoking. Withdrawal is a physical reality and needs to dealt with physically, calcium and magnesium tablets cause the body’s muscles to relax - something the nicotine has been doing for years, so taking mineral suppliments of calcium and magnesium makes the withdrawal a lot easier to handle.

Self-control is a good thing, but it will not by itself, help you overcome everything you need/want to overcome. My advice is look to physical solutions for physical problems even when they are also spiritual issues.

 

[Eucharisted]

Hi - I was hoping to getadvise on how to gain better self-control. I have a big problem in many areas; drinking, eating, and lustful thoughts and actions. I pray, fast and frequent confessions but I can’t seem to stop myself when there is a bowl of chips, cookies, wine, or stop myself from sexual sins. I have been battling these vices for nearly 2 years and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

Any advise or actions I could take would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and God Bless.

Meditate on Jesus’ Passion.

 

[Rascalking]

headhunter-

I know what you mean. I struggle with various temptations as well.

What helps me is to avoid the situations that lead me into them. Cigarettes? Avoid going to bars or places that make you want to smoke. (For me, it was driving. When I quit smoking my car thanked me and the oil change place hated me!) Women? Try to desexualize them by thinking of something repulsive about a woman you might be interested in. Is it hard? OF COURSE.

Attempt to be virtuous-take mini goals-and congratulate yourself when you beat them. For me, when I quit smoking, I bought a bunch of CDS with the money I saved. When I find myself attracted to a pretty girl and I don’t hit on them, or things don’t escalate, I drive home, pat myself on the back , and thank God.

I’m with you my friend. Keep us posted. We’ll pray for you and we want the best.

 

[roveau]

Good on you that you have identified the problems, you stated them clearly and then asked for help. That’s a good start. The advice so far is excellent and I’m sure you will be able to find what works for you.

For the sexual sins/temptation I’d say start saying the Rosary every day, that will be a supernatural weapon and only takes about 15-20 minutes. Don’t let your eyes dwell on anything that will lead to sin. When a bad thought comes into your mind just say a quick prayer like the Fatima Prayer (O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy. Amen).

As for the food wine etc. That’s a lifestyle thing, you just have to moderate rather than eliminate… that is develop the habit for less. As for food, I do a fair bit of physical training (running, gym etc) and find I can eat as much as I want. If you switch from ‘fast foods’ to healthy foods then you can generally eat a fair bit without health consequences.

All the Best,

Rove