Self cutting.

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Meemai

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So I havn’t found God anywhere and whatever I do more and more force starts turning it’s back on me and starts interupting my plans.

Even my parents, are now against me, and I do not care anymore. So I have a knife I use for woodcutting, though I never could find the right wood to cut with. But well I started cutting in my skin and it feels good it calms me down.

Though I can’t talk about it with my psychiatrist because I just stopped the anti-depressivia I am not depressive anymore I overcame that. However I am sad and feel like no one understands me, due to my personality disorder.

So I tried to pray to God more and more, but where is he?
 
God is in you heart. Always has been and, always will be. Maybe without your medication you are unable to hear God speaking to you through your heart…
I am a parent. It is not possible for your parents to stop caring about you. As a parent we sometimes get so caught up in our fears and frustrations that, we lose our focus on our children. Thus, it LOOKS like we don’t care but, oh my goodness, we DO. We just get too busy, too focused on something else, bills, jobs, friends, extended family, etc. Your parents love you very deeply.
It is so very HARD to imagine someone loving us even when we do not love ourselves but, God is not a human. God IS love. God’s love for you is so strong, so constant, so unconditional, you probably don’t BELIEVE anyone could love you THAT much, ALL the time, no matter WHAT you do, say, or think. But, remember, God is not human. God IS that great, that omnipotent, that perfect, that God’s love for you will NEVER stop. God tasked us with taking CARE of the life he gave us. talk to your doctor, a counselor, a priest, your parents, an adult whom you trust. AFTER that, try to focus on understanding that love which God has for you. Keep trying and keep listening in your heart.
 
Philotheatoo said:
God is in you heart. Always has been and, always will be. Maybe without your medication you are unable to hear God speaking to you through your heart…
I am a parent. It is not possible for your parents to stop caring about you. As a parent we sometimes get so caught up in our fears and frustrations that, we lose our focus on our children. Thus, it LOOKS like we don’t care but, oh my goodness, we DO. We just get too busy, too focused on something else, bills, jobs, friends, extended family, etc. Your parents love you very deeply.
It is so very HARD to imagine someone loving us even when we do not love ourselves but, God is not a human. God IS love. God’s love for you is so strong, so constant, so unconditional, you probably don’t BELIEVE anyone could love you THAT much, ALL the time, no matter WHAT you do, say, or think. But, remember, God is not human. God IS that great, that omnipotent, that perfect, that God’s love for you will NEVER stop. God tasked us with taking CARE of the life he gave us. talk to your doctor, a counselor, a priest, your parents, an adult whom you trust. AFTER that, try to focus on understanding that love which God has for you. Keep trying and keep listening in your heart.
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Thanks for your message. You seem like a really good parent your kids are blessed! As for me well my parents first promised not to leave me alone with my depression and all, but after that they just went on vacation and left me alone for 10 days. So I don’t know if they care much about me. They seem to care about they’re vacation more.

I will talk to my pastor about this also yes.
 
Meemai said:
So I havn’t found God anywhere and whatever I do more and more force starts turning it’s back on me and starts interupting my plans.

Even my parents, are now against me, and I do not care anymore. So I have a knife I use for woodcutting, though I never could find the right wood to cut with. But well I started cutting in my skin and it feels good it calms me down.

Though I can’t talk about it with my psychiatrist because I just stopped the anti-depressivia I am not depressive anymore I overcame that. However I am sad and feel like no one understands me, due to my personality disorder.

So I tried to pray to God more and more, but where is he?
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Dear Meemai,

Please do not cut yourself. You actually know that it is not going to make you really feel happy.

I’m sorry your family is on vacation. I’m sorry you are alone now. I’m sorry you suffer from the SPD

Please speak with the priest today about cutting yourself.

I will tell you a little small place where God is… he’s right here with you and people on Catholic Answer Forum. Meemai - people who respond to you on the forum do so because of the graces God gives them.

God’s hands on earth are our hands.

So, when we reach out to you by typing to you on this forum… God can reach out to you through us. When we express our desire to help you, it is God who gives us the gift of caring.
 
Meemai,

Please don’t despair. Pray the Rosary: here’s a good audio Rosary (it’s available in Dutch, as well as English). Our Lady can do amazing things for those devoted to Her Holy Rosary.

I’ll pray for you…
 
Meemai said:
So I havn’t found God anywhere and whatever I do more and more force starts turning it’s back on me and starts interupting my plans.

Even my parents, are now against me, and I do not care anymore. So I have a knife I use for woodcutting, though I never could find the right wood to cut with. But well I started cutting in my skin and it feels good it calms me down.

Though I can’t talk about it with my psychiatrist because I just stopped the anti-depressivia I am not depressive anymore I overcame that. However I am sad and feel like no one understands me, due to my personality disorder.

So I tried to pray to God more and more, but where is he?
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Please seek professional even as you seek guidance in prayer. Perhaps you have made some recovery from depression, but likely, not a complete one. Depression can be chronic. Please seek local help. Praying for you.
 
The Lord had mercy on me and drew him to himself. It could happen to you! Have patience. The Lord may be testing you. Peace be with you and if you need someone to talk to I am also on the forums.
 
God is all around you Meemai.

We may not see Him but He is here.

Please go see someone about the cutting.
 
I don’t know much about self-cutting, only what I’ve read or heard, but I do know that God does not want you to punish yourself. You are his adopted child, and a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is right there inside you, although we often forget that He is so close. I am praying for you along with many others here.

Remember, O Most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known,
that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help,
or sought thy intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother,
to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful,
O Mother of The Word Incarnate, despise not my petition, but in thy
mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
I use to be so depressed I could not get out of bad. I couldn’t go to school or do anything except cry. I have depression and I have to be on my medications for the rest of my life…most people with gentle illness do. I have read your other posts and you sound unhappy and that you don’t like yourself much. Your parents do love you. MY mom use to sit on the edge of my bed and just looked so lost because she could not help me. God does love you.Trust me He is working in His own time from bringing you out of this. These problems are temporary contrary to what you may think. Just have faith and pray. St. Augustine said Our hearts are restless until they rest in there, O Lord. How true is that. We try filling ourselves up with hate, self mutilation, suicide attempts, drugs and the just of it is that we have turned away from Him.Remember this too shall pass. If I would’ve went through with my attempts I would’ve never had a chance to near a parent and have a family.Humans are so quick to want to be happy and healed…instant gratification. We don’t give God a chance to help US in His time.Also, pray to St. Dymphna, an Irish saint who is for the gently I’ll…I pray to her every night for myself and all those afflicted. Hope this was of any help. By the way stay away from weed. Especially for gentle illness it makes you so paranoid it’s scary believe me. God bless
 
The first time I self-harmed I was on a high for hours. I still can’t find another way of not only relieving stress but also dealing with self-loathing.
 
Hi, I know you don’t want to talk to your psychiatrist. But you really must. You don’t want to have these feelings for the rest of your life if there is something the two of you can do together to control it. Did you take yourself off of the meds or did he?
Self-harm can come with many disorders, including a personality disorder. It gives the feeling of control along with a short term high if I am correct.
Stand strong, Stay Healthy… Take the help you can from your psychiatrist now and run with it , If you are under your parents health insurance now is the time to get things in motion to get and maintain emotional skills.
 
I have counseled a number of people who were cutters. Cutting is used like a drug to stop bad feelings. I say “drug” because the pain of cutting stimulates bio-chemicals such as endorphins for one example. This temporarily short circuits the depression. I also see it used to short circuit anger. The problem with the cutting behavior is that it does not address the root of one’s bad feelings. One does not get better through cutting. They may “cope” so to speak, for awhile, but the depression is ever present except when they cut. Gradually the cutting is less and less effective. You must stop cutting at once if you want to get better, but realize you will feel worse at first since you won’t have the short term relief from cutting. Get some help. I recommend Christian cognitive therapy.
 
Please tell your doctor about your self-mutilation so He can help you. Know that God is right there beside you in your suffering, desiring that you turn to Him and not to self-mutilation. He wants you to bear with your sufferings patiently, lovingly and faithfully; with Him, in Him and for Him. Please turn to Him in prayer and ask Him for strength and help the moment you feel bad and desire to hurt yourself. Hurting yourself will not solve your problems, my friend – it will only make your problems deeper and stronger. God bless you. You are in my prayers.
 
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