Self-Defense for Family Turned into Family turning Back

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EucaristiaDiv

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Back in March of this year a neighbor came into our home stomping and kicking on the door because the music was allegibly too loud. My dad (who wears glasses and has many heart conditions and lives on a daily basis on constant medications) came to answer and the guy step inside and pushed him while yelling at him. My sister (who was 17 at the time) went foward and he grabbed her face and pushed her. I went after him outside the apartment. His wrist was broken and he received staples on the back of the head. I’m not a violent person and I never hurted anyone before but when I saw my dad on his knees holding his chest it broke my heart. The cops saw the bloody mess and didn’t arrest me because they said it was a debatable self defense. He pressed charges and 3 days later I was brought up to the police station to be arrested for a 3rd degree felony as a battery. I’m still shocked but it will get cleared up soon since he has no defense and I reacted to protect my family. A month before this happened I received a letter from Columbia University stating I got accepted, University of Florida accepted me a month later. After these charges were issued both schools froze my status and denied my application until a veredict was given. I had to find another job, even with my extended resume I cannot be hired because I have an arrest of a felony on my record (even though I have not been convicted) so I need to work like an illegal immigrant.

The reason why I post this is because believe it or not, my family have turned their back on me. They say I deserve this for going after him, they forget I did it because I felt their welfare was being prejudice. My mom says all kinds of insults for not working (even though she knows my situation) and both of them keep throwing harmful words which have made me become bitter. I’m disgusted. I pray and pray that the Lord will get me out of this hole but nothing happens yet. I don’t understand why the very people I defended are the ones punishing me for this the worst. It’s completely ironic! I was a very strong Catholic but horrible things have happened to me that has made my faith become weaker regardless of how much I attempt to keep it strong and steady. I’m aware God will not make us carry more weight than we can support because of how well He knows us. But how strong does He think I am? I’m running out…
 
First let me say that I am not a lawyer or previe to the whole story from both sides, which there only a judge and court can decide. But let me give you my thoughts, while you might not agree, let me give you some food for thought.
  1. I was raised in Texas where defending life and property is still a sacred tradition. (The defense must take place INSIDE the home).
  2. As a Marine Embassy Guard, if there was any confrontation with locals in the country assigned, there were many strict regulations about the use of force, additionally in many circumstances we could be tried in local court for our actions.
  3. Since the person had left the apartment and was outside when you confronted him, I could argue that since the threat had past, the action was unwarranted. (not that I disagree with you feeling at seeing your father in that condition and the actions taken against your sister.
  4. As you are experiencing within your family, what about those men and women that choose a vocation of service (military), many face the same issues that you are even within their families. While I am guessing that you were not around during the 60’s and 70’s during the Viet Nam conflict, many of our brave servicemen and women suffered worse at the hands of our own American population than they did when in the actual combat zones.
  5. Many people react as you have described for fear of guilt by assoication. However, I have just read about one state leader that is taking released felons into his home as a gesture to start helping people understand that we as people need to help others in order for them to become better members in society.
  6. Also, I would suggest having a long talk with your priest, and if there is a military base nearby, trying getting a different perspective by talking with a military chaplain as they are well trained.
Society is becoming more a sititutation of guilty until proven innocent instead of innocent until proven guilty as our constitution provides for.

Again not saying what you did was right or wrong, just giving you some more avenues to think about and more importantly pray about.
 
I’m sorry to hear of your troubles. I would have done exactly the same thing had I been in your situation.

I think it is unfair that you are being treated as a criminal for defending your family. You should not be prosecuted for acting in self-defence. In situations like that, emotions run high and you cannot really be blamed for acting the way you did. You just wanted to defend your father. For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing in standing up to this individual. He should not be allowed to get away with things like that.

I think your family sound stressed by the whole situation. I don’t think they really blame you; they are just taking their frustrations out on you. They aren’t mad at you; they are mad at your neighbour and the system. Maybe you should talk to your parents about this. Tell them that you only did this to defend them.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong in fighting to defend yourself and your family. At the end of the day, you need to protect yourself. Your dad can no longer defend himself in this way, and you did the right thing in fighting for him. If anyone ever tried to attack my father, I’m coming after them and I’m not bothered about the consequences. People get away with far too much these days. Vulnerable people need defending. I hope when I become an old man that I have a young son or daughter who can defend me if I ever need help.
 
brownmil said:
First let me say that I am not a lawyer or previe to the whole story from both sides, which there only a judge and court can decide. But let me give you my thoughts, while you might not agree, let me give you some food for thought.
  1. I was raised in Texas where defending life and property is still a sacred tradition. (The defense must take place INSIDE the home).
  2. As a Marine Embassy Guard, if there was any confrontation with locals in the country assigned, there were many strict regulations about the use of force, additionally in many circumstances we could be tried in local court for our actions.
  3. Since the person had left the apartment and was outside when you confronted him, I could argue that since the threat had past, the action was unwarranted. (not that I disagree with you feeling at seeing your father in that condition and the actions taken against your sister.
  4. As you are experiencing within your family, what about those men and women that choose a vocation of service (military), many face the same issues that you are even within their families. While I am guessing that you were not around during the 60’s and 70’s during the Viet Nam conflict, many of our brave servicemen and women suffered worse at the hands of our own American population than they did when in the actual combat zones.
  5. Many people react as you have described for fear of guilt by assoication. However, I have just read about one state leader that is taking released felons into his home as a gesture to start helping people understand that we as people need to help others in order for them to become better members in society.
  6. Also, I would suggest having a long talk with your priest, and if there is a military base nearby, trying getting a different perspective by talking with a military chaplain as they are well trained.
Society is becoming more a sititutation of guilty until proven innocent instead of innocent until proven guilty as our constitution provides for.

Again not saying what you did was right or wrong, just giving you some more avenues to think about and more importantly pray about.
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Let me introduce myself:

You thought I was a big nerd for getting accepted into Columbia? I also work as a science geek tutor. But let me tell you something:

1.- Marine Embassy Guard is nowhere given as an MOS in the Corps, I believe Marine Security Guard or MSG duty is what we devil dogs call it nowdays.

2.- I was stationed in California, 7th Marines, 1st Division. I picked up E-4 in a meritorious promotion board (because I knew a little about my MCO P1020.34F maybe) and Sergeant by the 3rd year.

3.- I served in over 8 countries with a Special Operations Capable unit (SOC) 13th MEU.

I mean all of this in the most humble way, but I believe I know all there is to know about serving this nation. So I do know to the full extent what it feels like to be treated diminished for serving and now serving my family.

The prosecutor will pull that card on me that I was a crazy war maniac who chased him down. The fact of the matter is that I was not thinking of revenge but I was thinking of him going to his car or calling someone. When I stroke him he was facing my sister with his hands raised. The only reason why this is being taken to court is because he has permanent injuries that I should not be responsible for.

If someone hurts your kid (I hope it never happens) you would totally understand what it feels like…
 
Get the money for a *good *lawyer. Bummer, but there you are.

As to your faith feeling shaken by this, remember what Our Lord went through for us, with unfortunately little gratitude from many of us! He was killed as a criminal.

Now is the time when you can offer up your suffering and humiliation to Him, and get closer to Him. Instead of allowing your faith to be shaken, consider how He felt and re-double your prayers, esp those of gratitude.

If you can spend some time with Him in the tabernacle, that would be even better, but pray whenever you get a chance.
 
St_Francis said:
Get the money for a *good *lawyer. Bummer, but there you are.

As to your faith feeling shaken by this, remember what Our Lord went through for us, with unfortunately little gratitude from many of us! He was killed as a criminal.

Now is the time when you can offer up your suffering and humiliation to Him, and get closer to Him. Instead of allowing your faith to be shaken, consider how He felt and re-double your prayers, esp those of gratitude.

If you can spend some time with Him in the tabernacle, that would be even better, but pray whenever you get a chance.
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What a moving advice. Thank you very much. I never thought of relating the Passion of Christ into these troubles. But come to think of it, everything revolves around the Passion. Once again, thank you!
 
The man came INTO your home, uninvited, and assaulted your father and sister, correct? While you may have committed a crime assaulting him after he had left the property, he clearly committed a crime, as well. Has he been arrested? If not, why?

In Christ,

Ellen
 
Surrender yourself completely in trust to God, seek justice even if it seems you may never find it and remember that gold is tested in fire and the chosen in the furnace of humiliation.
 
ALLGIRLS said:
The man came INTO your home, uninvited, and assaulted your father and sister, correct? While you may have committed a crime assaulting him after he had left the property, he clearly committed a crime, as well. Has he been arrested? If not, why?

In Christ,

Ellen
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He was outside while facing my sister. I did not go chase him down like a maniac. I did not commit a crime as well. I’m not a cop to take the law into my own hands, but I needed to see if he was going to his car to get a weapon and ask him why did he hit my family, like I said I did not do anything to seek revenge.
 
I appreciate your service and really hope it all works out for you. Congrats on being accepted at Columbia and Univ. of Florida. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
This happened to us when we lived in Texas. The attack took place in OUR home. We were arrested and charged. The entire nightmare lasted over two years. We lost everything, especially faith in the judicial system.
All I can offer you is to keep your faith in Christ and keep going to Mass. It will pass, and you will be stronger and wiser for it.
My prayers go with you as you fight this monstrous battle. Feel free to PM me if you want any pointers.
 
RWMorris said:
This happened to us when we lived in Texas. The attack took place in OUR home. We were arrested and charged. The entire nightmare lasted over two years. We lost everything, especially faith in the judicial system.
All I can offer you is to keep your faith in Christ and keep going to Mass. It will pass, and you will be stronger and wiser for it.
My prayers go with you as you fight this monstrous battle. Feel free to PM me if you want any pointers.
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Thanks for the prayers. May I ask what exactly happened? What was the final decision by the court? I have not even bothered to waste money on this so I have a public defendant. My first and last trial was supposed to be done a couple of weeks ago but a hurricane coming to Miami extended it for another month of wait. I can feel the prayers and blessings given from great people like yourself, this past week I’ve felt closer to God. I confessed and went to Mass today after a couple of months. I promised not to ever stop no matter what.
 
Apparently you are a “resident” of Florida, this being the case… WHY HAS NOT THIS PERSON BEEN CHARGED WITH “UNLAWFUL TRESPASS”, AND AT LEAST “TWO COUNTS OF ASSAULT”???

Seems to me that someone has put the “cart in front of the horse”. I would suggest…(as a fellow resident of Florida) that you have a real serious discussion with your legal representative regarding the issue…the statute of limitations is not expired…and the person who illegally invaded your home is subject to charges as well. Those charges are more serious than the one you are facing.

Perhaps a little discussion with the “States Attorney” aka Prosecutor…making it clear that you will be bringing charges against the individual who forced his way in…for the above mentioned crimes…may bring about significant cause for the other party to “change his mind” and drop the nonsense. If not, “force” the DA to bring the charges…and drop the hammer on the guy.

Frankly…the guy is fortunate he did not do that to me… he would more than likely be “pushing up daisies” right now. Self defense in FL is an absolute right. See below:

From here: self-defender.net/law2.htm

Florida statutes/Laws

776.031 Use of force in defense of others.–A person is justified in the use of force, except deadly force, against another when and to the extent that the person reasonably believes that such conduct is necessary to prevent or terminate such other’s trespass on, or other tortious or criminal interference with, either real property other than a dwelling or personal property, lawfully in his or her possession or in the possession of another who is a member of his or her immediate family or household or of a person whose property he or she has a legal duty to protect. However, the person is justified in the use of deadly force only if he or she reasonably believes that such force is necessary to prevent the imminent commission of a forcible felony.
History.–s. 13, ch. 74-383; s. 1189, ch. 97-102.

I would suggest that you tell the Public Defender to get off his or her “duff” and get with the program…and push for dismissal of the charges immediately under self defense laws, or push the paper forward charging the initiator of the trespass. Do not sit still and wait for a miracle to happen…make it happen. The laws are written as they are for a reason.
 
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