Self Destruct

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crazydaisy1234

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Hi there,

I seem to be bent on self-destruction; I have done so many things wrong over and over again, and can never stay on the right path for long.

I am so sad about a lot of things that have happened. I nearly ended it all on Tuesday.

I hope this doesn’t sound self-pitying. I can’t bear to pray because I don’t feel I deserve to be heard, but if anyone has a spare moment I’d be more grateful than you could know.

Thanks.
 
None of us “deserves” to be heard, not even the Saints. Don’t lose hope. Jesus’s love is greater than our failings. If you are thinking of hurting yourself I beg you, please go get help. At least don’t let yourself sit there alone, be around someone else. My prayers are with you!
 
The_Question said:
None of us “deserves” to be heard, not even the Saints. Don’t lose hope. Jesus’s love is greater than our failings. If you are thinking of hurting yourself I beg you, please go get help. At least don’t let yourself sit there alone, be around someone else. My prayers are with you!
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I agree with the above. Please get help with your feelings of despair. Perhaps you have a treatable condition like depression and your suffering could be alleviated.
Mary.
 
crazydaisy1234 said:
Hi there,

I seem to be bent on self-destruction; I have done so many things wrong over and over again, and can never stay on the right path for long.

I am so sad about a lot of things that have happened. I nearly ended it all on Tuesday.

I hope this doesn’t sound self-pitying. I can’t bear to pray because I don’t feel I deserve to be heard, but if anyone has a spare moment I’d be more grateful than you could know.

Thanks.
Click to expand...
Praying for your intentions.
 
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.
 
crazydaisy1234 said:
Hi there,

I seem to be bent on self-destruction; I have done so many things wrong over and over again, and can never stay on the right path for long.

I am so sad about a lot of things that have happened. I nearly ended it all on Tuesday.

I hope this doesn’t sound self-pitying. I can’t bear to pray because I don’t feel I deserve to be heard, but if anyone has a spare moment I’d be more grateful than you could know.

Thanks.
Click to expand...
Hey CrazyDaisy, I think I understand where you’re coming from. One idea which helped me understand myself better in a really practical and concrete way was Saint Paul when he said this:

I do not understand my own behavior; I do not act as I mean to, but I do the things that I hate. Though the will to do what is good is in me, the power to do it is not; the good thing I want to do, I never do; the evil thing which I do not want - that is what I do.
-Romans 7:14-24

I think this is a terrifically deep insight into the human condition itself, but is especially on target when it comes to drugs and alcohol. Our unconscious is highly, highly active all the time, and we just don’t realize it. In our moments of weakness things can pop up which we thought we’d already dealt with or overcome. It’s maddening, to say the least. For me personally, Lectio Divina has been a tremendous help. It’s something that might seem like it wouldn’t help but which actually does, or which did for me, at any rate. Anyway, I’ll pray that you find a way to stay on the right path. Trust in God; whatever you’re going through is necessary, and the more agony you go through the deeper He will be able to reach into you and change you and teach you.
 
OUR LADY OF MENTAL PEACE PRAYER

O Lady of Mental Peace,
Mother of Tranquility and
Mother of Hope,
look upon me in this time
of disquiet and weakness.
Still my restless spirit,
teach my searching heart to know
that God’s love for me
is unchanging and that the suffering
which He may will for me now
is to draw me closer to Him.
Let thy gentle peace and His —
which the world cannot give —
be always with me, that I may
be sanctified: and then:
I beseech thee
for the grace to bring this
peace to others.
Jesus, My Savior, I give myself
entirely to Thee through Mary:
Our Lady of Mental Peace,
pray for me!
Amen.
 
Praying hard for you. God can forgive anything, don’t give up on yourself, we are all sinners.
 
A prayer against depression

O Christ Jesus
When all is darkness
And we feel our weakness and helplessness,
Give us the sense of Your Presence,
Your Love and Your Strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
In Your protecting love
And strengthening power,
So that nothing may frighten or worry us,
For, living close to You,
We shall see Your Hand,
Your Purpose, Your Will through all things.

By St. Ignatius of Loyola

++++++++++++++++++++

Dear friend, suffering from depression is nothing to be ashamed of. I would certainly recommend talking to a professional. Suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously.

You are just as worthy as any of us poor sinners. God will always listen to you and forgive you. He loves us so much that he sent His Son to die for our sins.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**3 O’Clock Prayer **

You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelope the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us.

“Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, Have Mercy on us and the whole world.”

“Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, Have Mercy on us and the whole world.”

“Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, Have Mercy on us and the whole world.”

Amen

:signofcross:
 
You are no less worthy than anyone else. Please find someone you can talk to…really talk to. Praying for you.
 
I once heard.

Never look back at your sins without looking at Jesus nailed to the Cross…if not they will crush you.

I will say a prayer for you.

Despair is the work of the devil, when you can run to Confession, and if your sins haunt you, its the devil talking, and you can telllhim, “you’re right, I did that, but I have been mercifully forgiven, so you can go to hell where you belong”
 
You are not alone. God has you safe in His loving arms and will never forsake you.
Please consider seeking medical help, as advised by earlier posters. Depression is a frightening illness and can lead you to feel hopeless. It isn’t anything to be ashamed about, any more than any other illness. No-one chooses to be depressed or even suicidal - it just happens and can affect everyone at any time - often for no obvious reason. Equally there is help available and you may be surprised at the support you can get.
Most of all, lean on Jesus and trust in His unfailing love for you.
“Let Him be for you,
Let Him be with you,
Let Him speak to you,
Let Him hold you, console you, forgive and strengthen you,
Let Him fill you afresh with His Spirit,
Let Him become more and more alive and real to you…”
(from Joyce Hugget’s book - “Open to God” )
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
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