Selfishness

[Milestone]

My greatest ambition is to be holy. This isn’t necessarily a good thing however, because I find that this ambition is in fact a hinderence to the achievement of my goal. My spiritual life is very self-centered, in that love plays a very small role in it. I’m always asking myself how I might increase in holiness, but I neglect to ask how I might give myself more fully to others. This is like preparing an omelette without eggs. This selfishness isn’t only evident in my spiritual life. Rather, it permeates all throughout every aspect of my life. I can get rather impatient with people, and I’m prone to greed. Often times, I fantasize about having unrealistic amounts of wealth and power. I want this to stop, and I want to love my neighbor as myself, but loving someone as much as myself seems almost impossible (I’m not talking about feelings, because my self esteem isn’t that great either). How might I go about doing that?

 

[Rosebud77]

My greatest ambition is to be holy. This isn’t necessarily a good thing however, because I find that this ambition is in fact a hinderence to the achievement of my goal. My spiritual life is very self-centered, in that love plays a very small role in it. I’m always asking myself how I might increase in holiness, but I neglect to ask how I might give myself more fully to others. This is like preparing an omelette without eggs. This selfishness isn’t only evident in my spiritual life. Rather, it permeates all throughout every aspect of my life. I can get rather impatient with people, and I’m prone to greed. Often times, I fantasize about having unrealistic amounts of wealth and power. I want this to stop, and I want to love my neighbor as myself, but loving someone as much as myself seems almost impossible (I’m not talking about feelings, because my self esteem isn’t that great either). How might I go about doing that?

A real way is to start actively giving. Of your time and energy in mercy work. That will help with patience and with the attitude to wealth as seeing how little others have teaches so ,much.

Living it out with your body and not “just” prayer…

Someone I knew used to get up earlier than they need, make sandwiches and flasks of coffee, get to the station and sit with some homeless folk over breakfast. Kept them company as well as feeding them. Loving is not an emotion but deeds…

 

[oldgraymare2]

You can also try and make an increase in your spiritual life, too.

Try and start slowly, so that you can fit things in where you can.

I did this years ago because I wanted the Lord to know how much I loved Him. You can’t help but be focused on the Lord when you start doing these things.

Add in some extra weekday Masses if you can. Go to Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament if you can, or go to Mass a little early and pray/sit quietly before the Lord in the Tabernacle.

Add in some extra prayers here and there, too.

I pray to be a better person, and to be more like our Lord.

If you ask for this, I think that you will start to find changes happening in yourself.

For me, I have found that I have become a more compassionate person, and I began to think more about others, too.

 

[Blue_Rose]

Here’s a prayer I like… I’m selfish and realised I was full of pride a few years ago. It worked. Maybe a little too well…

Litany of Humility

Rafael Cardinal Merry del Va (1865-1930),
Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

 

[Mary_Estelle]

In case no one has ever told you-we are all selfish in some manner or to some extent. A recognized and controlled selfishness can be beneficial if used for the right reasons. For instance weight control or good health habits or being presentable to self and others.

We all fantisize. I will call it daydreaming. To fantasize or daydream helps us reach for and achieve certain goals. God made us to seek and achieve. Ambition is the driving force behind selfishness or on unfettered fantasizing.

As you become more spiritual-I won’t call it holy-you will find the negative aspects of selfishness and fantasizing will slowly melt away and holiness will become more of a reality in your life. It won’t be easy or nor will you become a saint overnight, but you should become a far better person if you can immerse yourself in prayer and good works according to your ability.

I am inclined to suspect that some of the apostles struggled with some of the same aspects of these human weaknesses, but went on to great heights of holiness. There is often a price to pay for great holiness so bear in mind, do you want holiness for the sake of love or for personal recognition.

The only advice I can render is what I have already stated.: Immerse yourself in prayer, good works and mercy. True love of God and not of self is like going magnet fishing: You never know what you will pull up on the end of the magnet. You get rid of the junk, but keep the good stuff. Happy fishing. Peace and prayers.