"Selling" the RCIA Process?

[upnorthaims]

Having been raised in the Church all my life, going to Catholic schools etc, I am fairly comfortable in my Catholic identity. I took a few years post-confirmation prep to truly discern what I wanted out of my spiritual life (during this time, my younger brother passed away and the rite of christian burial was a hard one to swallow), but when my older brother and his wife married in the same parish my brother’s final mass was held at, I began to feel pulled again. I attributed this largely to Mary, the mother of the Church-- she was with me through a lot of trials and I was happy to take her name as mine when I was confirmed last August.
Part of my move back to the Church was an increasing clarity in my heart about my SO at the time-- we met with the priest ahead of my confirmation and expressed our intentions to marry. He, of course, was thrilled that I was working to be in full communion with the Church ahead of any marital preparations.
Now, we’re engaged, doing the whole pre-Cana process and some conversations were brought up during our Engaged Encounter retreat that make my heart hopeful one day my future husband will feel called to the Church. He is thrilled to be sharing the sacrament with me, thrilled at the idea of raising our children in the Faith, and yet… not SO thrilled at the idea of converting. He was raised Evangelical Free (and, being Catholic, I know little of the theology of that faith), and those early experiences of Christianity kind of rubbed him the wrong way. Couple that with biology and chemistry degrees and it’s fair to say he’s a little skeptical.
I do not under any circumstances want to insinuate I want him to convert for me, or for our future children, but my heart would be so happy if he decides to convert of his own volition. He was preached a fair amount of anti-Catholic sentiment in his church as a young person, and some things he’s just misinformed on-- i.e. that the Church isn’t necessarily promoting a 6-day (as we define them) creation story. I would love it if he could just sit down with someone (either informally or in a more formal class setting) and just sort of get some basic Catholic theological information. Then, he can take it from there. I just don’t want him to shut down these little openings, these little urges toward something bigger than us just because he was taught we (Catholics) worship Mary.
I know this was rambling-- any advice, books, directions you could point us in?

 

[Tietjen]

Having been raised in the Church all my life, going to Catholic schools etc, I am fairly comfortable in my Catholic identity. I took a few years post-confirmation prep to truly discern what I wanted out of my spiritual life (during this time, my younger brother passed away and the rite of christian burial was a hard one to swallow), but when my older brother and his wife married in the same parish my brother’s final mass was held at, I began to feel pulled again. I attributed this largely to Mary, the mother of the Church-- she was with me through a lot of trials and I was happy to take her name as mine when I was confirmed last August.
Part of my move back to the Church was an increasing clarity in my heart about my SO at the time-- we met with the priest ahead of my confirmation and expressed our intentions to marry. He, of course, was thrilled that I was working to be in full communion with the Church ahead of any marital preparations.
Now, we’re engaged, doing the whole pre-Cana process and some conversations were brought up during our Engaged Encounter retreat that make my heart hopeful one day my future husband will feel called to the Church. He is thrilled to be sharing the sacrament with me, thrilled at the idea of raising our children in the Faith, and yet… not SO thrilled at the idea of converting. He was raised Evangelical Free (and, being Catholic, I know little of the theology of that faith), and those early experiences of Christianity kind of rubbed him the wrong way. Couple that with biology and chemistry degrees and it’s fair to say he’s a little skeptical.
I do not under any circumstances want to insinuate I want him to convert for me, or for our future children, but my heart would be so happy if he decides to convert of his own volition. He was preached a fair amount of anti-Catholic sentiment in his church as a young person, and some things he’s just misinformed on-- i.e. that the Church isn’t necessarily promoting a 6-day (as we define them) creation story. I would love it if he could just sit down with someone (either informally or in a more formal class setting) and just sort of get some basic Catholic theological information. Then, he can take it from there. I just don’t want him to shut down these little openings, these little urges toward something bigger than us just because he was taught we (Catholics) worship Mary.
I know this was rambling-- any advice, books, directions you could point us in?

The title of your post is the answer to your question. Most parishes start their RCIA classes in the fall. Reassure him that joining RCIA does NOT mean that he is joining the Church. RCIA is simply a class that explains things and answers questions. If, after he completes RCIA, he decides not to join the Church… no problem; but, at least he’s making an informed decision rather than one based on hearsay and misunderstandings. A good book for him while waiting for the next RCIA classes to begin would be Scott & Kimberly Hahn’s book, Rome Sweet Rome.

 

[JRKH]

Get the book “Catholicism for Dummies”. I do not own it, but by all accounts I have read, it is orthodox and quite good. This might help him see some of the errors he was previously taught plus these books are generally written in a clear but nonthreatening way.

If you think that conversions stories might help…Look up the Coming Home Network on line. There are great Conversion stories there as well as on You Tube - The Journey Home.

If his interest continues to be piqued, I understand that Scott Hahn’s works are of great help.

Peace
James

 

[DobryKatarzyna]

I concur with others here. Make sure he knows that he is NOT making a promise to join the Church, that these are just informational settings. It’s not a cult atmosphere or something that they try to sell him. It’s merely an invitation. Make sure he understands that going to these classes would be a crucial step towards getting to know the whole you. Your Catholic identity encompasses your faith, lifestyle, associates, background, and everything about you. As a significant other, he should WANT to enter your world. I would also recommend that you learn a little about his religious background just so you can see where he is coming from. It fosters good will.

I originally went to RCIA just to learn stuff. I went to RCIA because I went to Mass and saw a pamphlet on how to convert to Catholicismk. I went to Mass because I was doing research for a novel. Two years later…I’m a catechumen preparing for next year’s vigil. Don’t doubt the Spirit. Even if he attends just to learn stuff, he could end up like me. Praying for you.

 

[felsguy]

A couple of suggestions come to mind. The first is one used by my local supermarket. Throughout the food section, they put out items for the shoppers to sample. It’s help yourself, there’s no salesperson pushing the product on you. Sometimes I take a taste or nibble and end up buying the item, if not right then, at a later time. So expose him to some tastes and nibbles of Catholicism, through the practice of your faith, maybe that of relatives and friends, but without any hard sell. Hopefully he’ll like it and some day decided to “buy” it.

Secondly, many parishes have what is known as Inquiry Sessions. These are opportunities for non-Catholics to ask questions about Catholicism without have to register, attend regularly, or make any kind of commitment. Check around for one in your area and then offer to go with him. It doesn’t have to be at your own particular parish.

Also, if and when it would be appropriate, you could always arrange for a casual sitdown with a priest, deacon, or knowledgeable Catholic layperson to discuss whatever aspects of Catholicism he would like.

.

 

[Balian]

Although your SO has no immediate plans to convert it seems, based on what you shared he seems open-minded enough to consider attending RCIA classes. As someone else mentioned, attending RCIA in no way comes with any obligation to convert. In my own case, my local parish welcomes those with no intention of converting who simply wish to learn more about what Catholics believe.

As a recent convert myself, raised in the Protestant tradition, I am quite convinced that few Protestants know anything about the Catholic faith but most all of them think they do. So their issues with Catholicism isn’t so much about what Catholics believe but what they think Catholics believe. I know it was very common for the pastors of some of the Protestant churches I attended to say some very uncomplimentary things about the Catholic Church from the pulpit. Even back then I remember thinking it wasn’t a very Christian attitude.

Getting back to your original points. I would concentrate on trying to get him interested in trying RCIA. Hopefully you have a good program at your home parish. I know from discussions in these forums that mileage tends to vary. I had the benefit of being in a very excellent RCIA program and so never felt pressured to convert and never heard any Protestant bashing at all. Unlike your SO, I sort of already had my mind made up to covert at the outset, but even had I been just an inquirer, I learned things that would have made it impossible for me to ever have seriously embraced Protestantism after RCIA. Perhaps he might experience something similar. In any case, if it is God’s will I am confident that what you desire will come to pass. Peace