L
Lazerlike42
Guest
I have applied to enter the seminary to begin formation for the priesthood. I have been through all sorts of interviews at this point, including psychological ones which in honesty I didn’t trust too much in the first place for various reasons.
I had a meeting yesterday, and it is not looking good. There are particular reasons they may not accept me, and it’s really bothering me. The reasons range from - at least in my perception - misunderstandings to things that seem almost like I’m being looked at questionably because of trying to follow Christ. Now I could be wrong about all of this, and I don’t want to speak negatively at all about those involved because I certainly don’t think they’re trying to do anything wrong nor do I know what they are thinking exactly.
In any case, the prospects of what I would do if I am not accepted are looking worse and worse every time I think about them… The single thing I need more than anything else right now is to be in that sort of a atmosphere, with other men of strong faith, in a prayerful, Liturgical, and simply Catholic setting - a place where Jesus is the center and others there - even if imperfectly - embrace Him as their center. I just can’t imagine having to wait and try again next year… I don’t see how I would make it. I have been feeling suffocated living the life I have… my soul is gasping for breath. I can’t possibly imagine being in a job of some kind, or going back to some sort of college (which I probably couldnt afford anyhow)… I really don’t feel like I’d make it. As it is, I am struggling to maintain the status quo - growing very little if at all in my faith. The home I am living in is just stifling any spiritual oxygen that there may be, and I have absolutely no way to leave.
If I am left in the situation I’m in, I’m going to be in this situation with a family who doesn’t understand me a bit pushing me almost violently towards very wordly places which are going to end up choking me to death if I ever went to them, and won’t give any consideration or support to my trying to find something which would be good for me.
I am having a hard time explaining it all… it’s really a huge mess. They will be deciding over the next few days, please pray for me.
Peace and God bless
I had a meeting yesterday, and it is not looking good. There are particular reasons they may not accept me, and it’s really bothering me. The reasons range from - at least in my perception - misunderstandings to things that seem almost like I’m being looked at questionably because of trying to follow Christ. Now I could be wrong about all of this, and I don’t want to speak negatively at all about those involved because I certainly don’t think they’re trying to do anything wrong nor do I know what they are thinking exactly.
In any case, the prospects of what I would do if I am not accepted are looking worse and worse every time I think about them… The single thing I need more than anything else right now is to be in that sort of a atmosphere, with other men of strong faith, in a prayerful, Liturgical, and simply Catholic setting - a place where Jesus is the center and others there - even if imperfectly - embrace Him as their center. I just can’t imagine having to wait and try again next year… I don’t see how I would make it. I have been feeling suffocated living the life I have… my soul is gasping for breath. I can’t possibly imagine being in a job of some kind, or going back to some sort of college (which I probably couldnt afford anyhow)… I really don’t feel like I’d make it. As it is, I am struggling to maintain the status quo - growing very little if at all in my faith. The home I am living in is just stifling any spiritual oxygen that there may be, and I have absolutely no way to leave.
If I am left in the situation I’m in, I’m going to be in this situation with a family who doesn’t understand me a bit pushing me almost violently towards very wordly places which are going to end up choking me to death if I ever went to them, and won’t give any consideration or support to my trying to find something which would be good for me.
I am having a hard time explaining it all… it’s really a huge mess. They will be deciding over the next few days, please pray for me.
Peace and God bless
