Separate beds?

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arso347:
Why in the world would you want “privacy” from your spouse?

Not a good sign.
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My sentiments exactly! Annunciata:)
 
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ridesawhitehors:
We have a huge King size bed common to hubby and I. But if he starts that flailing, kicking, snoring, farting, stuff - He is kicked out immediatly and off to the spare room. .
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:rotfl: Privacy has it’s good points too. 😃

:blessyou:
Annie
 
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BLB_Oregon:
Well, it depends. If you’re running a business together, you might need some time alone. Remember, he’s talking separate rooms, not separate vacations and separate social circles.

Besides, St. Paul said that deciding to separate for prayer was acceptable, for instance… and that was in the days when the spheres of men and women were much more separate than they are now. He did counsel that the separation shouldn’t be total, so that absence of intimacy wouldn’t become an obstacle in and of itself. Spouses do have a duty of intimacy to each other.
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I consider “privacy” different than “time alone”. To me, “privacy” implies a need to keep something hidden, or that their is a level of discomfort with a certain aspect of the relationship. “Time alone” as you described it, could be, depending on the circumstances, necessary and even renewing. The scripture you quoted is a good example of that. I don’t think this addresses a need for privacy though, and in my opinion, privacy has no place in a marriage relationship.
 
i am a newlywed, (two weeks ago) and we’re waiting for the king mattress to be delivered and for the past week i’ve been on the couch, she’s in the single bed. and we were laughing about it last night…but it really is not the ideal situation to be in different rooms.

not a situation we like, but until the bed comes… its the way it is.
we just laugh thinking if only our family and friends new that the newlyweds kiss goodnight and retire to seperate rooms…🙂
 
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thechrismyster:
i am a newlywed, (two weeks ago) and we’re waiting for the king mattress to be delivered and for the past week i’ve been on the couch, she’s in the single bed. and we were laughing about it last night…but it really is not the ideal situation to be in different rooms.

not a situation we like, but until the bed comes… its the way it is.
we just laugh thinking if only our family and friends new that the newlyweds kiss goodnight and retire to seperate rooms…🙂
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Your a newlywed and you already got booted to the couch.:rolleyes:
 
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arso347:
I don’t think this addresses a need for privacy though, and in my opinion, privacy has no place in a marriage relationship.
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But don’t you agree that some words should be tasted for a very long time? Don’t you agree that there are some things that, if they cannot be shared kindly, should not be shared at all? Don’t you think that a spouse who has not conquered the fault of indiscretion also must rightly be kept in the dark at times?

There is a reason God didn’t make married couples mind-readers. It is okay to keep some things, well, private. Having said that, some serious self-policing is in order. (You out there — you know who you are!)
 
I’m usually on this forum real late at night because my husband works afternoons and doesn’t get home til 2 am and I have a hard time sleeping without him. I have noticed as years have gone by the need for room in the bed we share as increased. When we were newly weds we’d fall asleep cuddling, I can’t fall alseep like that now- I need to be on my side of the bed.

Felix is your spouse as interested in having separate bedrooms as you are? Because if your other half is not then I would say no it’s not ok, I think it would be damaging to the marriage. Is bedtime the only time you can find time to yourself?

Everyones’s relationship is diffrent( I’m really finding that out on this forum) but for myself I would feel rejected if my husband did not want to share a bed with me. If that person wants to be in the bed when their “in the mood” but on their own when they’re not, speaking for myself I’d be getting resentful and feeling used pretty darn quick.

There is a term callled “married single” that’s often used in marriage encounter. I think this scenario has a danger of falling into that category.
 
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rayne89:
Felix is your spouse as interested in having separate bedrooms as you are? Because if your other half is not then I would say no it’s not ok, I think it would be damaging to the marriage. Is bedtime the only time you can find time to yourself?

Everyones’s relationship is diffrent( I’m really finding that out on this forum) but for myself I would feel rejected if my husband did not want to share a bed with me. If that person wants to be in the bed when their “in the mood” but on their own when they’re not, speaking for myself I’d be getting resentful and feeling used pretty darn quick.

There is a term callled “married single” that’s often used in marriage encounter. I think this scenario has a danger of falling into that category.
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Strangely enough, this is not a serious “practical” queston for me as I know my wife would not want separate beds and besides, we don’t have any rooms to spare!

Similar to your experience, my wife likes me to be there to fall asleep as well. I’m fine with that…just mark it up as a Mars/Venus thing. I wonder if it is more of a female thing vs. male?

Anyway, I like the variety of response…and it does make me think.
 
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FelixBlue:
Strangely enough, this is not a serious “practical” queston for me as I know my wife would not want separate beds and besides, we don’t have any rooms to spare!
… I’m fine with that…just mark it up as a Mars/Venus thing. I wonder if it is more of a female thing vs. male?
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Is this about having to have pink walls and a lacy bedspread?
 
My grandparents slept in separate beds for as long as I can remember. They just had different sleeping habits & found that if they wanted to get a good night’s sleep they had to sleep in separate beds.
 
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arso347:
Why in the world would you want “privacy” from your spouse?

Not a good sign.
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When we went on our honeymoon almost 20 years ago, we spent every minute together at a resort for 5 days. We drove to our destination and back and by the end of the week I couldn’t wait to be alone. This is not to say I didn’t love or appreciate my husband and enjoy every minute I spent with him. However, both of us admitted we just wanted some time to be alone to miss one another and look forward to spending time together again.

I appreciate the fact that God has built in certain “down” times of the month for couples to avoid intimacy. I wouldn’t choose separate beds or bedrooms unless it was necessary due to age or illness or inability for one partner or the other to sleep. As it is now, the couch is for the one who occassionally can’t sleep (usually me) instead of tossing and turning and waking the other.
 
I’ve been trying to talk DH into getting bunk beds because he is a SERIOUS bed/blanket hog. We have a king size bed and I wake up in the middle of the night scrunched up on the corner of the bed as he is sprawled out in the middle of the bed with at least 2 feet empty on the other side of the bed…very practical reason for seperate beds! 😃

but he’s not goin’ for it.
 
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DeniseR:
When we went on our honeymoon almost 20 years ago, we spent every minute together at a resort for 5 days. We drove to our destination and back and by the end of the week I couldn’t wait to be alone. This is not to say I didn’t love or appreciate my husband and enjoy every minute I spent with him. However, both of us admitted we just wanted some time to be alone to miss one another and look forward to spending time together again.
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I think down time is fine, but the issue of privacy, to me, is completely different. Again, privacy implies more than time alone, it implies something hidden and personal. Keeping something personal hidden from your spouse is, in my opinion, asking for trouble.
 
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