Separate ministries as married couple?

[Mary_Anne1]

Hello,

My husband and I recently got married (about 10 months) and we attend mass together. God has blessed me with a strong singing voice and I love to sing. I have been singing in church choirs and other choirs since I was 15 or so. I feel that God gave me this voice so I need to use it to lead others in worship. When we got married I was a part of a show choir and we had moved to a new community where I joined the choir there. However I quit the show choir because I felt it didn’t fit into my new life. Around production time I knew I would have to be spending hours away from my husband night after night and I didn’t like that. In terms of church, my husband says he wants me to take part in my choir ministry but I know he hates to sit alone during mass and that he loves it when I sit next to him. Especially since we are newly married we never really had too many opportunities to attend mass together.
We have moved to another country for school and we attend mass together now. However I miss singing in the choir and I feel that I am not using my gift. I also don’t want my husband to attend mass alone. He has brought up me joining the choir once but in the same breath he commented that he doesn’t like to sit alone.

Any advice ?

 

[BillP]

You can join the choir and he can “offer it up”.

If it anything like our parish, the choir only sings at one Mass, so it’s only a hour a week, that he has to “sit alone”, and he can attend the same Mass and see you the whole time.

 

[omegapd]

Use your gifts. He’ll be fine. Get involved in the church and meet plenty of people. He doesn’t have to sit alone. Look into something like the Knights of Columbus where he can get involved a couple of times a month and meet the other men in the Parish. I’ve made some tremendous friendships in my church- but it took a little time and effort.

God Bless you both.

 

[hannajomar]

My husband and I are in different ministries. In many cases it can be emotionally healthy for everyone. If you really want to sit together at Mass, like another poster said, you can attend an additional Mass, even once in a while.

 

[Mumbles140]

Are there any areas he can be involved in during mass, such as Usher, Lector, or others? That way, he is not solely participating by attendance, and maybe that will be enough to remove any distress from his mind.

 

[Catholic1954]

God has given you the gift of singing and you should use it in praise of Him. If your husband is that insecure about sitting alone during Mass, then you can attend together at another time and he can stay home and sleep in when you sing.