Separating oneself from worldly attachments and comforts

[kgerber20]

Hi all,
So… I’m trying really hard to not care too much about comfort and that sort of thing but it’s really hard for me. I’m in college so I don’t know exactly where God is going to call me to be after I’m done with school (I mean, I have some general ideas i.e. I’m a nursing major so I will be some sort of nurse) but I don’t know exactly what that means. But I do know that I am definitely too attached to a lot of worldly comforts. Just random stuff like clothes, food, etc. But I don’t know how to stop being so attached to everything! Like, what if God is calling me to live a life of poverty? But how can I live a life of poverty if I love wealth too much? I WANT to be willing to live in poverty but I honestly don’t know how I CAN be willing. I just keep praying. But it doesn’t seem like my heart is changing that much because I’ve been praying about this a long long time and I still love the things of this world so much. Any advice?

 

[clem456]

Good luck. I am 52 and still struggling with this one. God desires our complete love, why can’t I desire him alone. Why am I concerned with puffing myself up, eating too many cookies, etc etc etc…

St John of the Cross is very helpful in this area, although he will not give you a formula for success. The conclusion I have come to is, there is no easy way. Fasting and prayer. Start small. God is found in the place where there is no sweetness and consolation, according to St John of the Cross.

 

[clem456]

From letter 13
“To a discalced Carmelite Friar”.

John responds to one of his fellow Carmelite friars who sought his advice on how to occupy one’s will in God alone “by loving God above all things.” John’s long reply to the friar includes the following passage:

   Loving God purely, above all things means centering all the strength of one's will on God. In being bound and attached to [a] creature by means of the appetite, the will does not rise above it to God, who is inaccessible. It is impossible for the will to reach the sweetness and delight of the divine union and receive and feel the sweet and loving embraces of God without the nakedness and void of its appetite with respect to every particular satisfaction, earthly and heavenly. This is what David meant when he said: Dilata os tuum et implebo illud "open wide your mouth and I will fill it" (Ps 81:10)].

   It is worth knowing, then, that the appetite is the mouth of the will. It is opened wide when it is not encumbered or occupied with any mouthful of pleasure. When the appetite is centered on something, it becomes narrow by that very fact, since outside of God everything is narrow. That the soul have success in journeying to God and being joined to God, it must have the mouth of its will opened only to God himself, empty and dispossessed of every morsel of appetite, so God may fill it with his love and sweetness; and it must remain with this hunger and thirst for God alone, without desiring to be satisfied with any other thing, since here below it cannot enjoy God as he is in himself. And what is enjoyable if there is a desire for it, as I say impedes this union. Isaiah taught this when he said: All who thirst, come to the waters [Is.55:1]. He invites to the abundance of the divine waters of union with God only those who thirst for God alone and who have no money, that is appetites.

   It is very important and fitting for Your Reverence, if you desire to possess profound peace in your soul and attain perfection, that you surrender your whole will to God so that it may this be united with God and that you do not let it be occupied with the vile and base things of earth.

   May His majesty make you as spiritual and holy as I desire you to be.

I find this road to be very narrow and difficult as advertised.

 

[clem456]

Thanks for bringing this subject to the forum this morning. It is a good opportunity to pray about this.

Anxiety can result when trying to attain holiness and perfection.
“We are at war with ourselves” to paraphrase St Paul.
Trying to attain holiness and perfection for it’s own sake does not work for me. I try to remember that love of God is a virtue that God gives to us, first, before we can love him. He gives us the virtue to return his love. Cooperation with God through prayer and fasting can be a first step to receiving his grace. That’s what I need to keep working on. Less focus on attaining and acquiring.

 

[JM3]

"Endeavor humbly first to learn and then to practice the less important matters, and if it be to your benefit, God will then grant you to understand what is more important, for it is written: "When a man knows the right thing to be done and does not do it, then he sins.“4”

Thomas a Kempis - A Little Garden of Roses

(4 - James 4:17)

 

[JM3]

“There can be days when we desire in prayer a more radical offering to God, and then, later, turn casually away from a small sacrifice because it does not seem significant enough for our aspiration. A deeper surrender to God is delayed in that refusal. What God asks of us is often found in the small hour, the small gesture, the small gift. It may be the most trivial mortifications we refuse that keep a greater awareness of his hidden presence from lighting up our soul. God’s concealed presence requires an alertness to these subtle promptings to sacrifice. If we do not deny ourselves in smaller ways, we may soon prefer a God who blesses our own biases and propensities. Unfortunately, this God is not real. God is close to us when we make ourselves accessible to his requests. This means to expect small testings in which our own preference has often to be denied. If we avoid this and find ways around it, the God who hides may be more concealed and unreachable when we do pray.”

Contemplative Provocations by Fr. Donald Haggerty

 

[Bonnie]

Prayer to Saint Clare

God of mercy, You inspired Saint Clare with the love of poverty. By the help of her prayers may we follow Christ in poverty of spirit and come to the joyful vision of Your glory in the Kingdom of Heaven. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, Who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, One God, forever and ever. Amen.

Don’t fret about circumstances. All too often life will hand you poverty when you least expect it. Just be willing to share the good things God has given you in the present.

 

[jritenour]

Take every day 24 hours at a time if you have to. That has worked well for me. Sometimes I forgot though I will pray for you!

 

[gyrene]

I am glad to see this topic being discussed. I too, am suffering with trying to accomplish all that is expected of us when we attempt to be ready to go to the next world.
I, just earlier in the year, lost my wife of 50 years, and am still trying to reconsile with that happening. I wasn’t anywhere near ready for that, and now, I am trying to prepare myself for the day that God calls me as well.
It seems that I have a closer connection with Heaven now that I know she is there, and can intercede for me in my feeble attempt to prepare myself for that enevitable day when I too will no longer be in this world.
In the site “America Needs Fatima”, there is a section called “The Voice of Jesus”, In that site, there is a lot of what God expects of us before we can ever hope to attain Heaven, and His presence.
As has been said, to try to accomplish all that is expected of us is an awsome task. All we can do is to do our best, and pray, pray, pray.
I have a booklet called the “Rosary for The Holy Souls”. It is dedicated to praying the Rosary for all the Souls in Purgatory. Scripture readings precede every Hail Mary, and they are all quite sobering. As was said, the secret is “detachment from this world” and seeking to be “attached” to His world. And, yes, that is one tall order.
Pray for each other. It is our strongest ally.

 

[Blessme2]

You are at a time in your life that is a strange one. Most people aren’t really independant in college and rely on their families for portion of their living expenses/tuttition/rent/car-health insurance, etc. Speaking from some experience, poverty comes natuarlly when there simply isn’t money to spend on things you might consider nice. if you aren’t fully finically independant, then remember that someone else is sacrificing so that you cared for even if you think that person has plenty and isn’t really doing much to obtain your share. the person whom they would help otherwise then is the one going without then.

all people need cloths, but we don’t need name brands, and in some cases, even new cloths.

the finical and wordly poverty is not the same as the spiritual poverty. One is the absense of things in ones life, and the other is an absense of one’s desires, passions in their spiritual life so that only gifts from God fill us.

the desire for wealth is not something that is from God, so you are right to want to lessen tendencies in your life to wealth, but its not a all poverty or all wealth choice that you are putting forth

the bishop for my dioscese answers questions about how he deals with a life of poverty by simply saying, that he didn’t take a vow of poverty. you may not be called to extreme poverty that religious orders undertake. You need to refocus on what God’s invitation to your secondary vocation is instead of being overwhelmed by how some are called to spirituallity.

 

[RoseMary131]

Hi all,
So… I’m trying really hard to not care too much about comfort and that sort of thing but it’s really hard for me. … I will be some sort of nurse) but I don’t know exactly what that means.

Just random stuff like clothes, food, etc. But I don’t know how to stop being so attached to everything! Like, what if God is calling me to live a life of poverty? But how can I live a life of poverty if I love wealth too much? I WANT to be willing to live in poverty but I honestly don’t know how I CAN be willing.

We do not have to live a life of poverty to do God’s will.

If God were to call you to a life of poverty, He would give you the means to do so at that time.

If life were to become devastated and you lost everything into a life of true poverty, God would help you manage. Even our neighbors who live in poverty deserve to have shelter, food, and clothing. We become God’s hands and help our neighbors around the world with their needs.

Being detached from material things, can still mean you can like clothes and food.

You can look nice in your clothes and eat healthy meals without being attached to them. You can be comfortable and use your money for housing and furniture - without being attached to them.

The fact that you plan to be a nurse, shows you want to help people.

What does living a life of poverty mean to you?

Do you feel you will be called to marriage and having children, religious life, or a single life?

 

[kgerber20]

We do not have to live a life of poverty to do God’s will.

If God were to call you to a life of poverty, He would give you the means to do so at that time.

If life were to become devastated and you lost everything into a life of true poverty, God would help you manage. Even our neighbors who live in poverty deserve to have shelter, food, and clothing. We become God’s hands and help our neighbors around the world with their needs.

Being detached from material things, can still mean you can like clothes and food.

You can look nice in your clothes and eat healthy meals without being attached to them. You can be comfortable and use your money for housing and furniture - without being attached to them.

The fact that you plan to be a nurse, shows you want to help people.

What does living a life of poverty mean to you?

Do you feel you will be called to marriage and having children, religious life, or a single life?

I know that actually HAVING stuff isn’t bad, it’s more being attached to them or feeling like I NEED them. Like, I love good/healthy food and I can’t imagine if that were completely taken away… I love running and basketball and I can’t imagine not being able to use my legs to run. I don’t care about brand names but I love my tshirts and shorts, what if I were forced to wear like ugly sweaters all the time?? idk the reason i’m thinking about all this is when i’m out on my own and actually independent (like, right now my parents help me out) then i’m going to have to make $ decisions. So I’m just trying to empty myself as much as possible from feeling like I need stuff. I guess… when you’re a kid, your family takes care of you so you don’t think about this. But when you’re an adult, you have to be inherently self-seeking to an extent (ie grocery shop for yourself, living arrangements) and so i’m just thinking ahead to how much I might have to sacrifice to be as charitable as I should be…

I think most likely marriage/children. That’s another thing, it’s probably important for my children to go to a good school so I need to provide for them.

 

[kgerber20]

I am glad to see this topic being discussed. I too, am suffering with trying to accomplish all that is expected of us when we attempt to be ready to go to the next world.
I, just earlier in the year, lost my wife of 50 years, and am still trying to reconsile with that happening. I wasn’t anywhere near ready for that, and now, I am trying to prepare myself for the day that God calls me as well.
It seems that I have a closer connection with Heaven now that I know she is there, and can intercede for me in my feeble attempt to prepare myself for that enevitable day when I too will no longer be in this world.
In the site “America Needs Fatima”, there is a section called “The Voice of Jesus”, In that site, there is a lot of what God expects of us before we can ever hope to attain Heaven, and His presence.
As has been said, to try to accomplish all that is expected of us is an awsome task. All we can do is to do our best, and pray, pray, pray.
I have a booklet called the “Rosary for The Holy Souls”. It is dedicated to praying the Rosary for all the Souls in Purgatory. Scripture readings precede every Hail Mary, and they are all quite sobering. As was said, the secret is “detachment from this world” and seeking to be “attached” to His world. And, yes, that is one tall order.
Pray for each other. It is our strongest ally.

Definitely, I will pray for you! And exactly, we are called to prepare ourselves for Heaven and that means emptying ourselves of worldly desires …

 

[kgerber20]

Take every day 24 hours at a time if you have to. That has worked well for me. Sometimes I forgot though I will pray for you!

Definitely, day at a time haha … especially when you’re in college and feel like you’re drowning in work/exams

prayin for ya

 

[kgerber20]

Thanks for bringing this subject to the forum this morning. It is a good opportunity to pray about this.

Anxiety can result when trying to attain holiness and perfection.
“We are at war with ourselves” to paraphrase St Paul.
Trying to attain holiness and perfection for it’s own sake does not work for me. I try to remember that love of God is a virtue that God gives to us, first, before we can love him. He gives us the virtue to return his love. Cooperation with God through prayer and fasting can be a first step to receiving his grace. That’s what I need to keep working on. Less focus on attaining and acquiring.

i agree about the anxiety part. it’s like, in the spiritual life we can either choose to be “ok” with where we are, or we can fight really hard to grow in holiness! But the problem is sometimes it’s so hard when it’s clear that Jesus really does want us to trust Him with everything and to truly seek Him ALONE.

 

[RoseMary131]

I know that actually HAVING stuff isn’t bad, it’s more being attached to them or feeling like I NEED them. Like, I love **good/healthy food **and I can’t imagine if that were completely taken away… I love running and basketball and I can’t imagine not being able to use my legs to run. I don’t care about brand names but I love my tshirts and shorts, what if I were forced to wear like ugly sweaters all the time?? idk the reason i’m thinking about all this is when i’m out on my own and actually independent (like, right now my parents help me out) then i’m going to have to make $ decisions. So I’m just trying to empty myself as much as possible from feeling like I need stuff. I guess… when you’re a kid, your family takes care of you so you don’t think about this. But when you’re an adult, you have to be inherently self-seeking to an extent (ie grocery shop for yourself, living arrangements) and so i’m just thinking ahead to how much I might have to sacrifice to be as charitable as I should be…

I think most likely marriage/children. That’s another thing, it’s probably important for my children to go to a good school so I need to provide for them.

You are very wise and it sounds like you are not attached to worldly things.

A desire for good healthy food is not an attachment to worldly things - its taking good care of your body.

A desire to have two healthy legs - and a healthy body - is not worldly attachment.

You probably don’t have to be concern that someone will force you to wear ugly sweaters. If you aren’t use to purchasing your own clothes, you can learn to do so now. You can see by shopping sales, clearance, and with coupons - you can get clothes you like at little price. Thrift stores can bring wonderful things and very little costs. For your children, you will probably find friends who are happy to pass along their gently worn children’s clothes to your children.

You can begin learning now how to shop for groceries - sales, store brands, healthy whole foods instead of prepared foods - can save you money.

The desire to also be charitable to others, says you have a loving heart. Donations of time, talent, and treasure - allows you to be generous even if your income is smaller.

Seeing you want to earn the money to provide a good education to your children is responsible.

You are traveling in the right direction. God’s Blessings on you in your studies.

 

[gkoomen]

I have struggled for quite a while with trying to detach myself from ‘things’ and creatures. I thought it would make me more holy - it just left me frustrated. Now I’ve chosen a different approach - that of growing more attached to God. I have arranged my day so I spend more quality time with Him, and letting things that seemed so important fall away… I just don’t have as much time for those ‘things’. He is such a delight that I think of them much less. So far, it’s working much better for me. Curl up in His arms and let Him love you - you won’t be thinking much about your wardrobe etc.

 

[ElisabethM]

Read “Happy Are You Poor” by Fr. Thomas Dubay. You’ll WANT to get rid of a lot of your stuff you really don’t need after reading it.

We all are called to poverty which is the fruit of meditating on the 3rd Joyful Mystery, the Nativity. We are all called to live with needs, not wants. Easy if you’re a cloistered nun; very difficult if you’re living out in the world.

The first step on this narrow road is recognizing the need for detachment from worldly things–so you have begun!

em

 

[gyrene]

At my advanced age, I am just beginning to see the reality of what this earth, and it’s trappings, are doing to people. Just look at what has happened in the last 50 years. So many of the ways by which we were living back then have simply been drowned out by the “anti-religious” wing. They may not command a majority, but they do make the majority of the noise. And, the upcoming generations seem to be simply lost in the onslaught of “anti-God” sentiment. It’s easier to put aside all the commotion, and just “do my thing”. The time will shortly come when they will not be able to do anything without being instructed as to what, and when, to do anything. And, you can bet that Almighty God will not be in the instruction manual, either.
As far as separation from this world, that needs to be fostered, big time, and right now.
I am a firm believer of Fatima, and the Blessed Mother’s warnings. The 100 year anniversary is coming up in another 4 years. Do we really think that God is going to just let what is happening continue on? I don’t think so.
My pastor had an idea who’s time has come. Pray for “detachment” from this world, and continuing “re-attachment” to the world to come.

 

[jjgall]

Detachment from what is not God comes about when we have developed a relationship with God otherwise we are working on our own egos and trying to convince God that we can do these things to attract his attention. Starting a relationship with God is similar to starting a relationship with anyone. We start with being friendly and then move to friendship and then to intimacy. Do not have any expectations or ambitions just allow yourself to be with Him and let him do the work in you. You don’t have to crucify yourself to be with him. Just let Him be.
Silent prayer or contemplative prayer is essential to listen to God in silence as this the language of God. Above all stay with God without expectation or desires.
.