Greenfields,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I, too, am currently separated from my husband, and the healing process is long, painful and confusing. Quite frankly, in my husband’s case, I don’t really think the healing has begun at all. He pays great lip service to fixing things, but he’s done painfully little. Further, he has done a few other things since the separation that negate any good he might think he’s doing.
Is there any chance you would share the reasons for your separation?
My husband had a relationship with another woman for over a year. I discovered it a few months after it started, at which point he said he would stop communicating with her. I found out months later that he (either) never stopped, or resumed, and I took the kids and left for my family home.