Serious dating and military service

[muffinmojo]

I’m 17 and a junior in high school. I’ve had essentially one serious girlfriend, and we have been together for 2 and 1/2 years, roughly.She is highly motivated and wants to be a doctor. She skipped two grades of high school and is now in college(she’s a few months younger than I am). I want to be a US Marine. Sometime this summer/ early next year i’m going to go to a recruiting station and start making it official. It’s something I am very determined to do, I feel like I need to do it, to grow as a person and to be the best man and the best husband I could be (for any future wife, as I know high school relationships rarely last, though I hope that is not the fate of this one). For any that have military experience, I plan to enlist as 03xx, infantry.

Does anyone have any experience with this type of long-distance relationship? It’s different in the sense that I couldn’t simply take time off to go visit her, I would live far away (we don’t live anywhere close to a Marine or Navy base), and deployments would make it hard to communicate even over the phone.We’ve really grown up together, and the people we are now (the foundations for our adult selves) are very closely tied together…it might sound silly to you all, but I can’t imagine my life without her. We both hope that marriage lies somewhere in our future. Are we just doomed if I enlist? Advice from military/former military especially appreciated

 

[Cajun_Girl]

You don’t sound silly at all. My cousin is happily married to his high school sweetheart, so it does happen!

I’m not sure if our circumstances are very much alike, but I’ll tell you about my experience in case it helps. My husband is a reservist and was deployed six months after our marriage. I won’t lie–it was probably the worst period in my life. We were able to talk on the phone every night after 9:00 (so that I wouldn’t be charged for cell phone minutes) and email during the day. I sent him care packages, and he sent home some beautiful seashells that his friend found while diving in the ocean. We might have benefitted from a web cam, since not being able to see him was the worst part.

We don’t regret that we had to go through this ordeal so early in our marriage because we were able to use the money he earned to put a down payment on our new house. Because of this, we can now afford for me to stay home with our baby. Joining the military can definitely give you opportunities that will increase the quality of life for your loved ones in the future.

I can’t say if your current relationship will survive your absence, but I can say that it’s possible to have a relationship while in the military. Your girlfriend sounds very mature to be in college at such a young age. Perhaps she will be able to endure a long-distance relationship, especially since your relationship already has a foundation. You’re both very young, so there isn’t any real knowing at this point. . .Nor is there any knowing if this relationship would last if you did not join the military. Just remember that plenty of Marines have gotten married in the past.

Plus, the first time I saw my sweetie standing at my door in his very handsome uniform, I knew I was in love with him. . .Don’t forget the power of the uniform.

 

[armywife]

Well, it can be done but she’s got about eight years of school left. Will your relationship last, I can’t say. My husband and I have been married eight years and he’s been gone for about half with his third continuous year-on-year-off deployment coming up. That said, we were already married and so was the previous poster so I think your situation is different.

You’re both young enough that you should go off and do what you each want to do. If your relationship works out, then great, but know that it may not. I think that you need to do what you want at this age, each of you then see where you stand.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Awww.

You’ve gotten good advice here. I would further it by just deepening your friendship with this brilliant girl. And make yourself the best, most worthy person you can be. (The USMC will help you a LOT in that regard!!!)

Email and texting and webcams have done a lot to keep distant couples feel connected. I have lots of military in my family. It can be done.

If your relationship is really founded on love of God and each other, 8 years of med school and training/deployments will fly by and you will both emerge at the other end with a world of experience, training, development and be head and shoulders above peers who only went to college and drank themselves into a coma for years.

And never underestimate the power of that dress uniform.

Thank you for wanting to serve. The Marines are awesome and I’m sure you will be too.

Just be a really good friend. Give her unconditional and mature love. Maybe you will be the gold standard by which she judges all other men for 8 years and then you will emerge as her first choice.

A focused ambitious young woman will respect that in you and it will not deter her while she is pursuing her goal. And a medical degree is one that can be used anywhere. So I see lots of reason for hope here. Good luck, and thank you for wanting to serve.