Serious disrespect to parents?

[benkim]

What is serious disrespect to parents? I got frustrated with my mom recently when she was nagging me about something and I got really annoyed and raised my voice and told her to be quiet. Is that serious disrespect or would serious disrespect be cursing at your parents?

 

[Christy_Beth]

I think that you raising your voice to tell her to be quiet isn’t disrespectful. If she is nagging you that bad, there is something wrong somewhere. Perhaps she is being overprotective, is too picky about what you do, who you’re with or even just laying on the guilt. When this happens again, tell her that the two of you need to talk. If possible, add a third party to help keep things civil. Not your dad, perhaps an aunt or uncle. I think your dad would be too close to the situation to be unbiased. Talk with you minister as well. He/she may be able to offer some help here. Don’t let her get to her, I know that sort of stuff is worse than annoying. But give it a try for a few days and see if it works.

 

[Matthias123]

This is where most of my venial sins come from. It is a strugle for most teenagers/young adults. I have tried very hard to conquer this. I feel for you.

Severe disrespect would be using profanities maliciously against them. Striking them or attempting to strike them. Screaming at the top of your lungs at them. Grievously insulting them somehow. Disobeying them on a very grave matter for no just reason.

Anything short of that would probably be a venial sin.

If your mother is angering you just see it as a opportunity from God to practice the virtue of patience. Patience is the virtue that conquers the deadly sin of Wrath(anger).

 

[bbentrup]

This is where most of my venial sins come from. It is a strugle for most teenagers/young adults. I have tried very hard to conquer this. I feel for you.

Severe disrespect would be using profanities maliciously against them. Striking them or attempting to strike them. Screaming at the top of your lungs at them. Grievously insulting them somehow. Disobeying them on a very grave matter for no just reason.

Anything short of that would probably be a venial sin.

If your mother is angering you just see it as a opportunity from God to practice the virtue of patience. Patience is the virtue that conquers the deadly sin of Wrath(anger).

Good answer.

 

[KingAlfred]

It’s hard when you’re young and your parents are still instrumental in supporting you. Once you enter middle age, however, and your parents are very old, it becomes rather obvious how important it is to respect them, as you now must support them, at least emotionally, as they approach the end of their lives. When we’re young, it’s all about ‘us’, and we lose sight of the need to actively respect our parents.

 

[benkim]

So basically it may be disrespectful to yell at my mom three times to be quiet, but it’s not something thats SERIOUSLY disrespectful since it basically falls short of striking her, screaming at the top of my lungs at her, etc etc?

 

[JRKH]

What is serious disrespect to parents? I got frustrated with my mom recently when she was nagging me about something and I got really annoyed and raised my voice and told her to be quiet. Is that serious disrespect or would serious disrespect be cursing at your parents?

I don’t think anyone here can give you a good answer to this. You should get yourself to confession and talk to your priest about it. He will have the best insight for you.

I can tell you this. If I had raised my voice and told my mother to be quiet, I would have found my rear end busted by my dad, ad with good reason. If I was being “verbally disciplined” (Nagging??) I had better just shut up and listen.

You got frustrated and annoyed. This caused you to treat your mother with disrespect. This is a sin. How Serious? Why does that matter? Are you trying to determine if it’s OK to sin this much but no more?
It is a sin and you need to confess it and work on improving. If your mother has issues, then she needs to work on them as well. Her issues do not excuse your actions and your sin.

Peace
James

 

[benkim]

You got frustrated and annoyed. This caused you to treat your mother with disrespect. This is a sin. How Serious? Why does that matter? Are you trying to determine if it’s OK to sin this much but no more?

Because disrespect in itself isn’t a mortal sin but serious disrespect is, and I want to determine whether I actually have to go to Confession or not.

As I asked before: Basically it may be disrespectful to yell at my mom three times to be quiet, but it’s not something thats seriously disrespectful since it basically falls short of striking her, screaming at the top of my lungs at her, etc etc?

 

[JRKH]

Because disrespect in itself isn’t a mortal sin but serious disrespect is, and I want to determine whether I actually have to go to Confession or not.

As I asked before: Basically it may be disrespectful to yell at my mom three times to be quiet, but it’s not something thats seriously disrespectful since it basically falls short of striking her, screaming at the top of my lungs at her, etc etc?

I can tell you this. If the sin is bothering you enough that you feel the need to ask if it is a mortal sin, then you need to get to confession. It isn’t for us to tell you what is or isn’t a mortal sin, that is between you and your confessor.

My advise is to get to confession as soon as possible and talk it oover with the priest.
Also, don’t think you only need to go to confession for mortal sins. We all need the regenerative power of the sacrament whether it’s for mortal sins or venial.

Peace
James

 

[Neil_Anthony]

As I asked before: Basically it may be disrespectful to yell at my mom three times to be quiet, but it’s not something thats seriously disrespectful since it basically falls short of striking her, screaming at the top of my lungs at her, etc etc?

If you **yelled **at her **three **times, I’d say thats crossed the line and could be serious. You should go to confession.

 

[KingAlfred]

So basically it may be disrespectful to yell at my mom three times to be quiet, but it’s not something thats SERIOUSLY disrespectful since it basically falls short of striking her, screaming at the top of my lungs at her, etc etc?

No…that’s disrespectful. What will it take for you to discipline yourself not to do that? Are you using your mother as a scapegoat? If so, get help. Confession may not be enough. You might need counselling. Something tells me there’s no father present here.

 

[benkim]

Wait I don’t get the difference between yelling and raising my voice. Aren’t they the same thing? Basically my mom was nagging me about going on the computer (it would be too complicated to explain here I think so I won’t) and I got really annoyed and I raised my voice to tell her to be quiet three times because each time I told her to be quiet she wouldn’t stop and after the third time telling her to be quiet I just gave up and let her go on.

 

[JRKH]

Wait I don’t get the difference between yelling and raising my voice. Aren’t they the same thing? Basically my mom was nagging me about going on the computer (it would be too complicated to explain here I think so I won’t) and I got really annoyed and I raised my voice to tell her to be quiet three times because each time I told her to be quiet she wouldn’t stop and after the third time telling her to be quiet I just gave up and let her go on.

Go to confession.

Peace
James

 

[benkim]

I don’t mean to sound rude, but whether I should go to confession is not something I want to know. I want to know what is considered seriously disrespectful and Matthias123 gave a good response since he actually answered my question in the original post. No, I’m not favoring his response in particular because he said something I wanted to hear, but rather because he actually answered the question. Telling me to “go to confession” or “get counseling” or asking me if I’m trying to use my mom as a scapegoat (which is a question that I don’t even feel is relevant to anything I said). None of those answers my question and I’ll decide whether I should go to confession or ask my priest myself. As for now I just want to know what people consider serious disrespect and disrespect.

 

[Matthias123]

I don’t mean to sound rude, but whether I should go to confession is not something I want to know. I want to know what is considered seriously disrespectful and Matthias123 gave a good response since he actually answered my question in the original post. No, I’m not favoring his response in particular because he said something I wanted to hear, but rather because he actually answered the question. Telling me to “go to confession” or “get counseling” or asking me if I’m trying to use my mom as a scapegoat (which is a question that I don’t even feel is relevant to anything I said). None of those answers my question and I’ll decide whether I should go to confession or ask my priest myself. As for now I just want to know what people consider serious disrespect and disrespect.

With respect to all the above posters I must disagree on a few points. The OP was not trying to figure out how much he could get away with. He was trying to figure out if what he did broke his relationship with our Lord. Now I agree with most of your recommendations. Confession for this matter is a good idea because it is an area he needs to work on. However determining whether on not such a sin is mortal or not is a legitimate undertaking.

No amount of disrespect to ones parents is ever morally acceptable. However due to original sin some disrespect is going to happen. It is important to have your conscience formed properly to know when such actions are disordered or gravely disorder.

I also get the impression from some people that they view that just because it is not a mortal sin one should not make every possible attempt to amend that behavior. Our whole life should be spend eliminating our little imperfections. I highly doubt just because the OP actions were not gravely discorded it would give him an excuse to continue with the immorality rather then use it as an opportunity to practice virtues.

Keep in mind Benkin that you are going to get an array of different opinions due to the fact that we are all raised with different levels of discipline. Some children were not allowed to even speak when their parents were nagging at them or they are punished. To them any kind of anger projected upon parents would seem to them like a grave matter. Then there are those on the other end of the spectrum who had parents that would tolerate anything. These people may be giving an overly lax response. I submit that the responses in this thread are biased due to the different kind of upbringings we have all have.

Therefore you should take everyones opinion into account. Speak to our Lord Jesus, and ask him to help you form you conscience correctly. Consult you confessor and ask him for his assistance. Possibly consult scripture or the CCC. Then you must decided without bias, what would be an offense significant enough to separate yourself from our Lord Jesus Christ. In the words a confessor that I had “Only you can determine whether you have committed a mortal sin”

Pax Christi

 

[juliasmith]

So basically it may be disrespectful to yell at my mom three times to be quiet, but it’s not something thats SERIOUSLY disrespectful since it basically falls short of striking her, screaming at the top of my lungs at her, etc etc?

Sorry, I have to disagree with everyone here. This is one of my pet peeves with the younger generation. It IS EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL. Who are you to raise your voice to the woman who gave birth to you, changed your diapers, fed you , and got this far? It is NEVER okay to raise your voice to her. You might not agree with her. She might be nagging, but you are wrong to yell at her. It is shameful behavior. And it is disgusting as well. And yes, I believe it is a sin. I believe there is a significance to its being listed before the commands to refrain from stealing, murder, adultery, etc.It is extremely important to show your parents the utmost respect. It follows directly after the commands to put God and his sabbath first. I think that is important to note.

Remember, The command to respect your parents is the only one that comes with a curse should you break it.

“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”

In other words, don’t respect your parents and you’ll live a short, bad (cursed) life.

 

[KingAlfred]

I don’t mean to sound rude, but whether I should go to confession is not something I want to know. I want to know what is considered seriously disrespectful and Matthias123 gave a good response since he actually answered my question in the original post. No, I’m not favoring his response in particular because he said something I wanted to hear, but rather because he actually answered the question. Telling me to “go to confession” or “get counseling” or asking me if I’m trying to use my mom as a scapegoat (which is a question that I don’t even feel is relevant to anything I said). None of those answers my question and I’ll decide whether I should go to confession or ask my priest myself. As for now I just want to know what people consider serious disrespect and disrespect.

Well, young man, if you didn’t want to hear our answers, you shouldn’t have asked us your question. You are being disrespectful to your mother. End of story.

 

[benkim]

You know what? I wanted to hear your responses and I would have been fine with some of your suggestions such as “go to your priest and talk to him” or “go to confession.” I wanted to hear an array of different opinions until people started telling me that I should get counseling and suggesting that I wanted to find out how much I could get away with and even suggesting that I’m trying to make my mom a scapegoat. Where in any of my posts does it even suggest that I’m trying to use my mom as a scapegoat. Matthias123 was correct when he said that I’m going to get an array of different answers because everybody was raised in a different environment and because some people are parents so something like I did would be considered very disrespectful, disrespectful, somewhat disrespectful, or not disrespectful at all by others. Since the answer to my question is something that is obviously your opinion, you shouldn’t even act as though your answer is the definitive answer. So basically KingAlfred I wanted to see answers but more importantly I wanted to see answers to my question. Telling me that I need counseling is not an answer to my question and suggesting that I don’t have a father figure isn’t an answer to my question. Especially since you hardly know anything about my family situation. The best response I’ve had so far was from Matthias123, I believe because he answered the question and gave me VALID SUGGESTIONS without insinuating anything.

 

[KingAlfred]

You know what? I wanted to hear your responses and I would have been fine with some of your suggestions such as “go to your priest and talk to him” or “go to confession.” I wanted to hear an array of different opinions until people started telling me that I should get counseling and suggesting that I wanted to find out how much I could get away with and even suggesting that I’m trying to make my mom a scapegoat. Where in any of my posts does it even suggest that I’m trying to use my mom as a scapegoat. Matthias123 was correct when he said that I’m going to get an array of different answers because everybody was raised in a different environment and because some people are parents so something like I did would be considered very disrespectful, disrespectful, somewhat disrespectful, or not disrespectful at all by others. Since the answer to my question is something that is obviously your opinion, you shouldn’t even act as though your answer is the definitive answer. So basically KingAlfred I wanted to see answers but more importantly I wanted to see answers to my question. Telling me that I need counseling is not an answer to my question and suggesting that I don’t have a father figure isn’t an answer to my question. Especially since you hardly know anything about my family situation. The best response I’ve had so far was from Matthias123, I believe because he answered the question and gave me VALID SUGGESTIONS without insinuating anything.

It’s obvious to me you have anger issues. Look how you’ve reacted to all this. And note you didn’t answer whether or not there is a father in the home. As a teacher in a low-income, massive, inner-city high school, I frequently encounter young men, fatherless, living alone with their mothers and grandmothers, whom they abuse because they can get away with it. Truthfully, and with no intention of disrespecting you, I sense something similar in you. You come across as an angry young person. Sorry. If you want me to depart from this conversation, I will.

 

[benkim]

I typed out a long response to what you said KingAlfred, but I decided not to post it on this thread because I don’t want to have a conversation that is irrelevant to the topic. Instead I decided to to PM it to you.