Serious Family Problem

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Lost_Wanderer

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Okay, um, this may come off as a bad surprise to those who are familiar with me here but I’ve actually had a very huge problem with my family these past months.

Just a few hours ago though was sorta like the last straw and I felt like this was the only place I knew to get advice.
Many months ago, my mom caught my dad having an affair and things pretty much started going downhill from there. What’s worse though was that my dad first denied it and it was only until my mom asked my cousins to investigate did she find out.

It was really devastating for her and I myself am not too happy with my dad for what he did. Every night, I would occasionally hear them fight. My mom has now taken to drinking heavily just for her to cope with the trauma. My dad… well. I think he also feels really sorry for what he did. I still don’t think it’s sorry enough in my opinion. However, his temper really fires up when my mom gets drunk and starts going crazy.

Now I’m stuck between comforting my distressed mother all the while putting up with a hardheaded dad who doesn’t seem to like being held accountable. It’s been really hard for me. We’ve got enough on our plate already with financial problems (which, I may add, is another thing my dad didn’t handle well). It’s bad enough that I’m having trouble getting good grades and now I have to play therapist.

I’ve already prayed and still keep praying to God for a way to fix this. I may not be the most religious or virtuous Catholic I know but my mom told me that I have a really strong faith and it’s what keeps her going actually (which only makes me more guilty and worried about what to do).

What should I do? I wanna help my mom through this but her drinking just makes it worse. On the other hand, I can’t even talk straight to my dad anymore. He doesn’t exactly hold firm to Catholic or conservative values as much as he used to.
 
Wow… you do have a lot on your shoulders. (((HUGS))) I’m so sorry you have to carry that burden.

Is there any way your parents can get to marital counseling? Maybe ask your parish priest if there are any resources through the church that may not be too expensive (since financial issues are already an issue)… and make sure they check their health insurance coverage - it may cover counseling.

As for you - counseling may help you as well. Maybe talk to your priest or school counselor (although you may not get the best advice faith-wise at school)…

I’m sorry you’re stuck in-between your parents like that. Try to focus on school, love your parents the best you can, and encourage them to see counseling… it would benefit the entire family.

Prayers for you.
 
First of all, in order to help your mom with her recent drinking problem …consider going to al anon meeting. al-anon.alateen.org/

You cannot help them without helping yourself first.

Secondly, confronting your dad’s infidelity is going to be a tough one unless you do it with your whole family together approaching him. But do it with love, not in an accusatory fashion. I wish there was an instruction book on it…but I am pretty sure that’s not possible. However, if he is willing as well as your mom, encourage them to perhaps go for family counseling or at least a retrouvaille retreat. retrovaille.org/

Keep praying for your family and remind your folks of your prayer. Do a novena asking God for his intercession. All things are possible with God. You will remain in my prayer.
 
I am praying for you. My sister and her daughter are going through the same thing. I really feel for my niece because I think that it is unfair for her to have to go through this on her own.
 
Prayers.

Please speak with your Priest or a trusted person at your Parish - RE teacher, deacon, youth minister.
 
It pains me to hear that you are in this situation. I’m sending hugs your way and will ask our Blessed Mother to comfort you. :console:
 
This is a situation beyond the scope of CAF. Please contact a trusted adult - school counselor, teacher, priest, doctor, etc. to discuss your circumstances and concerns.
 
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