Seriously looking for alternatives to impurity

[sinningcatholic]

i have been a Catholic in progress all my life. I BELIEVE.
However the loneliness of single living after being married==and when not married, indifferent to the Law for personal human support—is very divisive in my life now. i want so much to return to Jesus as my Lord and Guide. Undeerstanding that means you understand the ramifications.

God has CONTINUED to be fa ithful to me. but my INTEREST in remaining pure has been tested, if not damaged. I need people of like background to tell me how to proceed. I want to go to confession===BUT IN THE TRUE SENSE OF AVOIDING SIN AGAIN. this last 3 words has kept me from a true confession. Anyone???

 

[sinningcatholic]

P.S. I am NEW to this site and grateful to locate it. How will i know if any responses have been posted? thank you

 

[Sabda]

Welcome!
We are all works in progress, so your not alone. Jesus Christ came to save sinners and the Church is our hospital. The very BEST thing you can do right now is to go to confession and make it a regular habit. Jesus Christ gave us the Sacrament of Reconciliation to help us in our problem areas. Lay it all out to the priest. He’ll be able to give you some really good advice. You’ll get some good advice here too, so keep posting and reading.

 

[dulcissima]

I want to go to confession===BUT IN THE TRUE SENSE OF AVOIDING SIN AGAIN. this last 3 words has kept me from a true confession. Anyone???

I am not totally sure what it is that you are saying here…you don’t really want to stop sinning or that you don’t want to avoid the near occassion of sin???

 

[scylla]

I understand what you mean, you want to go to confession and then don’t do that sin again.
You want to reform your life…Is that right?

Most of us want that and sometimes it is very difficult. For some of us it is like those people who one day just stop smoking, for others they fall and get up and eventually stop.

It is different for all of us and all depends on our personal resolve, character, desires and love of God.

Go ahead, it takes a real Catholic to go to Confession and takes courage especially if you are struggling. It is well worth it, you just need to be willing to do it and have the resolve.

There are plenty of people here to help and give you advice on most any subject. Maybe after a while you might think there are too many people wiling to give you advice, so enjoy being here and hopefully this is helpful to you.

God Bless
Scylla

 

[sinningcatholic]

I understand what you mean, you want to go to confession and then don’t do that sin again.
You want to reform your life…Is that right?

Most of us want that and sometimes it is very difficult. For some of us it is like those people who one day just stop smoking, for others they fall and get up and eventually stop.

It is different for all of us and all depends on our personal resolve, character, desires and love of God.

Go ahead, it takes a real Catholic to go to Confession and takes courage especially if you are struggling. It is well worth it, you just need to be willing to do it and have the resolve.

There are plenty of people here to help and give you advice on most any subject. Maybe after a while you might think there are too many people wiling to give you advice, so enjoy being here and hopefully this is helpful to you.

God Bless
Scylla

EXACTLY---- the nice thing about smoking is that there are measures to lower the withdraw sx of chemical withdrawl-=nicotine patches, anitanxiety rx for alcohol, concombinant with therapy.

Since i became a young widow, 40==am now 51—i would PREFER CHRIST. but i have lost committed contact with Him, I keep calling, sometimes yelling; and He responds in my my and conscious===but never forces my responses. He responds every time, but it seems so FAR AWAY.

HE HAS NOT PUNISHED ME, CAUSED ME GRIEF, FINANCIAL UPHEVEL, OR A CHANGE IN MEASURE OF LIFE COMFORT. THIS ALONE has caused me to write here.= I thought this was a stress period, but am VERY uncomfortable re the lenght of time and how complacent i am without asking God about EVERYTHING i do. That is my norm and i can’t understand why it’s gone. this is parallel to a victims identification with an abuser. my sinful life and evil is foreign==but the longer i am estranged from my ONLY GOD, the more familiar and reasonable my soul stealers become. i am afraid.

I have substantively changed in a way, much resembling–‘is that me, or is that a movie i am watching?’ any response you provide I WILL PRINT AND STUDY. i am so unhappy, and everything but my relationship with Jesus, my Defender, my Savior, the One Who will never LEAVE ME===IS so innocuous==i have no feeling; only thought. please respond because i am genuinely afraid of losing my soul. Or rather have a knowlege “Chinese Wall” of separation that i HAVE TO AGREE TO, and do, because i am so very tired. But i am so unhappy. love, m. hope you respond. If not, this is my plight; not yours to repair. love, maureen…

 

[sinningcatholic]

Welcome!
We are all works in progress, so your not alone. Jesus Christ came to save sinners and the Church is our hospital. The very BEST thing you can do right now is to go to confession and make it a regular habit. Jesus Christ gave us the Sacrament of Reconciliation to help us in our problem areas. Lay it all out to the priest. He’ll be able to give you some really good advice. You’ll get some good advice here too, so keep posting and reading.

Confession without a plan for avoid further sin is to me not a contrite and sincere confession. i will never promise not to sin again, but to go to Confession wih contrition, a desire to understand the underpinnings of my sin, and look to a foundation that will assist me to avoid any particular sin again.

Any thing your thoughts provide, I WILL TAKE SERIOUSLY. i fell like a king/queen of a land, having no merit for this gift, and all i ask for i am given. This world has lost it’s attraction. ps. i am a woman, but eluded to king and queen as i see gender equality and the merit of sin equal and gender neutral. i just wanted to be clear. love, maureen.

 

[InTheWilderness]

We are all human.

I had a very powerful experience with Confession a few months ago. I truly wished to sin no more.

Yet, I have stumbled and fallen since then.

I realize all success in this struggle is due to the grace of God, and that all failure is my own.

Yet, I have not given up on the struggle, and I do not avoid confession. (I may even go later today.) There is real grace in the sacraments.

I once had a similar idea as you seem to. I was hooked on pornography and masturbation. I thought there was no point in confessing something that I wasn’t going to be able to beat. However, the truth of the matter is that it is not within the grasp of fallen human nature to achieve perfection. We must surrender to God and trust in him. Confession is a very powerful tool in that process of surrendering our will to God.

I can’t really explain the experience I had, but I can offer the testimony that Confession is a very powerful sacrament, and you can receive much grace through it. Pornography has lost its power. Masturbation is still a terrible temptation, but it is losing its power as well.

I don’t really understand what your particular difficulty is, so I can offer you no real alternative. I can only suggest you should see a priest. Be willing to admit what it is that you have done, and what troubles you. Be willing to ask for help, and be willing to answer the priest as honestly as you are able. It may not be easy or fun, but it will be a good step to take. You probably won’t get all the answers you are looking for all at once.

Do not despair! God loves you. Jesus died for you. The Holy Spirit is there to help you.

 

[sinningcatholic]

We are all human.

I had a very powerful experience with Confession a few months ago. I truly wished to sin no more.

Yet, I have stumbled and fallen since then.

I realize all success in this struggle is due to the grace of God, and that all failure is my own.

Yet, I have not given up on the struggle, and I do not avoid confession. (I may even go later today.) There is real grace in the sacraments.

I once had a similar idea as you seem to. I was hooked on pornography and masturbation. I thought there was no point in confessing something that I wasn’t going to be able to beat. However, the truth of the matter is that it is not within the grasp of fallen human nature to achieve perfection. We must surrender to God and trust in him. Confession is a very powerful tool in that process of surrendering our will to God.

I can’t really explain the experience I had, but I can offer the testimony that Confession is a very powerful sacrament, and you can receive much grace through it. Pornography has lost its power. Masturbation is still a terrible temptation, but it is losing its power as well.

I don’t really understand what your particular difficulty is, so I can offer you no real alternative. I can only suggest you should see a priest. Be willing to admit what it is that you have done, and what troubles you. Be willing to ask for help, and be willing to answer the priest as honestly as you are able. It may not be easy or fun, but it will be a good step to take. You probably won’t get all the answers you are looking for all at once.

Do not despair! God loves you. Jesus died for you. The Holy Spirit is there to help you.

Thank you---------your statement accurately reflects the ongoing struggle i have. sexual isolation is very difficult to manage. but the consequence of isolation i feel being separated from God is worse. So here i am, and i very much appreciate your response. I believe your statements of gradual healing. thank you.

 

[teachccd]

We are all human.

I had a very powerful experience with Confession a few months ago. I truly wished to sin no more.

Yet, I have stumbled and fallen since then.

I realize all success in this struggle is due to the grace of God, and that all failure is my own.

Yet, I have not given up on the struggle, and I do not avoid confession. (I may even go later today.) There is real grace in the sacraments.

I once had a similar idea as you seem to. I was hooked on pornography and masturbation. I thought there was no point in confessing something that I wasn’t going to be able to beat. However, the truth of the matter is that it is not within the grasp of fallen human nature to achieve perfection. We must surrender to God and trust in him. Confession is a very powerful tool in that process of surrendering our will to God.

I can’t really explain the experience I had, but I can offer the testimony that Confession is a very powerful sacrament, and you can receive much grace through it. Pornography has lost its power. Masturbation is still a terrible temptation, but it is losing its power as well.

I don’t really understand what your particular difficulty is, so I can offer you no real alternative. I can only suggest you should see a priest. Be willing to admit what it is that you have done, and what troubles you. Be willing to ask for help, and be willing to answer the priest as honestly as you are able. It may not be easy or fun, but it will be a good step to take. You probably won’t get all the answers you are looking for all at once.

Do not despair! God loves you. Jesus died for you. The Holy Spirit is there to help you.

100% Ditto

 

[scylla]

If you truly intend on not sinning or avoiding the sin you will need to change your life.

This is just like the smoking patch, gum etc…Your “patch” is doing something different.

You need to change how you live that affects how you end up choosing sin.

For me that meant changing my habits in life so that sin wouldn’t be so easy for me to do.

For me this meant in how I treat my wife, in how I dress, my speech and Church habits, confession etc…

It sometimes takes a lot sometimes a little but it just doesn’t take a resolve but often takes proactive action.
Find a hobby, start exercising, start prayer, make friends, start writing, but most of all focus on God and His love for you.
He is the reason you exist, so as long as you live then consider that a gift, one you can give back to Him.

In Christ
Scylla

 

[sinningcatholic]

If you truly intend on not sinning or avoiding the sin you will need to change your life.

This is just like the smoking patch, gum etc…Your “patch” is doing something different.

You need to change how you live that affects how you end up choosing sin.

For me that meant changing my habits in life so that sin wouldn’t be so easy for me to do.

For me this meant in how I treat my wife, in how I dress, my speech and Church habits, confession etc…

It sometimes takes a lot sometimes a little but it just doesn’t take a resolve but often takes proactive action.
Find a hobby, start exercising, start prayer, make friends, start writing, but most of all focus on God and His love for you.
He is the reason you exist, so as long as you live then consider that a gift, one you can give back to Him.

In Christ
Scylla

I have a lot of work to do. Your practical words remind me just how far I have distanced myself from the Dignity of God He put in me. I will do as you say. many thanks for your response.
gratitude and many respects, sinningcatholic

 

[scylla]

Oh and one more thing, aside from being difficult.

Catholicism is really cool once you investigate it.
I love to be Catholic, it is freedom.

It just sometimes takes a while to get to that point. But once you go to confession and get all that bad stuff behind you it makes a lot more sense, and as you go along you will appreciate it more.

God Bless
Scylla

 

[dulcissima]

Sinningcatholic…have you made a plenary indulgence for your husband yet?

I know that I had a particular sin that I was very attached to, and never fully spelled it out in confession, because I couldn’t bear the thought of having to completely give up what would lead me into sin. Well, a year ago I realized that there were so many signs calling on me to make a plenary indulgence for my dad. I had been trying to ignore them because I knew I couldn’t possibly give up my attachment to sin. Finally though, they became so obvious that I couldn’t ignore them. I prayed the rosary and the memorare as I examined my conscience before going into confession. I asked Mary to help me make a good confession. A little more than a year has gone by since I made that plenary indulgence and by grace I have not commited that sin once since that time. I’ve felt tempted, but at the same time I have found a lot of strength that I didn’t know that I had.

Sometimes it is hard to give up a sin for your own sake, but giving it up for someone else’s benefit makes it more doable.

 

[arewethereyet]

I struggled with the BIGGEST addiction of my life for years. A very sinful one for sure. But it wasn’t til I took it to confession with this priest who couldn’t be more beautiful, that I finally felt free. Now we all have fleeting thoughts and that is normal. But I no longer obsess about these thoughts or put them into action. Maybe I needed to hit my rock bottom. I don’t know. I just know that when the pain was that intense and I felt that hopeless, then I was ready to give the addiction to God, wholeheartedly.
Good luck to you!
I will pray for you!
PM me anytime…
Karen

 

[Sabda]

Confession without a plan for avoid further sin is to me not a contrite and sincere confession. i will never promise not to sin again, but to go to Confession wih contrition, a desire to understand the underpinnings of my sin, and look to a foundation that will assist me to avoid any particular sin again.

I went though years being a “name in only Catholic”. I felt a desire to be Confirmed 8 yrs ago, so I was. From there it has just slowly snowballed. A 1 1 1/2 ago I felt a strong desire to start taking my faith seriously. I decided the first thing I needed to do was make a really good confession. I spent a solid week contemplating were I had gone wrong in my life. I went to confession and had a life changing experience in there. I then spent a month going to confession on a weekly basis. It seemed like once I started shoveling my sins I had to keep on until I got it all out. I’d forget some and remember after confession. So I would just go the next week. I’m now at a point were I don’t have all those serious sins on me. I also had one sin that was particularly troublesome for me but going to confession has helped me to master it. Sometimes it takes going on a regular basis to help us conquer a sin. Other times we can do with one confession. Your priest will be able to help you with your problems. Christ will help you but he needs you to cooperate with him. The best way I found for me to come back to God was though confession. You have the desire the best thing you can do with it is to put it into action.

 

[sinningcatholic]

Thank you respondants. I went to confession, spared no information, had a frozen spirit when i went in. During Father’s traditional Absolution Blessing, my frozen heart broke.

Many thanks to the respondants. I did everything every one stated. EVERYTHING==and you now share in the miracle.
l, m…

 

[puzzleannie]

the serious alternative to impurity is purity, that is chastity in one’s state in life. using failures along that line as an excuse to avoid confession is ludicrous, we don’t have to qualify in holiness and sinlessness and perfect intention in order to confess, we confess and seek absolution that we may work for those graces. my computer is slow and I posted before I got the end of the thread and your good news, God bless you, sometimes we do get it right.

 

[red_eye_chimera]

We are all human.

I had a very powerful experience with Confession a few months ago. I truly wished to sin no more.

Yet, I have stumbled and fallen since then.

I realize all success in this struggle is due to the grace of God, and that all failure is my own.

Yet, I have not given up on the struggle, and I do not avoid confession. (I may even go later today.) There is real grace in the sacraments.

I once had a similar idea as you seem to. I was hooked on pornography and masturbation. I thought there was no point in confessing something that I wasn’t going to be able to beat. However, the truth of the matter is that it is not within the grasp of fallen human nature to achieve perfection. We must surrender to God and trust in him. Confession is a very powerful tool in that process of surrendering our will to God.

I can’t really explain the experience I had, but I can offer the testimony that Confession is a very powerful sacrament, and you can receive much grace through it. Pornography has lost its power. Masturbation is still a terrible temptation, but it is losing its power as well.

I don’t really understand what your particular difficulty is, so I can offer you no real alternative. I can only suggest you should see a priest. Be willing to admit what it is that you have done, and what troubles you. Be willing to ask for help, and be willing to answer the priest as honestly as you are able. It may not be easy or fun, but it will be a good step to take. You probably won’t get all the answers you are looking for all at once.

Do not despair! God loves you. Jesus died for you. The Holy Spirit is there to help you.

I have a very similar struggle. Unfortunately, the devil can aim low. I no longer go on those adult rated sites, but God had created me with a foot fetish ( for those who don’t know what that is, it is a sexual desire for feet) (all sexual desires are created by the inventor of sex, the Lord our God). I see feet every day. Then I get thoughts until I sleep that night, or I sin. I feel glad when the devil loses, but when he wins, I feel devistated, unclean, and hopeless until confession (which is on Saturday, so I feel completely dirty when I fall very early in the week).

After you recieve confession, thank God for forgiving your sins. We are humans walking on a hiking path (life). Occasionaly there would be many forks in the road (temptations). At every fork, one road looks hard ( God’s path), and the other looks very easy ( Satan’s path). If you follow the hard path, you will reach your destination (heaven). If you follow the easy path, you will reach a dead end (sin). Luckily, You have a compass (confession+ mass+ Bible+ prayer= God’s forgiveness and guidance). You can’t go back down the road( because you can’t alter the past), but your compass can guide you back to the right path until you meet another fork in the road.

 

[Al_Masetti]

Start the day with five decades of the Rosary.

Wear a scapular during the day. Keep Rosary beads in a little coin purse in your pocket during the day.

Throughout the day, say little prayers … “Jesus, I love you.” Make up your own. Say the prayers about every five seconds. It’s easy once you get into the habit. Don’t advertise what you’re doing. It’s between you and God and Mary and St. Joseph and your patron saint(s) and your Guardian Angel.

As the day progresses, ask God to get you through each challenge, no matter how small. Even things like a parking spot or a line for lunch or at the ATM or getting to an appointment on time. And say to God, “Thank you” after each such event. Make it a habit.

Take the Rosary beads to bed with you and fall asleep with the Rosary coiled up in your hand.

What you will do is replace the bad old habits with new good ones. And you will LOVE the new good habits. Guaranteed.