Seventh Day Adventists

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I recently ended a relationship with someone who is a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church. While we were not yet engaged, I knew I wanted to be married in the Catholic Church and he was not able to agree to this, so we ended the relationship. I was not willing to give up my Catholic faith. I am wondering if there are any practicing Catholics on this forum married to someone in the Seventh Day Adventist Church, or have converted from SDA to Catholicism who might be able to share insight on ways to resolve this. Also, please keep the both of us in your prayers.
 
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Maria1212:
I recently ended a relationship with someone who is a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church. While we were not yet engaged, I knew I wanted to be married in the Catholic Church and he was not able to agree to this, so we ended the relationship. I was not willing to give up my Catholic faith. I am wondering if there are any practicing Catholics on this forum married to someone in the Seventh Day Adventist Church, or have converted from SDA to Catholicism who might be able to share insight on ways to resolve this. Also, please keep the both of us in your prayers.
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You stood your feet on as a faithful catholic good for you. For me been a protestant, i was been tested about asking someone to convert from his religion to christianity (he’s not a catholic, nor from other different denomination) you know what answer i got? What!!! in order for you to marry me or love me, i have to let go of my believe, then why don’t you do that instead. Love is not asking someone to give up something unwillingly, if that’s the case i rather end the relationship then to be with someone so selfish. So can anybody tell me is this what our religion teaches us??
 
Actually " Adventistnomore " is a pretty nice guy he might be able to help you. Though I haven’t heard from him in a while.
 
Hi Maria,
First of all - I want you to know that I admire you so much for putting your faith first. I’m sure that you loved this person very much and it hasn’t been easy for you. The Catholic Church is awesome and if you would have married this Seventh Day Adventist it would not be easy for you. They think that the antiChrist will come our of Rome and that the Church is the Whore of Babylon.

There have been several discussion threads in here about the beliefs of the Seventh Day Adventists. I would encourage you to do a search and read up on their beliefs and what they think about the Pope and Catholics. It isn’t pretty.

I will pray that God will give you the grace and blessings that you need to recover from your break-up.

Shannin
 
This should give you an idea of their mindset.

“Sunday-keeping must be the mark of the beast.” … “The reception of his mark must be something that involves the greatest offense that can be committed against God.” (The Marvel of Nations, Elder U. Smith pages 170, 183)

“Here we find the mark of the beast. The very act of changing the Sabbath into Sunday, on the part of the Catholic church, without any authority from the Bible.” (Ellen G. White, The Mark of the Beast, page 23)

“The Sunday Sabbath is purely a child of the Papacy. It is the mark of the beast.” (Advent Review, Vol. I, No. 2, August, 1850.)

“The change of the Sabbath is the sign or mark of the authority of the Romish church.” … “The keeping of the counterfeit Sabbath is the reception of the mark.” (Ellen G. White, Great Controversy, Vol. 4, page 281.

“The mark of the beast is Sunday-keeping. A law will enforce this upon Seventh-day Adventists. They won’t obey. Then they will be outlawed, persecuted, and condemned to death! Of all the wild Advent speculations in the prophecies, this deserves to stand among the wildest.” (Seventh-day Adventism Renounced" by D.M. Canright, 1914)

“Sunday-keeping is an institution of the first beast, and ALL who submit to obey this institution emphatically worship the first beast and receive his mark, ‘the mark of the beast.’ … Those who worship the beast and his image by observing the first day are certainly idolaters, as were the worshippers of the golden calf.” (Advent Review Extra, pages 10 and 11, August, 1850)

bible.ca/7-mark-beast.htm

Go here, and search on words like babylon, catholic, pope, papacy, etc., to see for yourself what they think.

http://egwdatabase.whiteestate.org/nxt/gateway.dll?f=templates$fn=default.htm$vid=default

http://egwdatabase.whiteestate.org/nxt/gateway.dll?f=templates$fn=default.htm$vid=default
 
I have been married to a Seventh Day Adventist for 23 years. So perhaps I can give you some (name removed by moderator)ut.

While dating I learned a lot about the SDA church. I quite simply could not accept it. I let my husband know that I loved him but God was first in my life and would always be. I am Catholic and will live my life as such. It is such and intragral part of my life I would not turn my back on it. I clearly defined some nonnegotiables in my life and he could either accept them because they are a part of me or not.

In marriage, I see it that I need to make both of us the best Christians we can be. There are many similarities and I concentrate on those. My children have been raised Catholic and defend the Catholic Church.

Respect is very important. It is not my duty to Convert my husband. That I leave up to the Holy Spirit. My duty is to be the best Catholic Christian I can be.

Annette
 
Dear Annette,

Thank you very much for your very respectful reply. Everyones replies have been very helpful. The SDA I was dating, doesnt mind that I am Catholic, and says he would never expect me to change, but he says he could never be married in the Catholic Church or allow any potential children to be raised Catholic. I told him I really respected who he was and would never try to change him either, but felt that if we focused on what we had in common, we could overcome the differences.

His decision about not marrying someone outside his faith seemed to come out of the blue–since all along he knew I was Catholic. I was the first person he dated who was outside the SDA Church, and I don`t　know if he got scared, his family pressured him, or if he came to the decision on his own.

Part of me knows I should let go, but I have never met anyone like him and really love him, and want to try to find a way to make it work without either of us sacrificing our beliefs.

When you got married, was the ceremony held in both Churches, or did he agree to be married only in the Catholic Church, and to raise the children Catholic, before you got married? Do you go to both Churches together? I know your children are Catholic but did you expose them to both religions?

Thank you again for your response, and to everyone else who has responded. Please keep us in your prayers.
 
Dear Maria1212,

I would just like to say God Bless You for your commitment first to God. You truly have your priorities straight. I actually have some friends in a small MI town who are Seventh Day Adventist, and we can still get along. They’ve told me that I’m the first “born-again” Catholic they’ve ever met! 😃

I think they’re good people, just innocently mistaken.

I’ll say a prayer for you and your friend!

In her and her Son,
scott
 
Maria,

First in answer to your questions. We were married only in the Catholic Church. There is nothing that I am aware of in the Seventh Day Adventist Church against this. Before we got married he was aware that I would sign a statement that I would raise the children Catholic. This does not prevent him from teaching about his faith. He has never made much effort to do this however. He will only go to Church with me on a very special occasion (son’s baptism, confirmation) but not always. He was also aware of the Church’s view on birth control. Again there is nothing in the Seventh Day Adventist Church that is against the Catholic practice.

I went to church with him for a while when we were dating. I also took instructions in his faith while still continuing to practice my Catholic faith. But then I refused to go because I could not take a weekly session of Catholic bashing while I had to sit and listen to it.

If you decide to go forward with this relationship you need to be very strong and very sure of yourself and your faith. You must know your faith much more than the average Catholic because you won’t survive by being a nonquestioning Catholic the way some are able when they are both Catholic in a marriage. You will have to continually renew and study your faith. You will need the sacraments. You will need all of the strengths and blessings of the Catholic Church.

You should read the book “The Great Controversy” by Ellen G White. Read it looking at it from two different views. The first view being from a Catholic aspect. You will be astounded that someone could so grossly represent the Catholic Church. It was so bad it made me cry that someone would even believe such things about the Church that Jesus Christ established.

Then read it from the second aspect - that of the Seventh Day Adventist. Suppose you didn’t know any better. Suppose this is how you learned about the Catholic faith. Ellen G White is considered a very holy prophet in their faith who saw visions of Christ. She wanted for people to love God. If you read Seventh Adventist material (and believe it) it will make you not want anything to do with the Catholic Church. My husband will not read anything Catholic. I kind of think he is afraid of it. And you must be able to understand this fear and accept it.

Other things to expect. No family or friends of my husband showed up for the wedding. I simply told the ushers to seat guests on both sides of the church. I do not resent his family. The wedding just wasn’t important to them. My husband has been told he is not a good SDA because he is unable to convert me. The priest we had for pre-canna classes told me he didn’t think the marriage would work. Today he has left the priesthood but I am still married so you can’t let others make those decisions for you.

Hope this helps. I am happy to answer any other questions you may have.

Annette
 
Dear Annette,

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Your response and advice was extremely helpful.

One thing that really complicates my relationship with the SDA I was dating is that right now we live in separate locations due to work so are not able to talk about this in person. I wrote him a long email explaining what I was able to compromise and what I was not able to. I have a feeling at this point his parents and friends are pressuring him. I told him I would welcome learning as much about his church as I could, with the understanding that it was to educate myself–not with the expectation of conversion–but that I would keep an open mind and an open heart. I emphasized that while doing this I would still attend Mass and participate in my Church.

At this point he is unwilling to compromise. He admits he does not know anything about the similarities between Catholics and SDAs and has only studied the differences. He said he remembers some of the basic tenets of Catholicism he was taught by his ex-girl friend`s family who were Catholic (but the ex-girlfriend was SDA so I am not sure that what he learned about Catholicism is true. He keeps saying that he wants to marry someone of his own faith so that when one person is spiritually weak–the other person can help them grow-and that he does not want to give up any of his core beliefs.

Part of me wishes I could recommend some books for him to read but I have said all along I wasnt expecting him to change. So right now I am praying for him and hoping the Holy Spirit will guide him. I just dont know what to do and do not want to sound like I am pushing anything on him. Apart from me wanting to be with him, I feel sad he seems so afraid of Catholicism. It is like he fears learning anything about it might sway him from his faith. I think it is healthy to question one`s faith so as to learn more and make it stronger but I do not want to force anything on him.

His decision about suddenly not wanting to date outside his Church came out of the blue whichi is why I am still so shocked. Up until now, he had been the one pursuing me, more than me pursuing him. He has said he wants to remain friends–even if we need some time apart before being in touch again. But as for me, it is too painful to keep in touch.

I will read the book you suggested just so I will know more about where he is coming from. I will continue to pray for him, but I guess other than doing that, I need to not be in touch with him and focus on moving on. Maybe after some time goes by, he will become open to learning about Catholicism, but I know while praying for him, I should just try to move forward with life. I really love him and thought he was “the one” so just feel so sad and heart-broken. At the same time, I want God and my Catholic faith to come first in my life, so I know I am doing the right thing. It just does not make things any less painful right now.

If you, and everyone who reads this, would pray for the two of us, I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Just reading responses from people on this thread has made me feel so much better becaue it makes me feel a lot less alone. Thank you again for responding. If I have more questions I will definitely write to you. You are a wonderful resource and I really appreciate your openness.

Maria
 
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Maria1212:
Dear Annette,

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Your response and advice was extremely helpful.

One thing that really complicates my relationship with the SDA I was dating is that right now we live in separate locations due to work so are not able to talk about this in person. I wrote him a long email explaining what I was able to compromise and what I was not able to. I have a feeling at this point his parents and friends are pressuring him. I told him I would welcome learning as much about his church as I could, with the understanding that it was to educate myself–not with the expectation of conversion–but that I would keep an open mind and an open heart. I emphasized that while doing this I would still attend Mass and participate in my Church.

At this point he is unwilling to compromise. He admits he does not know anything about the similarities between Catholics and SDAs and has only studied the differences. He said he remembers some of the basic tenets of Catholicism he was taught by his ex-girl friend`s family who were Catholic (but the ex-girlfriend was SDA so I am not sure that what he learned about Catholicism is true. He keeps saying that he wants to marry someone of his own faith so that when one person is spiritually weak–the other person can help them grow-and that he does not want to give up any of his core beliefs.

Part of me wishes I could recommend some books for him to read but I have said all along I wasnt expecting him to change. So right now I am praying for him and hoping the Holy Spirit will guide him. I just dont know what to do and do not want to sound like I am pushing anything on him. Apart from me wanting to be with him, I feel sad he seems so afraid of Catholicism. It is like he fears learning anything about it might sway him from his faith. I think it is healthy to question one`s faith so as to learn more and make it stronger but I do not want to force anything on him.

His decision about suddenly not wanting to date outside his Church came out of the blue whichi is why I am still so shocked. Up until now, he had been the one pursuing me, more than me pursuing him. He has said he wants to remain friends–even if we need some time apart before being in touch again. But as for me, it is too painful to keep in touch.

I will read the book you suggested just so I will know more about where he is coming from. I will continue to pray for him, but I guess other than doing that, I need to not be in touch with him and focus on moving on. Maybe after some time goes by, he will become open to learning about Catholicism, but I know while praying for him, I should just try to move forward with life. I really love him and thought he was “the one” so just feel so sad and heart-broken. At the same time, I want God and my Catholic faith to come first in my life, so I know I am doing the right thing. It just does not make things any less painful right now.

If you, and everyone who reads this, would pray for the two of us, I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Just reading responses from people on this thread has made me feel so much better becaue it makes me feel a lot less alone. Thank you again for responding. If I have more questions I will definitely write to you. You are a wonderful resource and I really appreciate your openness.

Maria
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Hi Maria. Seventh-day Adventists believe that the Pope is the anti-Christ and that Ellen G White is a prophetess of God. They believe in sabbath keeping, even though Jesus established the Lord’s day as a day of worship. They believe that the Catholic Church is the Whore of Babylon and that the Pope keeps records in the Vatican of all the Seventh-day Adventists and will come kill them and all true Christians during the tribulation (one of my best friends was raised Seventh-day Adventist so I’m not sure how true this belief is, or if it’s just a common belief most people share…). Seventh-day Adventists are the precursors to the modern day Jehovah’s Witnesses. I would think it would be pretty hard to live with someone that believed this about my Church.
 
Hi Maria, as a former SDA of 18 years, born and raised in the Catholic church, but I did not know my faith. There are not alot of ex-SDA’s breaking down the door to get in to the Catholic church, much of what is drilled in your head over a period of time, Fear has alot to do with SDA’s not comming to the Catholic Church and the teachings they hold concerning the Catholic Church. I thank the MOST HOLY SPIRIT, that He has convicted you to be Strong and of Good COURAGE. There are some wonderful people in the SDA church pray for them all. If there is anything I can help you with contact me here. I will be more than happy to help. I will pray for you!

With Love in The Truth
Ruth

Yipeee I’m Home!!! Praise God
 
Hello, I am a Seventh-day Adventist in good standing. I have been reading this thread with great interest for several reasons.
  1. To see what the catholic church thinks about us
  2. To see who “mixed” marriages or relationships deal with religous differences.
  3. In greater detail: because my wife is a former Catholic and now is a Seventh-Day Adventist in good standing.
Let me tell you first about my experience.

I grew up a Seventh-day Adventist (my father converted at a young age from another Protestant religion when my Grandmother accepted the faith). I never went to Adventist Colleges or Universities (all public) until Medical School. I met my wife to be at a State College (in chemistry class of all things). I fell in love but she and I were just friends for about 2 years. She then began to fall for me. Now, I know that there has been discussion about Seventh-Day Adventists only being very strict about who they marry. This was also imprinted on me at an early age not only because of church doctrine but also because of other family members (my SDA aunt married an atheist who smoked - smoking in the SDA church is a no no - no worries though - he eventually turned around)

2Co 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Even before we started dating, I was very anxious about the fact that she was Catholic and I was Seventh-day Adventist. Naturally, either I was going to eventually break up with her (or she with me) or I would have to face the prospect of marring a Non-Seventh-day Adventist. I felt sick about this and it weighed on my mind for a very long time. I finally broke down and told her that we needed to seriously talk about our religions and how they were very different. She agreed. She wanted to know more about the SDA church so I gave her the book entitled: “The Great Controversy” (probably not the best one to start out with). Perhaps “Steps to Christ” would have been a better choice. I also showed her how our faith most closely matches the faith portrayed in the Bible (sola scriptura). Anyway, she read it and the rest was history. It made sense to her. I realize that I cannot generalize this situation to everybody. But I am telling you this from my perspective.

I must tell you however, that it was not as simple as I have portrayed. My wife’s family (father and mother) - are still Catholic. They are from Poland (as in Pope John-Paul II) and they take their religion VERY seriously. They love me as a son (which they should because I am their son-in-law. There is no question that my children (and I have one so far) - will be raised as Seventh-day Adventist. My point is that this is something that needs to be worked out BEFORE you are married.

Oh, and by the way. I must say that some of the information about SDAs on this site are really not true. For instance, we don’t hate Catholics - we never have. We just don’t like the system of the Catholic church. Some of our best preachers such as Mark Finley and Walter Veith are former Catholics. And, also, it’s not like we invented the “whore of Babylon” thing either. That goes all the way back to Luther etc and the Reformation. It just so happens that we are the only ones left who are still “protesting.” If you will recall that Luther has now been made a Saint of the Catholic Church and the Lutherian Chruch has now apologized for the Reformation.

A quick look at what the church believes should be helpful instead of taking things second hand.

adventist.info/article/view/29

BTW - don’t get defensive everybody- I’m not out to convert anyone here on this site (against their will anyway) 🙂
 
Dear Illuminator:

In reference to 2Co 6:14 , I find it sad you are categorizing Catholics as unbelievers. We may differ on some key important points, but we certainly believe in Christ.

Sincerely,
Maria1212
 
My BF is SDA. I am Catholic. Told him I was born Catholic, will live as a Catholic and will die as a Catholic…no exceptions. He has accepted that and although we have “agreed to disagree” we have both been supportive of our respective spiritual journeys. It isn’t easy at times, but then life is a challenge and I for one wholeheartedly enjoy a good one.
Kathy
 
Dear Illuminator,

As a former SDA, who is not in good standing. In the eyes of Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior, I am one of His children, whom He loves and gave His life for. Praise Him, for I am so very grateful everyday for all His Consuming Love and Forgiveness, even for me, a sinner who is Catholic. I also know Adventist doctrin period. You used 2 Cor 6:14 as your example for not marrying outside of your faith as you put it. I know as HAVING BEEN AN ADVENTIST married to a wonderful Catholic man for 30 years. I lived an example that Christ gave to me to live. I Never thought of my beloved as unrighteous because of his faith.
That to my understanding it is the job of the Lord to judge.
I understand it would be easier to marry someone of the same faith. It is a very big decision needs to be made in deep prayer, and guided by the Holy Spirit. PLEASE DEAR Illuminator don’t be so smug about your faith. We are all His children, and by His Grace, we shall see His Face. For we are all saved by the Blood Of The Lamb.

Sincerely,
Ruth1:16
In Christ and His Catholic Church

P.S. Maria I’ll keep you in prayer. God has a wonderful plan for your life.
 
I guess that was the risk of replying to the thread (being misunderstood). Unfortunetly, the tone of my letter is sometimes lost due to the medium (the written word). A couple of things:

Maria 1212: you said, “In reference to 2Co 6:14 , I find it sad you are categorizing Catholics as unbelievers. We may differ on some key important points, but we certainly believe in Christ.”

Maria, The text I quoted (2Co 6:14) I was using in reference to show that if two people believe differently, there will be problems (of course if they both hold fast to their different belifs). I never intended to say that you all were “non believers”. I don’t even think I insinuated it! I don’t think my wife would say that she started believing in God after she meet me. Far from it. We are all children of God (as some of you have already pointed out). It is just more difficult when there are two opposing views (I’m not alone on this - the Catholic Church also agrees)

Dear Ruth 1:16. Where exactly was I “smug” in what I said. If it was the confidence that I have in my faith, then I hope we can all be “smug” But I don’t see any “smugness” in what I said. Please tell me where you got this impression in my letter.

I have a question for all the ex- or former- Seventh-Day Adventists out there. Did you leave the church over doctrinal issues or congregational issues? In other words, over theology or over issues in your church on a personal basis. You, of course, don’t have to answer if you don’t want. I just thought it would be interesting to find out since it is that I don’t get to speak to a lot of ex- or former Seventh-Day Adentists.

Oh, and by the way Ruth 1:16 - you can pray for me anytime! 🙂

Psalms 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
 
Hello OP and Illuminator;

Welcome to the thread and thanks for sharing. My wife and I are friends with a couple that is SDA (husband) and Lutheran (wife). I found it interesting that the husband made the comment that if he was going to join another church it would definitely be the Catholic Church because of the Eucharist. I thought that was a very interesting statement given his upbringing as an SDA. Anyway, the couple are still happily married and have been for more than ten years now, with a beautiful daughter that was baptised in the Lutheran church. I think that inter-faith marriages can work, but it takes hard work and prayer from both people in the relationship. My advice to the OP would be, do not enter into the marriage with the expectation that one of you will convert. If that does ultimately happen, then thanks be to God, but it may not be God’s plan and you have to be open to the possibility that each of you will keep your original faith. Good luck OP.

One question to Illuminator. I know this is a bit off-topic, but where did you get the idea that, “…Luther has now been made a Saint of the Catholic Church” and “…the Lutherian Chruch has now apologized for the Reformation.” (Was that whiring sound Martin Luther spinning in his grave? 😃 )

Perhaps just a quick citation here, or just PM me with the source. 👍

Peace,
-Rob
 
Don’t have time to fully research my sources until tonight. Here is something to look at until then:

elca.org/ecumenical/ecumenicaldialogue/romancatholic/vision_statement.html

Notice the term “full reconciliation” in print.

I may have mis spoke and said that Luther is a Saint. I think that he is on the long track to becoming a saint - I’ll look though. The point is that there is a concerted effort to bring the “daughter” back to the “mother” by both sides (although there are some Lutherans who are mortified at the idea).
 
Dear Illuminator,

The reason I felt you were categorizing Catholics as nonbelievers is because in the New American Bible 2 Corinthians 6:14 states the following:

Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have. Or what fellowship does light have with darkness.

The study note in my Bible for 2 Chorintians 6: 14-16 says says "The opening injunction to separate from unbelievers is reinforced by five rhetorical questions to make the point that Christianity is not compatible with paganism. Their opposition is emphasized also by the accumulation of five distinct designations for each group. These versus are a powerful statement of God`s holiness and the exclusiveness of his claims. "
That is why I replied I was sad you thought Catholics were nonbelievers in Christ. I am glad to know that is not what you think.

On a personal note, I would like to thank everyone for their prayers, and ask that you continue praying for us. I am still very heart-broken but know that no man is worth sacrificing my Catholic faith. I also know that while he loved me, I need a potential spouse to love and accept all of me. It is interesting because the SDA I was dating, used the same verse you cited (2 Corinthians 6:14) as a reason he could not marry me. So for the former SDAs out there, is this verse commonly cited to encourage SDAs to marry within the SDA church?

Again, I appreciate your replies and your prayers.
 
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