Severe Scruples- any advice?

[coffee_kat]

I desperately need advice please; any sort of guidance would be appreciated immensely. Lately, I am overwhelmed by scruples and anxiety, and it is destroying my spiritual life. I am abroad currently, so getting counseling/help is unfortunately not an option. The priests here are so incredibly kind and patient with me, but the language barrier makes it hard for me to explain my fears and concerns to them. I have lost all ability to judge my sins, and I don’t know if I have been making good confessions, at all. I don’t know if I should be receiving communion, or wait until I get home and sort everything out with a priest there. I’m still going to confession and communion, but I’m not sure if I should at the moment, because in case I’m doing as poorly as I fear, then I’m just committing more and more sacrilege. I’m so, so confused and afraid. To anyone who has experienced severe scruples/anxiety before, I would greatly appreciate any advice you could give me. Thank you ray:t3:

 

[GiftofMercy]

@edward_george1

I am tagging a Priest who has responded wisely and kindly on another thread.

 

[po18guy]

Sorry to hear of this. Anxiety/scruples/OCD are all closely related. They can be spiritual, so speak with your priest. They can also be medical/psychological, so a consult with your doctor may also be warranted.

If it is straight up anxiety, as determined by testing and examination, just know that the gold standard in treatment (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is drug free and can even be done over the phone if necessary.

You are crying out for help, and that is commendable, as help is readily available.

 

[Lou2U]

I’m sorry you’re struggling.

Would it be possible for you to access counselling via Skype, or over the phone? These kinds of practices are becoming more popular, so don’t feel as if you have to wait until you are home to get help.

I hope things get better for you soon

 

[CRV]

Wow! Definitely severe scruples. I’ll pray for you.

Not knowing if you are abroad for a short time e.g. a holiday or for how much longer - perhaps in your case especially due to the language barrier, you could make spiritual communions until you get home and can speak with your usual confessor.
I suggest this because we are only obligated to receive Communion once a year between First Sunday of Lent and Trinity Sunday for US residents, so if you’ve already received Communion since that First Sunday of Lent, then to give your conscience a brief reprieve, perhaps make a spiritual communion instead of a sacramental communion.
Confession is also obligatory once a year, for mortal sins.

Edited to add:- Easter Duty

 

[fhansen]

One time in confession I was telling a priest of some addiction I had or was drawn to, and how bad that was for me-almost like I was feeling sorry for myself I think. And he said to me, rather matter of factly, “Well, stop doing that!” Very practical advice. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself afterwards. Over-scrupulosity is not of God-probably more related to pride than anything, in fact. And it’s harmful.

 

[porthos11]

I desperately need advice please; any sort of guidance would be appreciated immensely. Lately, I am overwhelmed by scruples and anxiety, and it is destroying my spiritual life. I am abroad currently, so getting counseling/help is unfortunately not an option. The priests here are so incredibly kind and patient with me, but the language barrier makes it hard for me to explain my fears and concerns to them. I have lost all ability to judge my sins, and I don’t know if I have been making good confessions, at all. I don’t know if I should be receiving communion, or wait until I get home and sort everything out with a priest there. I’m still going to confession and communion, but I’m not sure if I should at the moment, because in case I’m doing as poorly as I fear, then I’m just committing more and more sacrilege. I’m so, so confused and afraid. To anyone who has experienced severe scruples/anxiety before, I would greatly appreciate any advice you could give me. Thank you ray:t3:

If you are scrupulous and have no access to a priest/confessor/spiritual director, then you continue doing as you do: go to confession and communion. If you are wondering about whether you are committing sacrilege, you must continue on the assumption that the answer is an absolute, unqualified NO, and receive communion. If you are in real mortal sin, you will know it, and the scruples will not flare up. So if the scruples are flaring up, you must consider them to be scruples, and therefore the matter in question is not a sin. If you are in doubt, you must proceed as you see fit and with the firm assumption that it is not a sin, because if it is, you will clearly know it.

As a good, older book said, you are to confess something as mortally sinful only if you are as certain of it as you are certain that 2+2=4. If you are less certain than that, you are not to deem it a sin and proceed accordingly. If you are conscious only of issues that you are scrupling over, and you are not as certain as you are that 2+2=4, you are to consider yourself not in sin and receive Communion. If you are in any kind of doubt, receive Communion, and if you are experiencing only scruples and not a 2+2=4 certainty that you have committed a mortal sin, you are not to confess it, or if you do, confess it as a question to the priest. And most importantly, you are to consider all your confessions good, and all your Communions worthy, unless you are 2+2=4 certain otherwise. Any doubt at all, and you are to consider yourself innocent and act accordingly.

 

[TheLittleLady]

http://scrupulousanonymous.org/

 

[ioannes_pius]

1: Chose a good, Holy confessor and only confess to him.

2: Seek medical help, preferably from a catholic psychologist (when you return home).

 

[rosejmj]

Since your resources are limited now and you do struggle with scruples I would say keep going to confession and that most likely your communions are not sacrilege unless you know without a doubt you are in mortal sin. You have good intentions. You also do not have full knowledge. You can’t commit a mortal sin if you don’t know it. When you have the chance do seek out help though.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

As a good, older book said, you are to confess something as mortally sinful only if you are as certain of it as you are certain that 2+2=4. If you are less certain than that, you are not to deem it a sin and proceed accordingly. If you are conscious only of issues that you are scrupling over, and you are not as certain as you are that 2+2=4, you are to consider yourself not in sin and receive Communion. If you are in any kind of doubt, receive Communion, and if you are experiencing only scruples and not a 2+2=4 certainty that you have committed a mortal sin, you are not to confess it, or if you do, confess it as a question to the priest. And most importantly, you are to consider all your confessions good, and all your Communions worthy, unless you are 2+2=4 certain otherwise. Any doubt at all, and you are to consider yourself innocent and act accordingly.

I like the “2+2=4” analogy. Very well put. I’d encourage any scrupulous person to use this as a rule of thumb.

 

[Zerg]

A friend took me to a priest in a place out of town. The priest is was short in stature, lived with another priest; and showed me his chapel where he does weddings.

It was my 21st birthday and also the voting day for national elections. I voted for the Christian party.

It was so beautiful and I had a conversation with him about my scruples.

He is a very humble, Indian descent priest and his place smells like curry

Maybe some scenario like this would help you. Live with joy! Maybe attend at least one daily mass.

You are in my intentions.

 

[porthos11]

I know others here are saying take communion etc, but saying that to a scrupulous person only makes it worse in my experience. I am severely scrupulous too and have been for years. Look, I know that random people on the internet are not going to put you at ease to take communion.

So, what I would do is abstain if it really bothers you and make spiritual communions instead. It’s not obligatory to receive communion at every mass. I think you should stop going to confession too unless you’re 100 percent sure you committed a mortal sin. Then when you do get back home, go to a good priest and get his advice. This is just what I would do as I know receiving the sacraments in this anxiety makes things worse unless I talk to a spiritual director well and get counseling. And pray the rosary. The rosary always comforts me because of the 15 promises so now I have prayed it everyday for years.

This may work for your particular situation but is not advised for scrupulous in general. The scrupulous, generally speaking, are to not refrain from receiving Communion unless they are “2+2=4 certain” that they are in mortal sin. This is because one of the principles in combatting scrupulosity is to fight the doubt, and that is done by acting against it.

This is not the same as acting against one’s conscience (which is a sin) because the conscience of the scrupulous is defective, and therefore not reliable and cannot be depended on. Therefore only absolute certainty should prevent one from receiving Communion or confessing a sin. It may surprise many, but the scrupulous are not actually struggling in the presence of real mortal sin. They are at peace with their conviction and know to confess it as certain. So if they are milling around “was that a sin?” in their head, they are to firmly answer “no” and act accordingly.

Advice like “abstain just to be safe” is fine for people of normal conscience, but is a no-no for the scrupulous. The only one who should override this general principle is the scrupulous’s own trusted confessor.