Severe scrupulosity

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ResoluteSheep

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Scrupulosity has been tormenting me since 6 months ago when I started to get serious about my Faith. I always feel tormented by these thoughts especially whenever I feel like doing a hobby like watching YouTube videos, playing video games and anything outside religion.

I always get the thoughts like ‘‘doing so is gonna get you into mortal sin’’ when all I want to do is just use them to relax my mind and not actually get out of the faith. God is my priority above all else but I just don’t want to serve Him scrupulously like this it’s just painful and I want to have some joy in my faith, but at the same time I keep feeling as if God doesn’t want us to have fun and enjoy our hobbies. Like this verse of ‘‘No man can serve two masters’’ keeps coming into mind whenever I want to do a hobby outside of reading the Bible, praying and such.

What should I do about this?
 
ResoluteSheep said:
Scrupulosity has been tormenting me since 6 months ago when I started to get serious about my Faith. I always feel tormented by these thoughts especially whenever I feel like doing a hobby like watching YouTube videos, playing video games and anything outside religion.

I always get the thoughts like ‘‘doing so is gonna get you into mortal sin’’ when all I want to do is just use them to relax my mind and not actually get out of the faith. God is my priority above all else but I just don’t want to serve Him scrupulously like this it’s just painful and I want to have some joy in my faith, but at the same time I keep feeling as if God doesn’t want us to have fun and enjoy our hobbies. Like this verse of ‘‘No man can serve two masters’’ keeps coming into mind whenever I want to do a hobby outside of reading the Bible, praying and such.

What should I do about this?
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Interesting. My slant on this has always been that my “hobbies” especially knitting and making rosaries etc" feeds the hungry and clothes the naked" as they are given or mostly sold to fund my family’ s work overseas

I had not realised that I felt much as you do but yes it mattered and matters to me that I serve ONLY Jesus. Never waste time and energy etc; am working as I read and watch fllms. When I am out as well as enjoying Ireland, I am shopping and gathering sand or berries etc,

OF COURSE God loves us and wants us to live a balanced, healthy and enjoyable life. For me that means livin as I do; often growing food so I can send more cash away…

One advisor once told me to GO OUT FOR THE AFTERNOON AND DO NO WORK, without thinking I stopped to pick berries to make jam to selll. He saw the funny side of it…

IF this is affecting your health then that is bad. If it is unbalancing your life also bad. If you can use it? Is that bad?
Think and see what you think?

I hate labels like scrupulosity, I am single minded is all… determined!
 
ResoluteSheep said:
Scrupulosity has been tormenting me since 6 months ago when I started to get serious about my Faith. I always feel tormented by these thoughts especially whenever I feel like doing a hobby like watching YouTube videos, playing video games and anything outside religion.

I always get the thoughts like ‘‘doing so is gonna get you into mortal sin’’ when all I want to do is just use them to relax my mind and not actually get out of the faith. God is my priority above all else but I just don’t want to serve Him scrupulously like this it’s just painful and I want to have some joy in my faith, but at the same time I keep feeling as if God doesn’t want us to have fun and enjoy our hobbies. Like this verse of ‘‘No man can serve two masters’’ keeps coming into mind whenever I want to do a hobby outside of reading the Bible, praying and such.

What should I do about this?
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If there’s something immoral in the activities and if they tempt you to impurity or against the faith, then its important to stop them. If they are innocent and neutral, stopping them should not be done out of fearful scrupulosity, but only if you freely want to as a sacrifice, out of love. There’s no obligation to stop them. I think the only two options in this case are: continuing with them, or turning the sacrifice into something not based on fear. The way this would typically be done is a spiritual.director would advise the person to do the neutral action a few times without ANY fear. Then, once they have conquered the fear (which should not be there, if it is not a sin) - they can freely give it up for love of God and as choosing a more perfect thing, not out of scrupulosity. A director can say which of these two options is better for you. Certain things are more perfect than others, but the problem with scrupulosity is that it makes it about serious sin, which its not, and also makes you so fearful that even the sacrifice loses the love and merit its supposed to have. It basically prevents us from making the sacrifice with freedom, rather we feel like we have to, and we agonize over it continually worrying that we are in sin, even mortal sin. Even to make a sacrifice based on love, we need to first understand the gravity of such things. With video games, if they are played excessively it could be a venial sin. If you miss Mass or a serious obligation because of them, then mortal. If you just play them a bit to relax and don’t waste time, at most it would be an imperfection or nothing. We ARE allowed to have recreation and that is not even imperfect. Video games themselves may be less perfect than other recreations, but if you don’t play them excessively and they are not bad in themselves, its important to get over the scruple about them - really regardless of what you do about them. Hope that makes sense.

Its like a person who feels its a mortal sin to eat chocolate. What would you say to them? Its gluttony in the extreme, but in other cases its an imperfection. They are not sinning in having a bit of chocolate but they can give it up too. Yet if they give it up with all this scrupulosity going on, they are doing so out of servile fear, not love. And God wants love. So maybe its better for them to have their little bit of chocolate until they are able to not fear so much, and give it up to love God. They shouldn’t be paralysed and scared into sacrificing something… That is not how God asks for such things.

I have struggled with scrupulosity for a while. There is only one way to get over it. You need to find a regular confessor and submit fully to him. Please read this about scrupulosity: catholicapologetics.info/library/onlinelibrary/scruples.htm

The article is very detailed about scruples and how to fight them. We cannot fight them on our own, because that approach only feeds them and their cause. We need to have no self reliance in fighting them

I know its very painful to have scruples… Have hope. Lack of hope and trust make it much worse. God bless you 🙂
 
If the activities are not immoral, they are in fact way less damaging to your relationship with God than scrupulosity is. Its very important to understand this to fight scruples. We need to despise scrupulosity in a way. Don’t get discouraged by the fact that you have it, God allowed this trial for a reason, and overcoming it can give you certain virtues. I really recommd reading the article I linked above… It helped me. God bless you!
 
Monica4316 said:
If there’s something immoral in the activities and if they tempt you to impurity or against the faith, then its important to stop them. If they are innocent and neutral, stopping them should not be done out of fearful scrupulosity, but only if you freely want to as a sacrifice, out of love. There’s no obligation to stop them. I think the only two options in this case are: continuing with them, or turning the sacrifice into something not based on fear. The way this would typically be done is a spiritual.director would advise the person to do the neutral action a few times without ANY fear. Then, once they have conquered the fear (which should not be there, if it is not a sin) - they can freely give it up for love of God and as choosing a more perfect thing, not out of scrupulosity. A director can say which of these two options is better for you. Certain things are more perfect than others, but the problem with scrupulosity is that it makes it about serious sin, which its not, and also makes you so fearful that even the sacrifice loses the love and merit its supposed to have. It basically prevents us from making the sacrifice with freedom, rather we feel like we have to, and we agonize over it continually worrying that we are in sin, even mortal sin. Even to make a sacrifice based on love, we need to first understand the gravity of such things. With video games, if they are played excessively it could be a venial sin. If you miss Mass or a serious obligation because of them, then mortal. If you just play them a bit to relax and don’t waste time, at most it would be an imperfection or nothing. We ARE allowed to have recreation and that is not even imperfect. Video games themselves may be less perfect than other recreations, but if you don’t play them excessively and they are not bad in themselves, its important to get over the scruple about them - really regardless of what you do about them. Hope that makes sense.

Its like a person who feels its a mortal sin to eat chocolate. What would you say to them? Its gluttony in the extreme, but in other cases its an imperfection. They are not sinning in having a bit of chocolate but they can give it up too. Yet if they give it up with all this scrupulosity going on, they are doing so out of servile fear, not love. And God wants love. So maybe its better for them to have their little bit of chocolate until they are able to not fear so much, and give it up to love God. They shouldn’t be paralysed and scared into sacrificing something… That is not how God asks for such things.

I have struggled with scrupulosity for a while. There is only one way to get over it. You need to find a regular confessor and submit fully to him. Please read this about scrupulosity: catholicapologetics.info/library/onlinelibrary/scruples.htm

The article is very detailed about scruples and how to fight them. We cannot fight them on our own, because that approach only feeds them and their cause. We need to have no self reliance in fighting them

I know its very painful to have scruples… Have hope. Lack of hope and trust make it much worse. God bless you 🙂
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Thanks a bunch for the link, Monica. I think I have intellectual scruples, with most likely the cause of it being a lack of trust in God’s mercy and love. Actually to be completely honest, your explanation was already really good that I did not feel the need to click on the link 😃

Thank you and God bless you too! 🙂
 
Scrupulosity is the result of a person trying to live up to their religion, rather than striving for a relationship with Jesus Christ, and allowing Him to transform their lives.

This year of Mercy proclaimed by Pope Francis, all Catholics should open themselves to understanding God’s mercy and detach from the idea of a tyrannical God who is keeping a list of their offenses in order to condemn them to an eternity of torment, should they fail to make it to confession before they die.

God’s mercy was exhibited in Jesus Christ, who took on our human nature, suffered and died for us, yet while we were still sinners. This is the mercy of God.

Jim
 
Find a good spiritual director priest and obey him. I too, had scruples and my spiritual director told me not to go to Confession more than once a week.

Hobbies are good and God wants us to have them. They help us relax. If they are not immoral and not taking over your life leaving no time for prayer, then they are a good thing.

If your scruples take over and prevent you from living your life you may want to see a doctor and get screened for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Medication and Cognitive Behavioral therapy can help.

Gently ignore scrupulous thoughts. If you fight them, they tend to get stronger.

God bless you.
 
jaimeleglise said:
Find a good spiritual director priest and obey him. I too, had scruples and my spiritual director told me not to go to Confession more than once a week.

Hobbies are good and God wants us to have them. They help us relax. If they are not immoral and not taking over your life leaving no time for prayer, then they are a good thing.

If your scruples take over and prevent you from living your life you may want to see a doctor and get screened for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Medication and Cognitive Behavioral therapy can help.

Gently ignore scrupulous thoughts. If you fight them, they tend to get stronger.

God bless you.
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When does a hobby get in the way of our spiritual life though? Hobbies are great I agree 😃 though whenever I think about doing a hobby I always get the thought of ‘‘why don’t you read the Bible or pray instead? Are they not joyful enough already? Why do you have to do this instead? Come on’’ then I get all anxious, but it’s possibly a lack of trust in God on my part too

And also the issue on being ‘‘lukewarm’’ really bothered me too. I always wondered that what if if I have hobbies I join like for instance football then I leave at least 1-2 hrs of prayer too I’m always thinking ‘is that being lukewarm? I mean I have a nice hobby and sufficient time for prayer but what if I’m not spending enough time with God? What if I’m not living fully for Him?’
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Scrupulosity is the result of a person trying to live up to their religion, rather than striving for a relationship with Jesus Christ, and allowing Him to transform their lives.

This year of Mercy proclaimed by Pope Francis, all Catholics should open themselves to understanding God’s mercy and detach from the idea of a tyrannical God who is keeping a list of their offenses in order to condemn them to an eternity of torment, should they fail to make it to confession before they die.

God’s mercy was exhibited in Jesus Christ, who took on our human nature, suffered and died for us, yet while we were still sinners. This is the mercy of God.

Jim
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You’re probably right. Don’t mind me asking but how do you cultivate a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Is it through talking to Him daily, reading His Word?
 
Some things I’ve found helpful with scruples, is accepting my littleness more and understanding that God looks upon our weakness with kindness and tenderness, not anger 🙂 its more perfect to pray but even contemplative have rectreation. It actually helps to have recreation to be able to.relax our mind so we can pray and work better afterwards. If God ever calls you to give up a recreation one day and spend time with Him instead, which is a good and holy thing, He would do this as a loving invitation.

Another thing that helped a lot was having a regular confessor. Its very hard to be obedient at times with scruples but that’s exactly how we get cured of it 🙂

Maybe you would benefit from a daily schedule? I have one approved by my SD and its helped me. That way you do everything as a duty. There’s a time for prayer, work, recreation. Like a monastery but in the world.

God bless you!
 
ResoluteSheep said:
Scrupulosity has been tormenting me since 6 months ago when I started to get serious about my Faith. I always feel tormented by these thoughts especially whenever I feel like doing a hobby like watching YouTube videos, playing video games and anything outside religion.

I always get the thoughts like ‘‘doing so is gonna get you into mortal sin’’ when all I want to do is just use them to relax my mind and not actually get out of the faith. God is my priority above all else but I just don’t want to serve Him scrupulously like this it’s just painful and I want to have some joy in my faith, but at the same time I keep feeling as if God doesn’t want us to have fun and enjoy our hobbies. Like this verse of ‘‘No man can serve two masters’’ keeps coming into mind whenever I want to do a hobby outside of reading the Bible, praying and such.

What should I do about this?
Click to expand...
Completely ignore those thoughts. It’s better for you to play FIFA on the xbox than to despair on your salvation because of the lack of joy scrupulosity will cause. As long as these activities aren’t occasions of sin, you are fine.

Here’s a good idea: Keep saying your prayers and devotions faithfully, but, when you feel that this scruples is too overwhelming, take a break, and offer that rest for the Greater Glory of God (AMDG the motto of the Jesuits). Offer that activity as a prayer.

Slow down, set limits for yourself (ex: “I won’t pray more than 3 acts of contrition today”). Do what’s necessary (regular confession, regular Communion afterwards, normal prayers like the rosary), then later do what isn’t necessary (like extra prayers, extra spiritual reading). St Alphonsus said that the top priority of a scrupulous person should be to get rid of his scruples.

Find one Catholic priest who you think is holy and knows the Faith well, and obey what he says as if Jesus himself is speaking, since he said “he who hears you hears me”
 
ResoluteSheep said:
You’re probably right. Don’t mind me asking but how do you cultivate a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Is it through talking to Him daily, reading His Word?
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Prayer is the key to developing a relationship with Christ. Instead of reading Scripture, learn to pray with it. Lectio Divina is a good way.

In any prayer, turning to Jesus who dwells within, and placing yourself in His presence, allowing Him to give you His transforming grace is the way.

We can not make ourselves holy. Holiness comes from God, who’s love transforms us.

Holiness is a process of learning humility and opening ourselves to God grace, who is the source of holiness.

Detachment from our false self, or the ego as we know today, is important.

Being in the present moment is being in God’s presence, for God is timeless and the present moment, is where we are with God, and where the ego is the weakest.

The ego dwells on the past and plans for the future to create a false self image to present to the world.

It doesn’t matter if its an image of holiness or being religiously devoted. If it’s to feed an image to others, its serving the ego, not the will of God.

I would suggest that you learn how to pray contemplatively. There are plenty of books and teachers to help.

Again, prayer is the key.

Jim
 
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