Sex after a vasectomy?

[Raider_Red]

I know a guy that had a vasectomy after his third child was born because he said they were poor and couldn’t afford three children let alone four or five. He has since become Catholic and is now convicted of the decision and we were discussing ramifications in regards to his decision. I’m not too informed in this arena to help him out but was curious about something I didn’t bring up to him. Every time he and his wife have sex, the procreative aspect has been permanently removed and the unitive aspect is the only one there. What are the moral ramifications, if any, that are present here. I think I’m wording this correctly and would just like to know so I can correctly offer words of encouragement while at the same time be direct and pastoral.

 

[Reepicheep]

Unless he can get the vasectomy reversed, which I think is not usually the case, there’s nothing he can do about it.
Infertile people are not forbidden to marry and have sex with their spouses, nor should they be.

You mention that he became a Catholic only after the vasectomy, so it’s not a question of his having disobeyed Church law.

 

[Erin_Anne]

Since he became Catholic after the vasectomy, he’s ok as far as the Church is concerned - assuming he was absolved of all prior sin though Baptism or Confession. He can always discuss it with his Priest if it really bothers him. Fortunately they do have children, otherwise his past decision probably would have been harder on him after his conversion.

Erin-Anne :shamrock2:

 

[BrickRoux]

I may be really stepping into it here, and I’m not certain of my answer, so I’ll just phrase it as my own query.

I thought that I had read numerous times that infertile people are free to marry, but impotent people - meaning people who could not consummate the marriage - are not. As it was told to me, even if there is no hope given by a medical professional, there is always the hope of a miracle. This is why women past menopause are still free to marry if there’s no other impediment; then again, a vasectomy or a hysterectomy puts a new spin on things.

I’m just a baby Catholic, though, and I’m still trying to sort through what I hear versus what constitutes the “real deal.” I’d be interested in hearing more.

 

[Erin_Anne]

A vasectomy doesn’t mean impotence, usually, unless something goes wrong.
You’re correct in that a Catholic who is impotent is not permitted to marry in the Church as it would be entering into a union knowing that it will NOT produce children by natural methods.

I believe that the same goes for a Woman who has undergone a hysterectomy prior to marriage - for the same reason. Natural children aren’t possible.

This is where people usually get into the “Well, they can always adopt” debate. But rules are rules…

Erin-Anne :shamrock2:

 

[Antrim]

Brick Roux
You got it exactly right.

That is correct.

If a woman needs a Hystarectemy to save her life say and is still of childbearing age. She can get married and have sex because nothing is impossible with God.

The man must be able to consumate the marriage

Antrim

 

[OraLabora]

Since he became Catholic after the vasectomy, he’s ok as far as the Church is concerned - assuming he was absolved of all prior sin though Baptism or Confession. He can always discuss it with his Priest if it really bothers him. Fortunately they do have children, otherwise his past decision probably would have been harder on him after his conversion.

Erin-Anne :shamrock2:

And even if he was Catholic when he had the vasectomy, he need only confess to that sin. Provided he’s in a valid marriage, he can still have conjugal relations with his wife after the vasectomy.

 

[Erin_Anne]

And even if he was Catholic when he had the vasectomy, he need only confess to that sin. Provided he’s in a valid marriage, he can still have conjugal relations with his wife after the vasectomy.

Technically right - though his Priest may not be keen on the idea.

 

[teachccd]

Technically right - though his Priest may not be keen on the idea.

Keen on what idea? Forgiveness?

 

[HouseArrest]

And even if he was Catholic when he had the vasectomy, he need only confess to that sin. Provided he’s in a valid marriage, he can still have conjugal relations with his wife after the vasectomy.

Well, he’d need to actually be sorry. The above might lead someone to believe he can get a vasectomy with the intent of confessing it afterwards.

 

[ThankYouJesus]

The man must be able to consumate the marriage

Wow! I’ve never heard this before and it really suprises me. What if they are an older couple and want to be life-long companions, and they no longer have sexual desires?

 

[flyingfish]

This is a technical question, but if a man has had a vasectomy there is no sperm in his ejaculate. What precisely consummates the marriage? If an impotent man can’t consummate is it because he can’t ejaculate (presumably you can still put it in, albeit poorly even if he’s impotent), but does it matter what is in the ejaculate?

Why for example putting it in and failing to ejaculate not valid, but ejaculating something that has no sperm is?

 

[Raider_Red]

Thanks for all the replies thus far. I am curious now about the last question posed by flyingfish. Also, it was said that even if my acquaintance had been Catholic when he had the vasectomy all he would have needed to do is confess and all would have been good. The replies in response to him being outside of the Catholic Church when he did this and therefore not under the Law of the Church. What is the Church Law for someone that does this. Are they in mortal sin if they are aware of it being a mortal sin and go through with it until they are absolved? Any other ramifications after this for an individual. I ask this final question as I’m sure I’ll get to the age that my buddies are asking me questions like this and I figured I’d ask while I brought the topic up.

 

[OraLabora]

Well, he’d need to actually be sorry. The above might lead someone to believe he can get a vasectomy with the intent of confessing it afterwards.

The scenario I am thinking someone who is Catholic but ceases to practice, and gets a vasectomy in that time.

Or someone married to a Protestant and who was coerced into it (as in: “no vasectomy = no sex”, or “no vasectomy = I will leave you”).

Or someone for whom both situations apply.

Or simply someone who does it but is genuinely sorry afterwards.

 

[Erin_Anne]

Keen on what idea? Forgiveness?

Still having relations with his wife, regardless of the validity of the marriage.
I can think of a couple Priests that I know who would say “absolutely not”. Most won’t be that hard-core, but it depends on the individual.

 

[Erin_Anne]

Why for example putting it in and failing to ejaculate not valid, but ejaculating something that has no sperm is?

I would imagine they’re both invalid as there’s no possibility of procreation from either one. In the OP’s case the individual was already married and had children, which makes the situation a bit different.

 

[Erin_Anne]

What is the Church Law for someone that does this. Are they in mortal sin if they are aware of it being a mortal sin and go through with it until they are absolved? Any other ramifications after this for an individual. I ask this final question as I’m sure I’ll get to the age that my buddies are asking me questions like this and I figured I’d ask while I brought the topic up.

Sterilization is definitely a mortal sin. It CAN be absolved but they really, truly have to be sorry for it. Even the best of Catholics make mistakes and sever their relationships with God from time to time, and Confession puts them back in a state of grace if they are remorseful and prepared to do penance. One can’t go out and get the snip, or tubes tied with the expectation that they can just confess it and make the sin go away. If it were that easy, we’d all be Saints.

Erin-Anne :shamrock2:

 

[flyingfish]

I would imagine they’re both invalid as there’s no possibility of procreation from either one. In the OP’s case the individual was already married and had children, which makes the situation a bit different.

But the Church doesn’t forbid marriage to infertile men or to men with vasectomies. I’m just trying to understand why impotent men wouldn’t be in the same category.

 

[Erin_Anne]

If I’m recalling correctly (and it’s late, so I could be off on this - I welcome a correction if necessary) a man who has either had a vasectomy, or is impotent prior to being married is forbidden to enter into a marriage within the Catholic Church since the main purpose of marriage is to procreate (the same would apply to a woman who has had her tubes tied or uses any form of artificial birth control).

If the vasectomy occurs during the course of the Catholic marriage, he is then in a state of mortal sin until he becomes remorseful, confesses, is absolved and attempts to have it reversed. This topic is discussed in depth on the SSPX website:

sspx.org/catholic_faqs/catholic_faqs__morality.htm#sterilization

He he is infertile, assuming he didn’t know it until he and his wife tried to have a baby, there’s no moral issue because the intent to have kids was there.

This is more than enough thinking for me for the night!

 

[Seatuck]

Still having relations with his wife, regardless of the validity of the marriage.
I can think of a couple Priests that I know who would say “absolutely not”. Most won’t be that hard-core, but it depends on the individual.

Those priests are wrong. The Church does not require abstinence. Just repentance and absolution. Some couples may wish to reverse a surgical procedure to restore their marital relations and that is supported but not required. Some couples may wish to practice a form of NFP as a form of reparation and that is also supported but not required.