Sex after hysterectomy...Just double checking

[bitterhope]

I would have kept my ovaries so hormonally I would have been alright–no menopause or anything like that, just no uterus so no fertility or period. He had a few “valid” reasons he could list, just the reasons would have been exaggerated. How could anyone sue for something that either didn’t happen because they say no, or did happened that they consented to, signed for, and had valid although exaggerated reasons for? Quite honestly, at the time, a hysterectomy was the least of my concerns. Now there are days I wish I had taken him up on it. I’m thoroughly convinced there are other women who have. When faced with years and years of abstinence or a dr willing to trump up a medical need for a hysterectomy, I understand why some women agree. I don’t fault them or judge them, and there are days I wish I was brave enough to consent to it myself. It would be nice to not worry about my monthly cycle. My uterus is not any other use to me at this point and only is there for my period. Yes, I’m facing more than 20 years before menopause if family history is accurate for me as well. Yes, there are days I wish I would have agreed and had it done. As it stands, unless my husband has a major change of heart, I’ll never have another child. So I’m looking at more than 20 years of abstinence. I completely get why some women do agree and really don’t fault them for it one bit.

I’m sure medical reasons are there for the vast majority of hysterectomies in the US. I’m also sure there are times women exaggerate to the dr and drs exaggerate to their patients. It happens and that’s why the Church states that it must be medically necessary. It’s always a good idea to examine the intent behind your actions and decisions.

The OP is fine. There is a REAL medical need for the operation. There is no reason for her to continue to suffer. She’s tried other things. She deserves relief. I have no doubt that this is perfectly legit. She is able to continue being intimate with her husband with no worries. I’m glad she’s finally finding relief.

 

[Xantippe]

I would have kept my ovaries so hormonally I would have been alright–no menopause or anything like that, just no uterus so no fertility or period. He had a few “valid” reasons he could list, just the reasons would have been exaggerated. How could anyone sue for something that either didn’t happen because they say no, or did happened that they consented to, signed for, and had valid although exaggerated reasons for? Quite honestly, at the time, a hysterectomy was the least of my concerns. Now there are days I wish I had taken him up on it. I’m thoroughly convinced there are other women who have. When faced with years and years of abstinence or a dr willing to trump up a medical need for a hysterectomy, I understand why some women agree. I don’t fault them or judge them, and there are days I wish I was brave enough to consent to it myself. It would be nice to not worry about my monthly cycle. My uterus is not any other use to me at this point and only is there for my period. Yes, I’m facing more than 20 years before menopause if family history is accurate for me as well. Yes, there are days I wish I would have agreed and had it done. As it stands, unless my husband has a major change of heart, I’ll never have another child. So I’m looking at more than 20 years of abstinence. I completely get why some women do agree and really don’t fault them for it one bit.

I’m sure medical reasons are there for the vast majority of hysterectomies in the US. I’m also sure there are times women exaggerate to the dr and drs exaggerate to their patients. It happens and that’s why the Church states that it must be medically necessary. It’s always a good idea to examine the intent behind your actions and decisions.

The OP is fine. There is a REAL medical need for the operation. There is no reason for her to continue to suffer. She’s tried other things. She deserves relief. I have no doubt that this is perfectly legit. She is able to continue being intimate with her husband with no worries. I’m glad she’s finally finding relief.

That’s really unfortunate.

With regard to the question–how could you sue? Easily if there were any adverse outcome that could have been avoided by not doing the surgery.

 

[Xantippe]

IWhen faced with years and years of abstinence or a dr willing to trump up a medical need for a hysterectomy, I understand why some women agree. I don’t fault them or judge them, and there are days I wish I was brave enough to consent to it myself. It would be nice to not worry about my monthly cycle. My uterus is not any other use to me at this point and only is there for my period. Yes, I’m facing more than 20 years before menopause if family history is accurate for me as well. Yes, there are days I wish I would have agreed and had it done. As it stands, unless my husband has a major change of heart, I’ll never have another child. So I’m looking at more than 20 years of abstinence. I completely get why some women do agree and really don’t fault them for it one bit.

This is off-topic the thread, so apologies to the OP.

Bitterhope, do you think that there’s any hope of getting your husband to therapy or marriage counseling? There may be some sort of psychological thing going on in excess to the feelings normal to your family situation.

 

[Burt_Macklin]

So am I.

I live in one of the most liberal states in the US.

I’d also argue that my state has the best health care in the country, if not the world.

Best hospitals, best doctors, best medical schools and the best care.

Like I said…I’ve never heard of anyone getting a hysterectomy for birth control reasons. Tubals…yes. Hysterectomy…no.

Finding a doctor to perform a tubal ligation is also a challenge if you’re young or have no children.

As difficult as it can be to find a doctor to perform a tubal ligation on a healthy woman with no children I find it hard to believe an OB/GYN is going to perform a hysterectomy on a healthy woman for no other reason than birth control. The practice is viewed by the ACOG as unethical and would expose the doctor to all sorts of legal risks. Basically a woman would have to find a quack you wouldn’t even want to operate on your dog and pay out of pocket for a serious and potentially debilitating procedure. There might be women who’ve done that but they probably number in the dozens.

 

[Xantippe]

Finding a doctor to perform a tubal ligation is also a challenge if you’re young or have no children.

As difficult as it can be to find a doctor to perform a tubal ligation on a healthy woman with no children I find it hard to believe an OB/GYN is going to perform a hysterectomy on a healthy woman for no other reason than birth control. The practice is viewed by the ACOG as unethical and would expose the doctor to all sorts of legal risks. Basically a woman would have to find a quack you wouldn’t even want to operate on your dog and pay out of pocket for a serious and potentially debilitating procedure. There might be women who’ve done that but they probably number in the dozens.

Yeah–people online complain bitterly about how hard it is to get a doctor to do a sterilization when you’re young.

 

[bitterhope]

This is off-topic the thread, so apologies to the OP.

Bitterhope, do you think that there’s any hope of getting your husband to therapy or marriage counseling? There may be some sort of psychological thing going on in excess to the feelings normal to your family situation.

I’ll send you a PM later when I have more time, but a quick answer is we already are and he is individually. Both are kind of dependent on scheduling but both will continue at least until he deploys in the spring. He sees both the MFLC and his unit chaplain (Protestant) and we both go to the catholic chaplain at the chapel and the pastor at our new parish. It’s too complicated to really get into here. But I will send you a PM when I get time later. I do appreciate you taking the time to care and find solutions. Thank you

 

[12345678]

It does at times happen for birth control even now. I was offered a hysterectomy after I lost my twins last year because the dr knew as a Catholic I would not agree to getting my tubes tied and I already told him I was not interested in birth control pills. He attempted to get me to consent by bringing up trouble with my cycle (heavy bleeding but never anemia or anything like that) and the fact that my husband and I have no faith in NFP. He knew that hysterectomies are allowed by the Church and “just about anything is a medical issue you know”. He even counseled me on what to tell my husband, priest and family as for the reason it was necessary. Of course I turned him down but I’m sure others have taken drs up on it. There are reasons that it is stressed that a medical necessity must exist for a hysterectomy and that it an not be used for birth control. And who knows what happens in other countries with or without the consent of women. Not all drs are as wonderful as they are made out to be on these boards. Especially secular physicians. No one should blindly trust and follow their advice without question. There are reasons most people are advised to receive second and third opinions. Not all drs are trustworthy, good, moral or even caring. Not all drs follow the recommendations or even the law. Some are money hungry and surgery tends to be a rather large bill. I’m glad most people have the ability to choose their own drs but mine are pretty much chosen for me by the military health system. That particular dr is a quite well known civilian maternal-fetal health specialist at a well known university hospital. I’m nearly positive he has offered this to many others over the years.

This was my impression.

Google it and you will find studies that suggest that anywhere from 1 in 5 to 2/3 of hysterectomies are unnecessary. In the US it is the second most common surgery on women after C section, so it is pretty common. While clearly there are other factors being evaluated, can’t sterilization may be considered one of the factors that push towards an unnecessary hysterectomy? (Oh, you have this problem and you don’t want to worry about having any more kids… hysterectomy) Sterilization has to be an unintended side effect, not a factor that leads to choosing hysterectomy as the solution to a problem that could be treated otherwise.
Convert: Please note, I am not suggesting anything about your case, in one of the articles I read it said that nearly 40% hadn’t tried any alternatives before (or something along those lines), and we all know you have been through several. Hysterectomies can be very necessary for people’s health, the person involved with their doctor need to look into that, I am just trying to address other comments I am seeing here.

Almost 1 in 5 hysterectomies are ‘unnecessary,’ study finds
Article 2/3

 

[Javan]

Yeah–people online complain bitterly about how hard it is to get a doctor to do a sterilization when you’re young.

I think it depends on the doctor. My sister was able to get a tubal at age 24, despite the fact that she wasn’t married and had never had children. She had to go through a 30 day waiting period and sign a bunch of consent forms, but other than that she didn’t have to do anything special to get it done.

 

[Mordocai]

My understanding of why it is permissible is because “in principle” (even if not in FACT) the marital act is of itself ordered towards life. So even if one is sterile that does not remove the very principle of marital intimacy being ordered towards life even if, in fact, it is not possible. Of course you can always be open in your heart to a miracle!

Does that sound right everyone? Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s how I make sense of it.

Mordecai

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

health.ny.gov/community/adults/women/hysterectomy/#alterna

Reasons why hysterectomies may be recommended fall into three categories:

to save lives;
to correct serious problems that interfere with normal functions;
to improve the quality of life.
The following describe the more common reasons for recommending hysterectomies.

Cancer of the Uterus or Ovary

Cancerous organs and, in some cases, adjoining organs and structures, are removed in order to stop the spread of this life-threatening disease.

Fibroids

These are common non-cancerous (benign) tumors of the uterus and they are the most frequent reason for recommending a hysterectomy. They grow from the muscular wall of the uterus and are made up of muscle and fibrous tissue. Many women over 35 have fibroids, but usually have no symptoms.

In some women, however, fibroids (myomas) may cause heavy bleeding, pelvic discomfort and pain and occasionally pressure on other organs. These symptoms may require treatment, but not always a hysterectomy. There are promising new experimental drugs that may temporarily shrink the tumors; however, these drugs may have serious side effects. They are generally very costly. There is a type of abdominal surgery (myomectomy) that removes the myoma without removing the uterus (see Alternatives for additional information). These treatments may be sufficient or they may offer temporary relief and enable a woman to postpone having a hysterectomy, especially if she still wishes to bear children.

Some women choose to do nothing since fibroids will often shrink in size as a woman goes through menopause.

Endometriosis

Another common reason for recommending a hysterectomy is endometriosis. This is a noncancerous condition in which cells from the uterine lining grow like islands outside of the uterus. This growth occurs most commonly on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, bladder, bowel and other pelvic structures, including the uterine wall. These cells may cause pain and discomfort by bleeding at the time of menstruation. Endometriosis may also cause scarring, adhesions and infertility.

Symptoms can vary greatly and some women choose to do nothing, or find that drug therapy, pain relief medication or more localized surgery are effective. When these are not effective, hysterectomy may be the treatment of choice.

Prolapse

As a woman ages, the vaginal supports begin to lose their muscle tone and sag downward (prolapse). With prolapse, the bladder and/or rectum may be pulled downward with the uterus. This happens to most women to some degree. For the vast majority, the sagging is minor and symptoms are not severe.

If the prolapse worsens, some women experience a heavy or dragging feeling in the pelvic area, problems controlling bladder and/or bowel function, and occasionally, protrusion of one of the organs through the vaginal opening.

Some women get relief from these symptoms by doing special exercises (“Kegels”) to strengthen the pelvic muscles, by taking hormone therapy or by using a plastic or metal ring (pessary) which may help to hold the uterus in place. None of these treats the underlying problem.

A hysterectomy with repair of supporting structures is usually recommended in more serious cases. A woman has to decide for herself if the discomfort is great enough to have a hysterectomy.

Cancer of the Cervix

Precancerous changes in the cervix are often found on routine Pap smears. These lesions or abnormalities must be treated, but rarely with a hysterectomy. When detected early and treated effectively, most of these conditions do not progress to invasive, life-threatening cancer. they can be treated conservatively, usually on an outpatient basis.

It is only in the case of invasive cancer of the cervix that hysterectomy may be the treatment of choice.

Pre-Cancer of the Uterus

A pre-cancerous change can occur when the lining of the uterus (endometrium) overgrows. “Hyperplasia of the endometrium” means an overgrowth of the lining of the uterus. It causes irregular and/or excessive bleeding. The overgrown lining can usually be treated with hormone therapy and/or a “D & C” (dilation and curettage) a simple outpatient procedure to clean out overgrown tissue. In more severe cases or cases that do not respond to treatment, hyperplasia of the endometrium may lead to cancer of the uterus. Upon diagnosis of cancer, a hysterectomy would be the treatment of choice.

Pelvic Adhesions

Irritation of the lining of the abdomen may cause adhesions (scarring) which bind affected organs to each other. The adhesions can result from endometriosis, infection or injury. The symptoms may include severe pain, bowel and bladder problems and infertility.

Pain relief medication or less drastic surgery, such as laser therapy, can be effective in some cases. In very serious cases, hysterectomy may be recommended. However, a hysterectomy itself can cause adhesions.

Unusually Heavy Bleeding

It is normal for the amount and length of menstrual flow to vary from woman to woman. There may also be differences in menstrual flow from one cycle to the next. If bleeding that is unusually heavy or frequent for you occurs, this may be due to a variety of causes. The most common causes are fibroids and hormonal changes.

Because there can be many reasons for unusually heavy bleeding, getting an accurate diagnosis is vital before deciding on a course of treatment. Depending on the diagnosis, drug therapy or minor surgery may be indicated. Rarely, there can be hemorrhage of the uterus in which case a hysterectomy can be life saving.

Pelvic Pain

This is a common symptom. As with heavy bleeding, there can be a number of causes for pelvic (lower belly) pain. These include endometriosis, fibroids, ovarian cysts, infection or scar tissue. Pain in the pelvic area may not be related to the uterus.

I found this site and thought I’d post.