if you have the original full intention of completing sex in a lawful and unitive manner but while engaged in foreplay don’t end up doing that, would that not be considered full consent?
I have to add that I suppose there was a second or two consent but if in a state of heightened passions, does that change things?
What about if there is a thought process of “we should stop this b/c this might happen”…
The basic question is how much time or thought is required for “full consent” and how much does being a state of passion change that, if when engaging in the passionate acts the full intention was moral and lawful?
To Link0126
From JAW642 on 12/08/2011
In the long run, only you can determine if this was essentially an uncontrollable Accident for you.
My guess is that you were engaged in sexual foreplay with, your wife (Hopefully), and she was either playing with your erection, or giving you oral sex, (which are both allowable), and she simply caused your penis to cum too fast, before you could muster up enough willpower to tell her to Stop.
So based on your Post, here is my personal opinion, for whatever that is worth. I think you were enjoying it so much, and things were happening too fast, for you to put sufficient thought into the situation, to constitute the Full Consent of you Will. In other words, I think it was a relatively uncontrollable Accident.
I agree that your state of heightened passions, does have a bearing on your ability to think emotionlessly, quickly and decisively, and I think it should reduce your responsibility of things.
I think that you did not have sufficient time to easily resist the physical process, so you ejaculated before you were able to penetrate her.
I think it takes more than a few seconds to have Full Consent. You may have had some consent or partial consent, but that is not sufficient for a mortal sin, (which you didn’t plan on committing in the first place).
Since you cannot definitely say for shore, you have to treat this as a Doubtful sin, which the Catholic Church says does not have to be confessed.
I think you should treat this as a learning experience for you. Hopefully the next time around, you will be more aware of what your penis can and cannot do. And how much sexual stimulation your penis can take before it explodes !
As long as you don’t deliberately plan this to happen, don’t worry about it, if this type of Accident should happen again in the future. Just make an effort to try to control it better next time, for your wife’s sake.
So here’s to the next time.
The bottom line is, in my opinion, that this situation is that the area most, a Doubtful sin, and NOT a mortal sin. Therefore, I honestly believe that you would be okay to receive Holy Communion, without ever confessing this to a priest.
Here is what Father Farraher has written when he was talking about masturbation. But the same must also hold true when it comes to nudity, erections, arousal, ejaculations, and thrusting.
Father Farraher also points out that sexual stimulation by a married couple is morally licit if it leads to natural vaginal intercourse or completes the marital act.'2 Farraher is very exact about what constitutes grave malice in masturbation when he writes: "for a person to be formally guilty of a mortal sin of masturbation his act must be a fully deliberate choice of what he fully realizes is seriously sinful."13 If such an act is done with only partial realization, or partial consent of the will, it is a venial sin; and “if there is no free choice of the will there is no guilt of sin at all even if the person is aware of what he is doing.”'4 Farraher goes on to point out that there is no sin even when a person foresees that sexual stimulation and orgasm will result from some action that the person is freely performing, provided that he does not intend such stimulation, but merely permits it, and that he has a sufficiently good reason for doing it. (This is simply an application of the principle of the twofold effect.)'5
Farraher corrects the misunderstanding that many Catholics have that if they experience sexual stimulation, however unwillingly, they have committed mortal sin.16
Guilt and Shame in All Forms of Masturbation
So, likewise, in the question of masturbation many persons torture themselves needlessly. I refer primarily to good living people whose only “sin” is masturbation. The spiritual counselor or confessor who knows the struggles that these persons have had tries to make it clear that there has been no free consent to the impulse to masturbate.
There is no grievous sin if a person masturbates while lacking in awareness, as when he is half awake, or half asleep, or when a person is carried away by sudden passion and finds himself committing the act despite the resistance of the will. This is one of the effects of original sin, that human passions tend to overcome the acts of the will (Rom. 7: l~2O). An individual may agree with this reasoning, and yet in his heart feel guilty of masturbation, because he will say to himself, “If I had tried harder I would not have had the fantasies, I should be able to get rid of all my impure thoughts.”
The trouble with this feeling of guilt is that it presupposes that we humans have perfect control over our passions not only over lust, but also over avarice, anger, and other disordered emotions. We know that we have no such control. The person involved in masturbation, however, needs to believe that with God’s grace he can overcome the habit of masturbation.
From JAW642 on 12/08/2011
