Sex and marriage

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foxc1

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I have a dilemma. I recently got married, but I am wondering what is right and what is wrong in marital relations. My husband wants me to have oral sex with him, and masturbate each other during foreplay (sorry to be so graphic). My concern is that the Catholic Church is against those two things, but if it is an act between the married couple, and used as foreplay, wouldn’t these acts be ok? I don’t know what to tell my husband, he really likes oral sex, and I had done it to him before I really knew it was wrong (I was quite ignorant about the faith until recently). I mean, if it ends in coitus, wouldn’t it be ok?
 
foxc1 said:
I have a dilemma. I recently got married, but I am wondering what is right and what is wrong in marital relations. My husband wants me to have oral sex with him, and masturbate each other during foreplay (sorry to be so graphic). My concern is that the Catholic Church is against those two things, but if it is an act between the married couple, and used as foreplay, wouldn’t these acts be ok? I don’t know what to tell my husband, he really likes oral sex, and I had done it to him before I really knew it was wrong (I was quite ignorant about the faith until recently). I mean, if it ends in coitus, wouldn’t it be ok?
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My guess is that it is morally wrong, but then again, I could be wrong. Since you say it’d be as foreplay, I don’t know if it’d be wrong… sorry I couldn’t come up with a better answer. 😦
 
I believe everything you mentioned is fine as long as it ends in actual sex.
 
foxc1 said:
I have a dilemma. I recently got married, but I am wondering what is right and what is wrong in marital relations. My husband wants me to have oral sex with him, and masturbate each other during foreplay (sorry to be so graphic). My concern is that the Catholic Church is against those two things, but if it is an act between the married couple, and used as foreplay, wouldn’t these acts be ok? I don’t know what to tell my husband, he really likes oral sex, and I had done it to him before I really knew it was wrong (I was quite ignorant about the faith until recently). I mean, if it ends in coitus, wouldn’t it be ok?
Click to expand...
Foreplay just needs to end in coitus - it sounds like it would be just fine.
 
As the others mentioned there is nothing wrong with the various things you described but only if the, uh, seed, ends up where it belongs!

On the other hand, we are not to use our spouses as sexual playthings, something for our own personal gratification. This objectivises our spouse. This is a more difficult balance to work out than merely what is morally permissable.

Here is a simple rule of thumb. If you or your spouse feel used or uncomfortable, it is probably not good. If it makes you or your spouse feel good to do something for your spouse, assuming the seed eventually goes where it belongs, then it is probably fine.

The key term to remember is “mutual self donation”.
 
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