Sex before marriage

[xomiababy22xo]

Hey, I’m pretty new to Catholic Answers so I am not entirely sure how this works, but I have a question. I am Catholic and I have always been really interested in Catholiciam. I’ve always wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. I met this boy back in October and for some reason everything changed. I went to my school so we ended up hanging out nearly every day. Eventually we did end up having sex. I really regret it. It wasn’t just one time, it was multiple times. We did a lot of sexual activities that I know are against the Catholic religion. I feel terribly bad about the whole situation. I really do like the boy and we are still together now. How can I be forgiven and be closer to Christ? How can I also talk to my boyfriend about having a more pure relationship?

 

[Luigi_Daniele]

Hey, I’m pretty new to Catholic Answers so I am not entirely sure how this works, but I have a question. I am Catholic and I have always been really interested in Catholiciam. I’ve always wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. I met this boy back in October and for some reason everything changed. I went to my school so we ended up hanging out nearly every day. Eventually we did end up having sex. I really regret it. It wasn’t just one time, it was multiple times. We did a lot of sexual activities that I know are against the Catholic religion. I feel terribly bad about the whole situation. I really do like the boy and we are still together now. How can I be forgiven and be closer to Christ? How can I also talk to my boyfriend about having a more pure relationship?

Welcome to CAF.

1. Go to Confession ASAP
2. Tell the boy that you made a mistake, and if he wants to remain with you, fine…but that he has to know that from now until marriage, you will remain a virtual virgin.

 

[lssanjose]

Welcome to CAF.

1. Go to Confession ASAP
2. Tell the boy that you made a mistake, and if he wants to remain with you, fine…but that he has to know that from now until marriage, you will remain a virtual virgin.

+1.

Doing #1, does take a lot of psychological, and emotional weight off. Doing #2, will lend itself to easy separation, damage control (if wanting to stay together) - depending on the person’s mental/emotional makeup; or, an easy transition (again, going back to the makeup of the other.

 

[Lady_Love]

Keep in mind that a man who loves you will ultimately want you to be happy. Be very honest with him that the practice of your faith means a lot to you and that you are being untrue to yourself and God. Reassure him that it has NOTHING to do with him. Let him know that you love him and you want to continue the relationship. Ask him to show his love for you in other ways. I can’t stress enough that you have to reassure him that it is NOT about him.

Once you stop engaging in sex, you HAVE to be strong. You can’t compromise and go back and forth. This will confuse him and make him mad. Ask him to help you in this effort.

This will be very hard for the both of you so pray a lot. Pray, pray. pray before you talk to him. Maybe even fast for a few days. God can work miracles!

He may get mad at first and let him have his feelings. He may retreat from you for a few days even weeks as he processes the information. Be patient and give him this space to process. Do not be afraid. If he truly loves you he will come around.

My prayers are with you.

 

[michaelmas]

Yes Confession is key. I remember being in confession and the Priest giving me this advice about petting and other sexual things. “Relationships are like cake. It doesn’t matter how good the frosting is if the cake is bad no amount of frosting will make it any better”. Good advice.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Welcome! I hope you come here often with more questions about the faith. I’m glad you’re here.
When dating, if you both remain chaste, it helps you to think more clearly. God designed sexual intimacy to be bonding between a man and woman. There are many people who have been intimate, moved in together, and find out down the road that this was not a loving, caring, building up kind of relationship that they wanted. Intimacy before it’s time bonds people together who maybe should never have been together.

Dating should be a time of looking for a life partner. Having a clear head is important because decisions you make now will set you on a course for your whole life. Be smart. God has left us the instruction manual in the teachings of the Church, and those who disregard the instructions can end up in quite a train wreck down the road.

God bless

 

[OurLadyisGod]

I think you can do whatever you want just don’t promote heresy like saying God is a burning bush. And besides the sacrament of marriage doesn’t exist anymore. All the sacraments have been burned and there’s none left. I think all couples should go to a shrine of Our Lady and lay roses and say the 150 rosary and consecrate their relationship to her and make sure you preserve the 3 keys of heaven which are: Our Lady is God,Christ is God, Holy Ghost.

 

[Inquiringperson]

I think you can do whatever you want just don’t promote heresy like saying God is a burning bush. And besides the sacrament of marriage doesn’t exist anymore. All the sacraments have been burned and there’s none left. I think all couples should go to a shrine of Our Lady and lay roses and say the 150 rosary and consecrate their relationship to her and make sure you preserve the 3 keys of heaven which are: Our Lady is God,Christ is God, Holy Ghost.

That’s heresy. The sacraments are eternal. Mary is not God. Jesus is God. Plus, God did appear to Moses in the form of a burning bush. Also, the Church teaches that pre-marital sex is a distortion of our sexuality, and a form of lust. Please talk to your priest. Your belief in these heresies can jeopardize your chance to go to heaven and will ruin your relationship with God.

 

[thunderboom]

That’s heresy. The sacraments are eternal. Mary is not God. Jesus is God. Plus, God did appear to Moses in the form of a burning bush. Also, the Church teaches that pre-marital sex is a distortion of our sexuality, and a form of lust. Please talk to your priest. Your belief in these heresies can jeopardize your chance to go to heaven and will ruin your relationship with God.

Thank you. I want to know, how can anyone with even the most rudimentary knowledge of Scripture, Tradition, history, or theology can even possibly believe this things. I mean, what the heck???

 

[OurLadyisGod]

call i la pieta the obligation Christ is God and you have to know that for when you die when you come to the gates you have to answer Christ is God not son of a burning bush you have to know the distinction or else you are hooped and will be hell forever if you want the other keys they are: Our Lady is God,the Holy Ghost I don’t know if you need all three but I think Our Lady would just love Christ is God those are the names of God recap: Our Lady is God,Christ is God,the Holy Ghost use these keys they cost alot I mean alot

 

[Daim3]

I think you can do whatever you want just don’t promote heresy like saying God is a burning bush. And besides the sacrament of marriage doesn’t exist anymore. All the sacraments have been burned and there’s none left. I think all couples should go to a shrine of Our Lady and lay roses and say the 150 rosary and consecrate their relationship to her and make sure you preserve the 3 keys of heaven which are: Our Lady is God,Christ is God, Holy Ghost.

Troll.

 

[OurLadyisGod]

it’s true you have to know that Christ is God and not the son of a burning bush you have to know the distinction or else you are hooped and working for the freemasons in hell please just remember Christ is God for when you die or anyother hairy situation this info didn’t come cheap

 

[Daim3]

1. Go to Confession ASAP
2. Tell the boy that you made a mistake, and if he wants to remain with you, fine…but that he has to know that from now until marriage, you will remain a virtual virgin.

And yes, this. A promise of chastity can certainly bring you closer to Our Lord, as will enriching your prayer life, offering up small sacrifices and doing good works. Try it; you’ll see. Remember, you are worth waiting for chastely. How he reacts will reveal a lot about what he’s made of.

 

[manualman]

Yes, absolutely go to confession. But don’t kid yourself that that takes away all the consequences in THIS world of premarital sex. You two have partaken in something DESIGNED to be superglue to a relationship. It’s going to be a lot harder now to stay chaste and to discern if this is the right guy for you in marriage because you guys jumped the gun.

Make yourself live a regular prayer life where you have quiet time. Make sure you have enough time for other friends apart from him. These things will be utterly crucial for you to be able to make a healthy discernment about where this relationship is going. If he continues to push for sex, that ought to be a pretty good clue…

 

[twoangels]

Hey, I’m pretty new to Catholic Answers so I am not entirely sure how this works, but I have a question. I am Catholic and I have always been really interested in Catholiciam. I’ve always wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. I met this boy back in October and for some reason everything changed. I went to my school so we ended up hanging out nearly every day. Eventually we did end up having sex. I really regret it. It wasn’t just one time, it was multiple times. We did a lot of sexual activities that I know are against the Catholic religion. I feel terribly bad about the whole situation. I really do like the boy and we are still together now. How can I be forgiven and be closer to Christ? How can I also talk to my boyfriend about having a more pure relationship?

Go to confession.

Try not to view Catholic morality and chastity as a list of forbidden sexual behaviors. Try rather to understand that the Church upholds marriage. It does not uphold romantically sexually involved “relationships” that barely resemble dating or courtship in the traditional line of thinking. Ultimately, what we have done to dating is removed any sort of convention. People follow their feelings as they wish. They start liking someone, so they see the person more and more. At some point they long for exclusivity. They long to be each other’s, but they’re not ready for marriage. Instead they enter into a sort of marriage like relationship without the serious marital commitments. Once they’ve been together successfully for years, they marry to more of celebrate and affirm what already has existed. Trying to take this approach to how we interact with the opposite sex when we’re mutually attracted doesn’t work morally speaking if you’re just trying to avoid sex. Everything else about your behavior points more closely to something like marriage. It stirs sexual tensions and is tricky territory.

I do think once you are ready to discern marriage with someone, you have to expect remaining chaste to be a challenge. Confession needs to be sought out regularly.