Sex before Marriage

[MOLNA]

I recently engaged with relations with my bf of 1.5 years. We r both Catholic, however I was more strictly raised with it. I feel awful after doing it. I went to Confession and confessed to the priest and he said it was ok as long as we get married. Is that true? I also am not sure If i should marry him, I love him alot but I feel like there is something/someone else out there for me. Im so confused about it all.

 

[Cojuanco]

Charitably, I will assume the priest meant that were you to marry him, it would not be a sin. Which is true, hence our existences, presumably. But what you did, ceteris paribus, is grave matter. I’ll also assume he gave you absolution. If not, try to see another priest.

And no, do not just marry him because you had relations with him. Marriage is a vocation which bins us, where valid, for life. Would you, in the cold light of day, want to be with your boyfriend, no matter what, for the next fifty to sixty years? Raise his children, do the dishes, do all the things a spouse does? Perhaps, perhaps not. That’s what you have to think about. You have doubts, good. Don’t rush into this. Talk with your parents or someone you trust. You don’t need to repeat what you said in confession, but just say that you’re thinking of marrying this young man. You don’t have to take their advice, but just listen to them.

 

[Skyhighblue34]

Either you don’t have sex again while you stay in your relationship, get married, or break up with him.

 

[phil19034]

I recently engaged with relations with my bf of 1.5 years. We r both Catholic, however I was more strictly raised with it. I feel awful after doing it. I went to Confession and confessed to the priest and he said it was ok as long as we get married. Is that true? I also am not sure If i should marry him, I love him alot but I feel like there is something/someone else out there for me. Im so confused about it all.

Religion aside… if you feel awful about it, don’t do again.

 

[TK421]

Don’t do it. If he leaves over it, he’s unworthy, and nothing of value is lost.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Having sex with your boyfriend is a sin. If you were getting married next month and everything was in place for the wedding, having sex with your boyfriend is still a sin. Is that what you are asking?

When dating, we really need to keep our head clear, and engaging in sex and getting the hormones involved really makes it hard to think straight. Many young ladies married and some time later wondered what on earth they were thinking. It’s a time to be sober, and to enjoy as your dating time for what it is, a time to discern your life partner and what direction do you wish to take in life.

I hope you hang around Catholic Answers and increase your faith even more deeply.
God bless and guide you.

 

[Demetra2]

Religion aside… if you feel awful about it, don’t do again.

There is no “religion aside” here! It is all about religion and what God’s will is for her. First of all the OP feels bad about premarital sex because she is committing a mortal sin. And that is never God’s will. It is very good that she is responding to that feeling. OP, It is good that you went to confession but I doubt that the priest actually meant that it was OK to continue to sin with your BF even if you plan to get married. Keep in mind that when you have sex with someone it can falsely lead you to believe that you belong together. You will actually get a clearer picture and better understanding of your BF and your relationship if you refrain from sex. Sex without marriage is a false commitment that will cloud your judgement. Remember that God loves you very much and wants the best for you.

 

[heidi_storage]

And no, do not just marry him because you had relations with him. Marriage is a vocation which bins us, where valid, for life. Would you, in the cold light of day, want to be with your boyfriend, no matter what, for the next fifty to sixty years? Raise his children, do the dishes, do all the things a spouse does? Perhaps, perhaps not. That’s what you have to think about. You have doubts, good. Don’t rush into this. Talk with your parents or someone you trust. You don’t need to repeat what you said in confession, but just say that you’re thinking of marrying this young man. You don’t have to take their advice, but just listen to them.

Absolutely. Will he help raise your children in the faith? Will he help you along your journey to Heaven, and will the two of you place God at the center of your marriage? What about as the father of children–are you two on the same page about that? Will he hold your hair when you’re puking, walk hospital corridors with you when you’re groaning with labor pains, and change diapers for your future children? Will you love him when you’re both grumpy from lack of sleep and time?

Not to be frivolous, but the old slogan “A puppy is for life, not for Christmas” applies very strongly here! And I do think that sometimes people put more care into adopting a pet than they do in choosing their spouses. So, be careful–and be chaste going forward, as others have urged. But clearly your conscience is not hardened to habitual fornication, so that’s a very good thing.

Stay in the Word, stay in prayer.