To be clear, I am not disagreeing with Pope Pius. That being said, I think this does not condemn a Catholic couple for desiring pleasure within the marriage act, nor do I think it explicitly condemns certain methods of achieving pleasure within the marriage act.
Pope Pius XII from his Address to Midwives:
Therefore, the spouses, by seeking and enjoying this pleasure, do not do anything wrong. They accept what the Creator has intended for them.
In total agreement there.
Nevertheless, here also, the spouses must know how to keep themselves within the limits of a just moderation. As with the pleasure of food and drink, so also with the sexual, they must not abandon themselves without restraint to the impulses of the senses.
Once again, in total agreement. However, this does not condemn a man or woman from seeking sexual gratification within the bounds of marriage. To my understanding, Pope Pius is saying that unchecked gratification of our sexual appetites with pleasure as its sole end is wrong, as it is with anything else.
And this law, so very reasonable, concerns not only the substance, but also the circumstances of the act, so that, even when the substance of the act remains morally safe, it is possible to sin in the way it is performed.
Okay, but could you elaborate? If he is referring to such acts as anal sex, oral sex(meaning to the point of male climax), or “threesomes”, then I would say that it’s a “no-brainer.” But what about oral or manual stimulation? If my wife decides to turn me on by putting on some sexy lingerie and posing in front of me, is that sinful?
This anti-Christian hedonism too often is not ashamed to elevate itself to a doctrine, inculcating the ardent desire to make always more intense the pleasure, in the preparation and in the performance of the conjugal union, as if in matrimonial relations the whole moral law were reduced to the normal performance of the act itself, and as if all the rest, in whatever way it is done, were justified by the expression of mutual affection, were sanctified by the Sacrament of Matrimony, and made worthy of praise and reward before God and conscience. There is no thought at all of the dignity of man and of the Christian – a dignity which restrains the excess of sensuality. No; the gravity and the sanctity of the Christian moral law do not allow for an unchecked satisfaction of the sexual instinct, tending only to pleasure and enjoyment. They do not permit rational man to let himself be mastered to such an extent, neither as regards the substance, nor the circumstances of the act.
Once again, vague. I’m not one to say that “anything goes” as long as contraceptives aren’t involved, but I think it’s easy to take the above passage and misinterpret it to the point of rendering sex stale. Besides, doesn’t a married person have a duty and responsibility to satisfy his/her spouse in the marriage bed? Moreover, wouldn’t the temptations towards things like pornography and masturbation be that much stronger for person who was not satisfied in their sex life?
There are some who would allege that happiness in marriage is in direct proportion to the reciprocal enjoyment in conjugal relations.
Of course pleasure is not the be all and end all of anything in life. That being said, you wouldn’t want to eat oatmeal for breakfast every morning would you?
