Sex Is Everywhere at Work

[JackiRD]

This may be in the wrong section, but I thought this one fit best…

I am a junior in college and I work at our campus’ Center for Health and Well-Being. This center includes Health Service (providing basic medical care, including many contraceptives and the morning after pill), Counseling Center, Alcohol Tobacco and Other Drugs, and the Haven Project…who are constantly putting out flyers and bulletin boards about sexual responsibility in general. My job is just an office worker in the front office (doing copies, running errands, etc.). Often, the people at the Haven Project will come out with copies to be made or pamphlets to be folded on sexual responsibility or how to use a condom or the importance of “protecting” yourself. Oh and I couldn’t forget… they would like to soon open a dispensing window where they would sell all sorts of condoms: ones hidden in a keychain, colorful ones wrapped up like a lollipop saying “love you” on the front, flavored ones, dental dams…mostly they look colorful and fun like candy.

I consider myself a devout Catholic and am active with our Catholic student group. We have begun a Theology of the Body “book club” this semester (more like a study than a club) and I would consider nothing more than NFP when I marry. So, I am disgusted by what happens at work sometimes. My boss is a very nice woman and very respectful of people’s wishes. One girl is not comfortable with answering phones so my boss will always take the calls when she works. I would really like to talk with her about this and let her know that I become full of emotion when I’m given an assignment that promotes what I just cannot support. I feel sick almost. However, my boss has a son who is a freshman in college and his gf just had a daughter in August. I know, also, that my boss became pregnant when she was in college. I think that if I told her my concerns, she would do her best to respect them, but I really do not want to offend her by saying that I cannot support contraceptive use or mainly, premarital casual sex when she became pregnant young and so did her son. Another point that irritates me is the general assumption that all college students are getting it on. I know many are, but I guess its just offensive to me because of these morals I hold. I do not judge her or her son and I think it so wonderful and have praised God for their decisions to keep their children. I just know it could be a touchy subject for her.

Any advice you can offer, I really appreciate!! :thankyou:

 

[Moscati]

That’s tough.

If it’s a situation where this happens infrequently, and you think your boss would be amenable to making adjustments for you, I’d say give it a shot and talk to her. Don’t reference what you know about her personal life–just say you’ve been learning more about your Catholic faith, and it makes you uncomfortable.

If this happens regularly, and this is a major part of your job, then I would maybe seek employment elsewhere.

 

[Lethe]

This may be in the wrong section, but I thought this one fit best…

I am a junior in college and I work at our campus’ Center for Health and Well-Being. This center includes Health Service (providing basic medical care, including many contraceptives and the morning after pill), Counseling Center, Alcohol Tobacco and Other Drugs, and the Haven Project…who are constantly putting out flyers and bulletin boards about sexual responsibility in general. My job is just an office worker in the front office (doing copies, running errands, etc.). Often, the people at the Haven Project will come out with copies to be made or pamphlets to be folded on sexual responsibility or how to use a condom or the importance of “protecting” yourself. Oh and I couldn’t forget… they would like to soon open a dispensing window where they would sell all sorts of condoms: ones hidden in a keychain, colorful ones wrapped up like a lollipop saying “love you” on the front, flavored ones, dental dams…mostly they look colorful and fun like candy.

I consider myself a devout Catholic and am active with our Catholic student group. We have begun a Theology of the Body “book club” this semester (more like a study than a club) and I would consider nothing more than NFP when I marry. So, I am disgusted by what happens at work sometimes. My boss is a very nice woman and very respectful of people’s wishes. One girl is not comfortable with answering phones so my boss will always take the calls when she works. I would really like to talk with her about this and let her know that I become full of emotion when I’m given an assignment that promotes what I just cannot support. I feel sick almost. However, my boss has a son who is a freshman in college and his gf just had a daughter in August. I know, also, that my boss became pregnant when she was in college. I think that if I told her my concerns, she would do her best to respect them, but I really do not want to offend her by saying that I cannot support contraceptive use or mainly, premarital casual sex when she became pregnant young and so did her son. Another point that irritates me is the general assumption that all college students are getting it on. I know many are, but I guess its just offensive to me because of these morals I hold. I do not judge her or her son and I think it so wonderful and have praised God for their decisions to keep their children. I just know it could be a touchy subject for her.

Any advice you can offer, I really appreciate!! :thankyou:

This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but - if it bothers you so much, you should just get another job. I mean, what do you think is going to change? If this is such a large part of your job, and you morally oppose it, I’m sure you can find jobs that better fit your ideology.

I’m an atheist, though I consider myself to have decent morals, and I would add that non-religious people do not necessarily have any reason to keep sex within a marriage, or to even be monogamous. Birth control is vital for a lot of people, and if you are going to be not giving people information or hindering that in any way, you’re not helping these people.

A lot of people, probably most, at uni will be using contraception. They are not going to all convert to abstinence. And most are unfit to be parents yet. Think of it as the lesser of two evils…

 

[Et_Cetera]

Lethe is spot on.

 

[Tmaque]

This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but - if it bothers you so much, you should just get another job. I mean, what do you think is going to change? If this is such a large part of your job, and you morally oppose it, I’m sure you can find jobs that better fit your ideology.

I’m an atheist, though I consider myself to have decent morals, and I would add that non-religious people do not necessarily have any reason to keep sex within a marriage, or to even be monogamous. Birth control is vital for a lot of people, and if you are going to be not giving people information or hindering that in any way, you’re not helping these people.

A lot of people, probably most, at uni will be using contraception. They are not going to all convert to abstinence. And most are unfit to be parents yet. Think of it as the lesser of two evils…

I disagree completely. As Catholics we have a responsibility to speak up and let people know our objections when we are asked to do things that we find morally objectionable. One of the reasons our society is so morally bankrupt is that we have been silent too much. You never know who you might inspire by taking a respectful stand. My prayers will be with you.

 

[Coco82]

I have to agree w/Lethe as well. These factors won’t change at your work, they will continue to help students obtain contraception. If it is such a problem you should quit, because that is their overall purpose.

 

[Theophorus]

Tmaque is right.
From personal experience, when it comes to matters of contraception, abortion etc, silence is often taken for agreement. This position may also cause confusion and doubt among your book study group and friends if on the one hand you work here saying nothing and on the other you practice your faith. Finally I have found trying to take the silent approach does not work, at least it didn’t for me, and pitting faith against actions tends to cause a tension and stress in your life which is not worth it. Sooner or later you will have to choose.

God bless

 

[EmeraldWings]

This may be in the wrong section, but I thought this one fit best…

I am a junior in college and I work at our campus’ Center for Health and Well-Being. This center includes Health Service (providing basic medical care, including many contraceptives and the morning after pill), Counseling Center, Alcohol Tobacco and Other Drugs, and the Haven Project…who are constantly putting out flyers and bulletin boards about sexual responsibility in general. My job is just an office worker in the front office (doing copies, running errands, etc.). Often, the people at the Haven Project will come out with copies to be made or pamphlets to be folded on sexual responsibility or how to use a condom or the importance of “protecting” yourself. Oh and I couldn’t forget… they would like to soon open a dispensing window where they would sell all sorts of condoms: ones hidden in a keychain, colorful ones wrapped up like a lollipop saying “love you” on the front, flavored ones, dental dams…mostly they look colorful and fun like candy.

I consider myself a devout Catholic and am active with our Catholic student group. We have begun a Theology of the Body “book club” this semester (more like a study than a club) and I would consider nothing more than NFP when I marry. So, I am disgusted by what happens at work sometimes. My boss is a very nice woman and very respectful of people’s wishes. One girl is not comfortable with answering phones so my boss will always take the calls when she works. I would really like to talk with her about this and let her know that I become full of emotion when I’m given an assignment that promotes what I just cannot support. I feel sick almost. However, my boss has a son who is a freshman in college and his gf just had a daughter in August. I know, also, that my boss became pregnant when she was in college. I think that if I told her my concerns, she would do her best to respect them, but I really do not want to offend her by saying that I cannot support contraceptive use or mainly, premarital casual sex when she became pregnant young and so did her son. Another point that irritates me is the general assumption that all college students are getting it on. I know many are, but I guess its just offensive to me because of these morals I hold. I do not judge her or her son and I think it so wonderful and have praised God for their decisions to keep their children. I just know it could be a touchy subject for her.

Any advice you can offer, I really appreciate!! :thankyou:

i would not support such a thing…the church clearly and strongly speaks out against any and all types of birth prevention(except NFP and abstinence of course)

don’t worry about offending others when it comes to your morals and what the church teaches,
of course we should care about hurting someones feelings, but we should also remember that if we do not speak out against these things and let people know what we believe, then they will not take these issues seriously,
and although it’s good to be careful not to hurt someones feelings, we should be more concerned with not offending God,

there are to many Catholics right now who just keep quiet about their beliefs, some out of fear, others because they think they need to be “open minded” or “respectful” of others(which we do, but not like that), or others who just don’t care…we really need to speak out against these things, there is an *abundance *of people who speak out in favor of these sinful lifestyles, and just way to few that speak against it…
it’s not just about being heard and making our beliefs known, it’s about being an influence, being a good example, planting the seed,
of course we should be careful with others, but there is such a thing as being to careful,
as Catholics we should take action in one way or another, whether it’s by prayer, preaching, handing out books, prayer cards, articles, or just being a good influence and example,
there are so many things as Catholics that we can do…

well, i guess my main advice would be to get outta there, find another job, it’s not a good thing for others to see a Catholic supporting a place like that, even if you don’t, people will take it that way,
you don’t have to make a scene or start a protest or anything, but just by making your morals and beliefs known you can make an impact on others…

and other then that…just pray on it, pray for a new job, and pray for everyone there,
i know it may not be easy advice…but it’s good advice, we have to focus on what’s really important in life and why God made us in the first place.

ok, hope this helps you, tc.

 

[JackiRD]

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.

I must agree with Tmaque. I cannot accept as a Catholic that it would be the lesser of the two evils. Less evil does not equal good. And I don’t understand how young, unwed parents are considered an evil. True, its a tough situation and they might not be the best of parents. But my parents had me when they were married at ages 34 and 32 and I learned most of my morals elsewhere. If a child is brought into the world and mistreated, it is a true shame that they are mistreated. Yet, that child still has life; still has potential to be a saint; still has the chance to be a better example and witness than his/her parents were. If contraception is chosen, we get into huge societal issues and lots of pain that we live with now. Its so big that even many, many Catholics do consider contraception to be ok, even good. Sex then becomes just another physical need to be satisfied when it groans. Respect for the body and for self is lost. And how can the very thing that CREATES LIFE be just a physical urge?

And I really don’t think that anyone who “needs help” with contraceptions actually needs a student group plastering sex all over campus and handing them condoms. That’s why they sell them in a drug store with inserts in the package on how to use the product they purchased.

I have considered leaving my job. And maybe I will start looking elsewhere. I would like to stay because I am able to do homework most of the time at work (I don’t think I’d have time to work otherwise!! ), I like my boss a lot, and its overall convenient. I guess these are all just selfish claims though in a moral situation.

 

[JackiRD]

I guess I should also make it known that I do not work directly for this Haven Project (the one producing all of the sex materials). I work in the front office for the entire health center. And it isn’t just in the health center that they post these things. Its all over. I take it as just one example of our sex-saturated culture, that unfortunately everyone thinks my generation needs.
I will probably talk with my boss tomorrow about this and let her know that I just cannot do any work from that particular office. If she says that is a part of my job, then I will leave my job tomorrow.

 

[camerong]

Just speak with your boss. And if she fires you, then it sounds like you’re better off anyway.

You know, when I meet practicing homosexuals or people cohabitating or for whatever reason living in a way I disprove of, and they want to tell me about it or whatever, I “blame” it on my religion. “You know I’m Catholic, so I don’t really want to hear about it…” I’m not strong enough to take on all the scorn of people who disagree with me. Christ is, so lay it on Him and His Church. At the same time, however, I’m clearly asserting my beliefs.

“I wanted to talk with you… as you might be aware, I’m Catholic, and the Church disagrees with condoms (etc). As such, I don’t really feel comfortable doing X…”

 

[kage_ar]

By working there, you are cooperating with evil. Get another job.

 

[hellopeople]

This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but - if it bothers you so much, you should just get another job. I mean, what do you think is going to change? If this is such a large part of your job, and you morally oppose it, I’m sure you can find jobs that better fit your ideology.

I’m an atheist, though I consider myself to have decent morals, and I would add that non-religious people do not necessarily have any reason to keep sex within a marriage, or to even be monogamous. Birth control is vital for a lot of people, and if you are going to be not giving people information or hindering that in any way, you’re not helping these people.

A lot of people, probably most, at uni will be using contraception. They are not going to all convert to abstinence. And most are unfit to be parents yet. Think of it as the lesser of two evils…

I think that in terms of morality, being unfaithful in a relationship is always immoral…you don’t have to be religious to see the pain you can cause if you are unfaithful.

 

[hellopeople]

By working there, you are cooperating with evil. Get another job.

Is it really evil? People are going to have sex and disregard the teachings of the church. That is true of just about everyone in college (at least the great majority). Why not show them how to have sex so they do not put their health in danger and don’t have unwanted kids? Do you think of STD’s as a kind of punishment for fornicators?

 

[JimG]

Is it really evil? People are going to have sex and disregard the teachings of the church. That is true of just about everyone in college (at least the great majority). Why not show them how to have sex so they do not put their health in danger and don’t have unwanted kids? Do you think of STD’s as a kind of punishment for fornicators?

In practice, the widespread use of artificial contraception has resulted in more fornication, more out of wedlock pregnancies, (because no contraception is foolproof), more broken hearts, and more abortion.

 

[camerong]

I think that in terms of morality, being unfaithful in a relationship is always immoral…you don’t have to be religious to see the pain you can cause if you are unfaithful.

This may well be hijacking this thread, but if you deny the existence of God–assuming you do–how can you say its immoral to cheat? What is your basis for any kind of morality? I think the poster you quoted was using the only kind of self-consistent atheism I’ve ever heard of: we are merely material, so it really doesn’t matter if we move in one way or another (cheating or not cheating).

 

[camerong]

Is it really evil? People are going to have sex and disregard the teachings of the church. That is true of just about everyone in college (at least the great majority). Why not show them how to have sex so they do not put their health in danger and don’t have unwanted kids? Do you think of STD’s as a kind of punishment for fornicators?

The teachings of the Church, we believe, apply to all mankind. It is intrinsically evil–immoral–to use or promote the use of contraception. It really doesn’t matter if we agree on the practical effects of contraception as helping or hurting those who use it. If God says it is wrong–even if we become convinced it helps people tremendously–we will see it as wrong and we should refuse to participate in it. Now, I think it happens to be true that everything which God says is wrong is ultimately harmful to humans, and everything He says is good is beneficial to us. But I cannot guarantee these effects to be readily identifiable to us. And we will never intentionally stray from Him because we think our brief, narrow observations prove our beliefs more wise than His.

 

[JimG]

The widespread use of artificial contraception began in the 1960’s. The widespread acceptance of abortion began in the 1970’s. With all this contraception available, one would think that out of wedlock pregnancy rates would have decreased to zero by now. Instead, they increased, as did sexual promiscuity and abortion. Not to mention divorce and cohabitation, since contraception empowered men to abandon women.

 

[hellopeople]

In practice, the widespread use of artificial contraception has resulted in more fornication, more out of wedlock pregnancies, (because no contraception is foolproof), more broken hearts, and more abortion.

Or it very well could be that the rise in artificial contraception is BECAUSE of more fornication…not the other way around. Unless you have a study stating otherwise, both answers are equally valid.

 

[hellopeople]

This may well be hijacking this thread, but if you deny the existence of God–assuming you do–how can you say its immoral to cheat? What is your basis for any kind of morality? I think the poster you quoted was using the only kind of self-consistent atheism I’ve ever heard of: we are merely material, so it really doesn’t matter if we move in one way or another (cheating or not cheating).

Morality doesn’t have to stem from God or Jesus. One of my most trusted friends (and most moral) is an atheist. I think the golden rule can be the basis for a secular morality. It really makes the most sense.