Sex on daytime TV

[jazzbaby1]

Speaking of soaps, I’ve been watching Guiding Light for the past 30 years - and I am a devout Catholic who goes to Daily Mass. I am 62 years old and my daughter is out of house and not a soap fan even though she was around when I was watching. of course, 30 years ago the soaps were more family oriented and tamed. But Guilding Light is a hoot - some of the stories are so far fetched it is funny. But Guilding Light has a Catholic Priest on the show to straighten some of the characters out, and one of the older characters has become a minister. They recently had an abortion story showing the negativity of the abortion with the reactions of a devout Catholic family. If there are sex scenes (which GL is pretty low on, thank goodness), I fast forward. Anyway, as an older woman that’s my take on soaps.

I have to respectfully disagree with you here. I watched GL with my grandmother and greatgrandmother when I was young. I’m 38 now and one image that’s been burned on my brain was the rape of Rita Bauer by Roger Thorpe. I remember what she was wearing; I remember his breaking into the house; I remember the direction she ran to try to flee. It was a horrible thing for an eight year old to see but what was more horrible was that it was more important for my adults to see it than to protect my innocence. That show specifically, and the others they watched generally, really messed up the way I thought about love and sex for a long time.

 

[CarrieH]

Maturity often takes the charm away from these shows. But they ARE of a different ilk than the daytime soaps. I find them offensive also and won’t let my daughters watch them.

Amen to that. I would pray that she grows enough in her faith to see how trashy those shows are, or that she gets so bored with them that she will watch something else. But she is an adult and doesn’t need to be policed. Too many negative comments will just annoy her in the long run. I guess I’d speak my piece and then let it go, but I would have a chat with her about what she thinks would be appropriate family entertainment once she has children. If she thinks this stuff is OK for kids, I’d consider that a warning sign. Good luck and God bless.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

I used to watch soaps from the time I was 7 years old. I watched them until I felt my oldest child was too old to see it with me and then I made it a new year’s resolution to never watch them again. It worked.

I think it indicates a person’s spiritual immaturity for one thing…I cannot keep a straight face watching that stuff now. I could care less who Jason or Brenda or Carly or Sonny or Alan or Monica or Luci or Jagger or Jax are sleeping with/killing/or otherwise participating in other immoral behavior with.

It has been a while since you watched. Brenda, Lucy, Jagger are all gone. Alan was killed off but is around as a ghost til his contract runs out, and Jax and Carly are married now.

If she truly has a developed conscience, she will stop watching them when she has children old enough to make her think twice about what she is doing. But I do know moms with older children who still watch the shows anyway, and I can truly say that the children who watched with mom have turned out morally compromised. The programs today are much worse than they used to be.

I watched GH with my mom, and honestly I don’t think I’ve turned out that morally compromised. I think I’m getting along just fine.

To get myself off of them, I would try to schedule activities at 3pm so that I would have to miss my show. No Taping!!! Cold Turkey!!! But, I also agree with other people here who have said not to force the issue. It is an addiction and getting her to stop may be like getting an exorcism. If she is not ready, she will be very resentful. Living with it may be for the best for now if it can leave on its own later!

For me, I tivo Days and GH, my fiance thinks both are stupid, but he doesn’t tell me not to watch them. I watch when he’s not around (I’m not doing it to hide it from him), I don’t care to watch some of the shows he’s into. Ultimate fighting isn’t really my cup of tea. So he tivos it and watches when I’m not around. I don’t think watching Soaps makes you a morally bankrupt person with an addiction for bad tv. I just think maybe sometimes someone wants to watch something mindless when they decompress from a long day.

 

[whatevergirl]

**
Oh there are definitely more “serious” deal breakers out there. But we can’t ignore the fact that, right or wrong, this IS bothering the OP. Just because it’s not as big a deal as religion or parenting styles doesn’t mean it won’t cause friction in a future marriage.

It is up to the OP to decide if this is a deal breaker for HIM. If it is, that may be immature or petty, but it is his life and he has the right to choose a spouse based on his preferences. Just as his girlfriend has a right to choose a spouse who suits her needs/likes/wants…

What one watches on tv, especially if it is not outwardly affecting their lives/values/opinions is a personal decision. She should be allowed, as an adult, to make her own choices. He as an adult also has the right to choose…
**
Malia

Yes, agreed…that is why I said…‘this is my opinion.’

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Yes, agreed…that is why I said…‘this is my opinion.’

**Oh, I know, lol. But sometimes I just can’t help expanding on my opinion when another’s opinion triggers more ideas…

Malia
**

 

[Liberanosamalo]

All this presupposes, of course, as with ANY tv (including violent man-type shows) that it isn’t shown with children in the room when there are objectionable scenes.

And I take issue with the idea that a child viewing these shows is morally compromised and that will turn them into a bad person.

I promise you that most of them have way more dramatic stories and situations they hear in real life from their high school peers. But it’s often an opportunity to discuss that kind of activity on emotionally neutral turf. (For instance: “She is sleeping with him. Doesn’t that look skanky? What kind of romance is that when he is using her?” is much less loaded when talking about a tv character than a daughter’s friend.)

The shows at night glamorize bad behavior more and the characters don’t seem to be punished or made to pay for bad actions as much.

 

[Sr_Sally]

All this presupposes, of course, as with ANY tv (including violent man-type shows) that it isn’t shown with children in the room when there are objectionable scenes.

And I take issue with the idea that a child viewing these shows is morally compromised and that will turn them into a bad person.

I** promise you that most of them have way more dramatic stories and situations they hear in real life from their high school peers. **But it’s often an opportunity to discuss that kind of activity on emotionally neutral turf. (For instance: “She is sleeping with him. Doesn’t that look skanky? What kind of romance is that when he is using her?” is much less loaded when talking about a tv character than a daughter’s friend.)

The shows at night glamorize bad behavior more and the characters don’t seem to be punished or made to pay for bad actions as much.

There are too many example right on this thread (let alone in real life) of much younger children watching these shows. The OP isn’t even married yet, so it will be awhile before they have high schoolers in the house!

I don’t watch much TV at all. I’ve never been hooked on soaps or prime-time shows like Desperate Housewives. I’d say I can’t imagine any of them being even the least bit entertaining, except that I did watch the Bristish comedy “Are you Being Served?” for about a year when my dd was a baby. It was the first time I’d ever been home during the day. The show has that frightfully witty Bristish humor but it is also completely vulgar.

I stopped watching it when my husband objected and I haven’t missed it. I just found other things to do during the day. And certainly even when my dd was a toddler, I didn’t want her watching that stuff.

To the OP, I’d say watch a few episodes with her. Ask her what she likes about it. If it is just mindless relaxation, try to find things to replace that with. Rent old movies, learn a new card game together, listen to music. There are lots of ways to relax, and re-creating yourself with those types of shows isn’t the best choice. I also agree with the poster who said you should audit your own viewing and make sure you haven’t gotten hooked on something just as objectionable.

 

[whatevergirl]

**Oh, I know, lol. But sometimes I just can’t help expanding on my opinion when another’s opinion triggers more ideas…

Malia
**

ok

 

[Kepha15]

**
Oh there are definitely more “serious” deal breakers out there. But we can’t ignore the fact that, right or wrong, this IS bothering the OP. Just because it’s not as big a deal as religion or parenting styles doesn’t mean it won’t cause friction in a future marriage.

It is up to the OP to decide if this is a deal breaker for HIM. If it is, that may be immature or petty, but it is his life and he has the right to choose a spouse based on his preferences. Just as his girlfriend has a right to choose a spouse who suits her needs/likes/wants…

What one watches on tv, especially if it is not outwardly affecting their lives/values/opinions is a personal decision. She should be allowed, as an adult, to make her own choices. He as an adult also has the right to choose…
**
Malia

I would definitely say this isn’t a deal breaker for me. Like I said before, she and I are both devoted Catholics, and she really doesn’t live like those shows have an effect on her. I suspect it’s probably just as she says it is, that she gets entertainment from the “non-sex” parts of the show, and just puts up with the stuff that I find objectionable. I don’t see this as something that makes her a bad person, but rather as something that maybe as Christians we should make a conscious effort to avoid.

 

[whatevergirl]

I would definitely say this isn’t a deal breaker for me. Like I said before, she and I are both devoted Catholics, and she really doesn’t live like those shows have an effect on her. I suspect it’s probably just as she says it is, that she gets entertainment from the “non-sex” parts of the show, and just puts up with the stuff that I find objectionable. I don’t see this as something that makes her a bad person, but rather as something that maybe as Christians we should make a conscious effort to avoid.

You make a great point…in reality, when we view things like this, are we ourselves exploiting others just by viewing it? I don’t know, but it might be worth just turning the channel, just the same. I think that when women watch soaps… I used to years ago, I didn’t for the sex scenes. Really more for the drama of it. Same with Desperate Housewives, but frankly, I have stopped watching that show completely, as it’s not very Christian-like, and it paints women to be catty, sex crazed beings. Hardly what I see myself as, so why would I want to watch something that portrays women like that? It was funny initially, but it’s really kind of out there now…over the top sexual antics.

 

[paradoxy]

Thank you for the responses, they have all been most helpful. I feel though that I should have clarified better what I meant by “daytime tv”. I don’t really mean soap operas, but I probably should have said “primetime tv” (to me, anything that’s on before 10:00 at night is ‘daytime’). The shows I’m talking about are the ones that are on ABC during the week during primetime, shows like “Desperate Housewives” and “Big Shots”.

I’m a practicing EO, married, with a baby, and I watched the first two series of “Desperate Housewives” with my husband… and actually don’t remember anything offensive… or any sex scenes - maybe women just don’t notice those and focus on other stuff - I obviously did

So the characters do immoral stuff - so do fairy tale characters. So there’s no one to identify with in the moral sense - isn’t that the whole point? :ehh:

I’d probably have a problem with someone watching soaps - but that’s because I can be a snob . But I see nothing wrong with what you mentioned your gf watches. Probably men notice much more than women do when it comes to sex…

 

[housewife]

I agree with the people who say to Drop it.

 

[housewife]

I’m a practicing EO, married, with a baby, and I watched the first two series of “Desperate Housewives” with my husband… and actually don’t remember anything offensive… or any sex scenes - maybe women just don’t notice those and focus on other stuff - I obviously did

So the characters do immoral stuff - so do fairy tale characters. So there’s no one to identify with in the moral sense - isn’t that the whole point? :ehh:

I’d probably have a problem with someone watching soaps - but that’s because I can be a snob . But I see nothing wrong with what you mentioned your gf watches. Probably men notice much more than women do when it comes to sex…

This happens to me, too. I watch some shows because I just like to see what the women are wearing (trends and stuff). I mostly watch to see how they are wearing their makeup, clothes, shoes, handbags, etc… I don’t really notice anything else. I notice what men are wearing, too. It’s like they are modeling for me. I either like what they are wearing or I don’t. Also like checking out how they decorate. I rarely get hooked on a particular show.

 

[joelacour]

I’ve always wondered if a Christian family moved into [insert name of soap town]. Would the family be treated as freaks, or would their moral example lead to a movement towards the center.

Of course with all the inter-marriage in the typical soap, one wonders when the effects of interbreeding will begin to manifest themselves.

 

[whatevergirl]

I’ve always wondered if a Christian family moved into [insert name of soap town]. Would the family be treated as freaks, or would their moral example lead to a movement towards the center.

Of course with all the inter-marriage in the typical soap, one wonders when the effects of interbreeding will begin to manifest themselves.

what does inter-marriage and interbreeding mean??

 

[OldAgeGuru]

what does inter-marriage and interbreeding mean??

Here’s an example. On Days of Our Lives, Max Brady is the adopted brother of Bo Brady. When Hope was allegedly not Hope but Gina, Bo was married to Billie. Billie and Bo had a baby girl (Georgia) who allegedly died shortly after birth. Stephano DiMera actually kidnapped the baby and put it up for adoption, where she became Chelsea and basically lived in Salem and was friends with Abby. Billie figured out the Chelsea was really Georgia. Anywho, Chelsea and Max began dating.

This TECHNICALLY isn’t incest, since Max was adopted, and not really a blood relative, however that doesn’t stop the squickiness.

Or another example. Victor had John Black as a child with someone who I now cannot remember. Victor had Bo with Caroline Brady, Victor had a Phillip with Kate. Belle who is John daughter, dated Shawn, and Married Philip so she dated Phillips nephew but married Shawns Uncle, who is also sort of her uncle. She ended it with Phillip and is now back with Shawnwho is kind of her cousin , and that whole this is so gross I can’t really wrap my brain around it other than to say Belle is also the lamest character ever.

 

[paradoxy]

Here’s an example. On Days of Our Lives, Max Brady is the adopted brother of Bo Brady. When Hope was allegedly not Hope but Gina, Bo was married to Billie. Billie and Bo had a baby girl (Georgia) who allegedly died shortly after birth. Stephano DiMera actually kidnapped the baby and put it up for adoption, where she became Chelsea and basically lived in Salem and was friends with Abby. Billie figured out the Chelsea was really Georgia. Anywho, Chelsea and Max began dating.

This TECHNICALLY isn’t incest, since Max was adopted, and not really a blood relative, however that doesn’t stop the squickiness.

Or another example. Victor had John Black as a child with someone who I now cannot remember. Victor had Bo with Caroline Brady, Victor had a Phillip with Kate. Belle who is John daughter, dated Shawn, and Married Philip so she dated Phillips nephew but married Shawns Uncle, who is also sort of her uncle. She ended it with Phillip and is now back with Shawnwho is kind of her cousin , and that whole this is so gross I can’t really wrap my brain around it other than to say Belle is also the lamest character ever.

Whoa… :whacky: :hypno: I lost you after 3 words of that.

I wonder when a heroine is gonna find out she’s really her own long-lost mother. Then we’ll have seen it all.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

Which is why I don’t think soaps are that bad, if your 13 year old wants to date his/ her 20 year old 1st cousin, I think you have much bigger fish to fry than your teenager wanting to date.

I mean if you did a family tree of these people it would be one branch with some twigs.

Of course every now and then they bring on a new character that is somehow related to someone but not everyone and there is dating opportunity there as well.

Soaps are soaps, they are cheezy mindless entertainment that allows you to really not pay attention while zoning out.

I tivo GH and DOOL. I come home, walk my dog and flip them on. I don’t have to pay any real attention to them, I know what the plot lines are, but it’s just how I decompress after work.

I don’t honestly believe that my life is anything like Marlena (Thank God, she was possessed, exorcised, was the Salem Stalker, came back from the dead, had amnesia, I couldn’t live that way! and had discovered her husband was not really her husband then got divorced and married a priest who thought he was a priest and not her husband. All in a span of like 10 years!!.)
Somethings are mindless escapist fun.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

Whoa… :whacky: :hypno: I lost you after 3 words of that.

I wonder when a heroine is gonna find out she’s really her own long-lost mother. Then we’ll have seen it all.

On General Hospital, there is a character named Alexis (whom I adore). She had an illiict affair with her client Sonny. She had a daughter, Kristina, because of it. She then went on to marry Sonny’s half brother Ric and had a daughter, Molly with him. So in effect, they are half sisters and cousins at the same time.

Sam’s given away for adoption daughter Sam also slept with Ric *(and Sonny!) while Alexis was married to Ric. Methinks a therapist would make some serious bank in Port Chuckles. Note to self, quit job and move to PC so I can become totally wealthy.

 

[whatevergirl]

Here’s an example. On Days of Our Lives, Max Brady is the adopted brother of Bo Brady. When Hope was allegedly not Hope but Gina, Bo was married to Billie. Billie and Bo had a baby girl (Georgia) who allegedly died shortly after birth. Stephano DiMera actually kidnapped the baby and put it up for adoption, where she became Chelsea and basically lived in Salem and was friends with Abby. Billie figured out the Chelsea was really Georgia. Anywho, Chelsea and Max began dating.

This TECHNICALLY isn’t incest, since Max was adopted, and not really a blood relative, however that doesn’t stop the squickiness.

Or another example. Victor had John Black as a child with someone who I now cannot remember. Victor had Bo with Caroline Brady, Victor had a Phillip with Kate. Belle who is John daughter, dated Shawn, and Married Philip so she dated Phillips nephew but married Shawns Uncle, who is also sort of her uncle. She ended it with Phillip and is now back with Shawnwho is kind of her cousin , and that whole this is so gross I can’t really wrap my brain around it other than to say Belle is also the lamest character ever.

LOL–ok…I see. Yes, that is a good question.