Get ready for a heated debate thread.
You sill see posts that condemn things as sinful…some that say there is not sin. You need to have a good understanding of what the Church teaches on these matters to know what to take seriously and what to not.
From another thread:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=9919667&postcount=541
Basically, read the Catechism from paragrpahs 1643-1654 and 2337-2400.
Also, if you really like reading the Popes, read Casti Connubii, Humanae Vitae, and Familiaris Consortio.
Short answers:
Any position is fine, as long as you both agree to it/like it.
Oral or manual stimulation is fine…in the context of the conjugal union. In other words…when used as part of the marital act and the marital act is completed in the natural way (intravaginal ejaculation). In other words…foreplay is fine, but you must not stimulate your husband to completion outside the vagina…such completion of an act is not ordered toward procreation.
The Church teaches the marital union is both unitive and procreative. So, each act must be properly ordered toward, per se, procreation and unification (does not mean i tmust be “procreative”, per se, but properly ordered toward procreation). Either of these gets thwarted (or both) and there is then disorder in the act.